Just because I wonder

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Unless you live in a place, as I do, where parents name their children by dumping a box of Alphabits cereal on a flat surface, chances are fairly good the young'uns playing in your neighborhoods have names which are ordinary.

Aaaand another baby is named.

The Social Security Administration has released a list of the most popular baby names.

I am surprised to see what I considered to be somewhat older names coming back. Abigail being a good example. Growing up, I can't remember a single person my age with that name. Older people, yes.

If you look at the ranking change list, you'll see Hispanic and Moslem names scooting their way up the charts.

I'm just making an observation here. Infer what you will (and some of you will, I know).

That aside, I ask what's in a name. Many cultures but current and historic put a great deal of emphasis on a name. The name defined a person, his role, his status, his past and future. The name described a person. I am reminded here of Jabez from the Old Testament and Naomi who changed her name to Mara.

My kids are each named for their grandparents. Jesse never met his namesakes. Susan has only met one of her namesakes.

My name, so I am told, is a traditional family name and was given to male members of the Baker Clan, some of whom have moved away. Yet the tradition has continued with some of them as I've had chances over the years to hear from some of 'em.

How about your name? How'd you come to it? Does it have any meaning beyond a collection of letters and issued phonemes by which you are  called?

Just curious on a Tuesday afternoon with a thunderstorm overhead.

Whew

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I sit here with various dirt-packed automobile fluids on my hands and arms, having just worked on the Foad again (and lost my 7/16ths wrench to boot) happier than I have been in some time.

I fixed the truck (thanks Sam!) and got the beast done.

The magazine is at the press. I am now waiting to make sure everything is copacetic on their end. When I get the Thumbs Up, I may very well curl into a ball, roll under my desk and weep.

This 32-page magazine is the first I have ever put out. It is the first The Wiregrass has put out. The paper is 110 years old this year.

The staff here is simply awesome for putting up with me as I designed and laid this thing out with their magnificent help. I could not have done it without Linda & Robin. They, I think, could have done it without me.

I've been in newspapers more'n 25 years now. I'm not gonna say I'm the best in the business, but I can do what's needed.

But a magazine.

It's like riding a bicycle and a motorcycle. The same very basic skill set applies to both. If you've never ridden a motorcycle, but can ride a bike, the first time you get on a motorcycle...

That's what it was like with this magazine. I can only recall stress levels being this high around here two other times. The source of that stress is no longer here. Which is good. Because had that source remained here, someone would be moldering in a grave right now.

It's done. We're all happy here. Very happy. And very relieved.

The magazine will be out at the end of the month. Yes, we have ordered extra copies. If you get a print subscription, you'll get a copy. We're working on getting the magazine on the website as well.

Meantime, here's another preview.

Lenny? Lenny? Brother, I understand.

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By today's standards, the late Lenny Bruce's stand up comedy act was mild. Yet, he was repeatedly arrested for obscenity. At first, he took great delight in these arrests and was proud of it. As time moved on and his arrest record grew, he got increasingly weary of it.

Booking shot of Lenny Bruce

This week I have been, lightly in one instance, accused of being a troublemaker. I agree with that.

When you try and make people think you will be branded a malcontent, a troublemaker, a social anarchist and a whole buncha other pejoratives.

Hurt me baby make me write bad checks.

A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill.
Robert A. Heinlein

This week I was also attacked verbally. Not the first time and no question it won't be the last.

Here's the briefly edited (you can see my edits) attack. Profanities are direct from the original writer, not me

Be very afraid

Half way thru building the first awning..big ben baker n _____ ________ pop up for a visit. Saying it was a state and city law that I was breaking because I didn't ask their permission before I dressed my building up. No additions, no concrete footers, just adding 4 awnings. The historical committee has been in action for 8 years and they have never told anyone NO on any improvements, yet they want me to hold off on work for almost 5 days so they can all get together and tell me if my awnings will be historically correct? Lol. If the answer is always yes, then why do u have to ask? Simple... power trip , egotistical bullshit. Why isn't there any new business in this town? I wonder. Why do businesses never come here? Hmmm. Wish the power trip bastards that constantly harass me would get the hell on. I guarantee one thing, if I ever get enough damn approval from these s.o.b.'s and manage to get open, there is gonna be a list posted on my door that will tell just who will not be allowed in my business. No matter how much money they may wanna spend, or how much they might wanna snoop, or take pictures, they ain't gonna be allowed. So write ur stupid ass stories in the paper, try to tell people another version all u want. People know bullshit when they see it...and there are two clowns in this town that are dripping with it.

You can read the thread on my page if you wish and with some navigation skills, find the other threads on other people's pages.

Let me ask what you'd have done under the circumstances, based on the information above. Pick a side. Either side. Tell me.

I point out here I went to the person in question and repeatedly asked he comply with the law. Asked. I was well within my rights to get a law enforcement officer, have the above gent charged with various infractions and haul everyone to court.

I asked. Repeatedly. I never swore, despite being sworn at.

Now what would you do? Has your opinion changed?


In the midst of being sworn at and insulted, I called a meeting of the board this man needed to appear before. I explained when the meeting was and what he needed to do. Later that evening the meeting was moved up to the next day.


The man in question came to the meeting and spent most of his time apparently looking at his cell phone. He answered a couple of questions. He got the approval he needed, unanimously.

What would you do? How would you have reacted? Did I do right or was I wrong?


In the aftermath, I have again been insulted and verbally attacked. It's damned all hard to restrain myself and not respond in kind, but I'm doing it. I was in the right and continue to be in the right.


As I have repeatedly said, if you don't like the laws, work to change them. To this statement I add, if you defy those laws, expect to pay the costs associated with your rebellion.


But to verbally attack, cuss at and denigrate the people who are asking you to comply with the law, ASKING not demanding ... well, dammitall yes. I've been there. I offer no excuse. I can be stupid too.


In this matter at least, I had the high road and I stuck to it. Or did I? Again, what would you have done?

I see these people insulting me and I wonder, if I treated them the same way they have treated me, how would they react? Actually, I know. There ain't no bottom to that pit.


As for those who are attacking me, well, Christ was spit upon as He carried the cross to save mankind. I reckon I'm in good company. So if you are one who has attacked me, know this - I forgive you. If I was out of line in any way, I ask you to forgive me.


In the meantime, I shall bear whatever lashes are laid upon me. But, Lenny old man, it sure doesn't feel good.

Perspectives, or It ain't no thang

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People periodically watch me build ads, lay out pages, write stories, etc and express amazement how I do it.

Keep looking. You'll get it.

These same people are the surprised when I have to find a calculator to compute even the smallest sums. I don't do math. Never have.

Got caught cheating on multiplication tests in elementary school. I forget what happened afterward.

As a junior in high school, my math ability tested out somewhere around 6th grade. Dad, a Georgia Tech graduate, was mortified. Mom, from whom I inherited by stellar math abilities, was not surprised in the least.

These people who are surprised at the ease with which I do my job often have a hard time grasping their jobs are complicated and probably difficult to me.

"But it's easy," they say.

Sure is. You know how to do it and you have experience doing it, I reply back.

Sort of. My actual reply is:

"And putting out a newspaper is easy for me. I've been doing it for 28 years."

Then, they get it. Perspective matters.

What is easy for you is a major undertaking for another person. Doesn't matter what it is.

For instance: I quit smoking years ago. Laid 'em down and that was it. Easy. I also quit chewing tobacco, which was a MUCH harder task. If it would not kill me and I could afford it, I'd have a pouch of chew in my pocket right now and a wad in my jaw.

I know plenty of people who've also quit. I know plenty of people who have tried and cannot quit. 

What's easy for you is next to impossible for someone else.

What is a breeze for one person is next to impossible for you.

Remember that next time you're inclined to belittle someone's capabilities.

At the same time, some people simply will not try. I don't have much sympathy for those folks.

Anyway, here's an idea of what we in the paper bidnez do: http://people.howstuffworks.com/newspaper.htm Understand that all the stuff this article talks about is condensed into 4 people for the paper I work for.

Random brain droppings

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Today, an assortment of assorted unsorted sorties.

I just like this cartoon.

•••

People who've known me for years N years are still surprised when I tell them (for the kajillionth time) that I do not watch TV. I am not smart enough to watch TV.

I once said this to a person I know and he expressed incredulity at my lack of cognitive ability wherewith I should be able to participate in his favored form of recreation.

"You just turn it on," he said.

"That's all?" I asked. "You just watch? You don't have to do anything else?"

"Yes," he said.

To  him, sarcasm is a person from a foreign country or a spice and irony is what happens to your shirts at the dry cleaners.

I maintain if he has the IQ level necessary to watch TV, then I am absolutely not smart enough.

•••

Truth.

The Guns of the South is the best book written in the past 20 years. Am presently reading Harry Turtledove's WWII and Invasion series. Not as good as Guns, but still I find myself enjoying his work immensely.

•••

Thanks to Pakrat, I have Megatome 1. I realize this means little to you, but the book is a compilation of the Sluggy Freelance online cartoon strip. Megatome 1 in first edition is worth a WHOLE lot more than I paid for it. Thanks Phil!

•••

Please, join me in praying for Jayme.

•••

We are the sum of the choices we have made and what circumstances and others have done to us. No one may fully take the blame or the credit.

•••

Everyone has a price. Everyone. The only thing to be determined is who can afford to pay it. Well, another question could be: Do you know what your price actually is?

As I said to a friend this morning, people around the world, a whole lot in the United States including many, many in my town and community, exchange sexual favors for economic security. What do you call these people?

I call a lot of them "married."

What is the difference between a person who exchanges sex for money with many people and a person who exchanges sex for money (economic security) with one person?

Most likely, one person is more honest about what he or she does to make ends meet.

If that offends you, then I suggest you start living in this place I call reality. Then, you won't be offended when someone shows you the truth.

•••

Not that you care...

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Some time back I wrote a satire piece about how the American news room and the government had joined forces to outsource reporting to China. I can't find the article now.

So, I point you to this.

In short, the Chicago Tribune is hiring people in the Philippines to write news for the newspaper. Local news. Yes. People in the Philippines are being hired, while they live in the islands nation, to write local news.

This American Life checked into this and got nothing but evasions from the Tribune Company. Exactly as I would expect.

Meanwhile, real journalists in the US are being laid off. Meanwhile, the quality of the news in the "hyperlocal" publications has tanked. Hyperlocal, BTW, is the new journalism buzzword for what the majority of journalists have traditionally done are doing and will continue to do. It just means covering the news that happens where you live.

But, that's what folks want. You may disagree. You are in a minority.

So be it.

'Bout dat other decision

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I confess here to some ambivalence.

SCOTUS also ruled on Thursday lying is OK, within some limits. I do not refer to the health care decision. Rather, SCOTUS ruled that a law making it a crime to lie about your past is illegal, sort of.

Picture of a confirmed liar

The overturned law was created in the wake of a man who claimed to have received the Medal of Honor, the highest award this nation can give a person in the military. He was later found to be a liar and fired.

Congress then passed a law making it illegal to make such a claim.

The decision was 6-3. "KENNEDY, J., announced the judgment of the Court and delivered an opinion, in which ROBERTS, C. J., and GINSBURG and SOTOMAYOR, JJ., joined. BREYER, J., filed an opinion concurring in the judgment, in which KAGAN, J., joined. ALITO, J., filed a dissenting opinion, in which SCALIA and THOMAS, JJ., joined." re: the official SCOTUS decision. United States v. Alvarez

A bit I find HILARIOUS is the opening sentence of the majority decision, "Lying was his habit."

This man, Xavier Alvarez (at right), has been formally, officially and without question branded forever as purveyor of falsehood. This is now as much of a fact as anything can be in this world.

The court carved out a narrow exception for this kind of lying.

"These quotations all derive from cases discussing defamation, fraud, or some other legally cognizable harm associated with a false statement, such as an invasion of privacy or the costs of vexatious litigation. See Brief for United States 18–19. In those decisions the falsity ofthe speech at issue was not irrelevant to our analysis, but neither was it determinative. The Court has never endorsed the categorical rule the Government advances: thatfalse statements receive no First Amendment protection.Our prior decisions have not confronted a measure, likethe Stolen Valor Act, that targets falsity and nothing more."

The Court's decision repeatedly references Hustler Magazine v. Falwell, a precedent setting case in which Jerry Falwell sued Larry Flynt and Hustler Magazine over cartoons that portrayed Falwell as an idiot.

And while I am not a SCOTUS groupie, I'll admit to never recalling the Court including classic literature as it does here: "Permitting the government to decree this speech to be a criminal offense, whether shouted from the rooftops or made in a barely audible whisper, would endorse government authority to compile a list of subjects about whichfalse statements are punishable. That governmental power has no clear limiting principle. Our constitutional tradition stands against the idea that we need Oceania’s Ministry of Truth. See G. Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) (Centennial ed. 2003)."

Alito, in writing for the dissent, said, "These lies, Congress reasonably concluded, were undermining our country’s system of military honors and inflicting real harm on actual medal recipients and their families.... By holding that the First Amendment nevertheless shields these lies, the Court breaks sharply from a long line of cases recognizing that the right to free speech does not protect false factual statements that inflict real harm and serve no legitimate interest. I would adhere to that principle and would thus uphold the constitutionality of this valuable law."

He's got a point. "In many instances, the harm is tangible in nature: Individuals often falsely represent themselves as award recipients in order to obtain financial or other material rewards, such as lucrative contracts and government benefits."

As for me? I dunno. I can see merit on both sides.

There are cases when lying is appropriate (and before the Christians decide to jump my case, be sure you have read the Bible). If not appropriate, there certainly are cases where telling the truth is inadvisable. And on that matter, the Constitution's 5th Amendment supports me.

http://porkbrainsandmilkgravy.blogspot.com/2012/03/lie-to-me.html

Your Friday Funny

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.Write it down


(Or, gratuitious use of the word "Pneumonoultramicro-scopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" in a humor column



I propose here and now to to build a monument to the first man to ever say the following to a woman.

“Write down what you want me to say and I’ll say it.”

This is a 100 percent, idiot-proof and fool-proof idea. It works no matter what angle I look at this from. It’s just a no-lose situation for men and women.

Vicki told me last week Randy Skinner, her boyfriend, told her that. If Randy is the first man to ever say that, then the money drive to build this monument to Randy starts here and now. Randy, pick the place where you’d like to have a 100-foot tall statue of yourself located.

“I humbly accept this award and am flattered to be in this article. Run it,” Randy wrote when I emailed the idea to him. “At least that’s what it says here on this piece of paper that Vicki just gave me.” As for location “Ty Ty is good; Scooterville, or Chula,” he wrote.”

It’s perfect. It takes part of the responsibility off us men and eliminates the possibility we will say something wrong. We still have to say whatever is written down, so don’t think us men are completely off the hook. Speaking as man, I can say with authority that some women can write things that are next to impossible for a man to say. Women can write, with impunity, such words as “Committment,” “Vasectomy,” “Romance,” “Antidisestablish-mentarianism,” “My mother is coming to spend a month with us,” and “Pneumonoultramicro-scopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.”

Men will stutter, stumble, fall down, sprain the speech center of their brain, paralyze their vocal chords and fracture several speech-related bones when attempting to speak such words. In very rare cases, a man’s brain will freeze, much like a computer, which means the man must be rebooted carefully.

The reboot process for men generally takes at least a month, involves large boats, large guns, large fish, large animals and mass quantities of cold beverages. Sadly, there are recorded instances of men never fully recovering from their tragic system shock and they had to spend the rest of their lives in therapy, unable to say more than a few words, those words being “dip net,” “Boone & Crockett,” “PBR,” and “more.” Scientists were able to use these men in trials to find better and more reliable methods of treating a male brain freeze. These guys would not have had it any other way.

Please pause with me while I observe a moment of silence for these men who sacrificed so much for the rest of us.

<dramatic pause with head bowed>

Now, I can hear the women saying now how they want men to be spontaneous. Writing something down for a man to say takes all the surprise out of it, women are now saying.

Ladies. You honestly do not want us men to be spontaneous. You don’t. Really.

When men are spontaneous, women hate it.

A man can be sitting around watching TV and rip one that blows the upholstry off the furniture, removes the varnish from the end table and makes the dog pass out. That is spontaneous. At least a really really good one is. We can't plan to do something like that.

A man gets up Saturday morning intending to mow the yard. As he cranks the mower, he suddenly realizes the weekend would be better spent fishing for grouper off Alligator Point. So, he jumps in his truck and without a single word to anyone, he’s gone.

A man is watching football on TV. He suddenly switches loyalties from one team to the other. In addition to being spontaneous, this is highly unlikely and is an indicator of a pending brain freeze.

A man sits down at the supper table and has a sardine sandwich instead of the woman’s carefully prepared Tofu Surprise.

Instead of visiting the regular watering hole, a man decides to head one town over for the night’s festivities without telling anyone.

On the way home, a man suddenly decides to trade his “old reliable” ride for any one or any combination of the following: a 1954 Harley Panhead, a new boat, a giant jacked-up 4x4 with a cowcatcher bumper the size of Rhode Island, an exotic animal hunting ranch in Texas.

Now ladies, tell me. How many of you would genuinely appreciate such spontaneous acts by your man?

I thought so.

Women want their men to staid, solid and predictable. Fit that square peg neatly into the square hole and let the rhomboids, circles, triangles, politicians and octagons take a flying leap off the metaphorical geometric shapes table of relationships.

HOLD THE PRESSES! A female type person just pointed out a flaw. She planned last week to write a valentine to her beau with words for him to say. “Will you marry me?”

Men around the world are now reeling in shock and hurridly attempting to retract what they just told their girlfriends about writing anything down. Uh, Randy, the men of the world may still build you a monument, but don’t expect to have a very large one. And, we’re gonna put it in downtown Two Egg, Fla. I’m sure you understand.


Dis kolimb is copyrighted to Spontaneous Men And the Women Who Hate Them Inc. (llc), bizarre lung diseases and my accountant.

Taking the moral high ground

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It’s amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor and suffering people yourself is compassion. Voting for our government to us guns to give money to poor and suffering people is immoral, self-righteous bulling laziness. People need to be fed, medicated, educated, clothed and sheltered. If we’re compassionate, we’ll help them, but you get no moral credit for forcing other peep to do what you think is right. There is great joy in helping people, but no joy in doing it at gunpoint.

Penn Gillette

Some people are gonna argue that no one is forcing me, at gunpoint, to help poor people.

I'm from the government...

Some people need to get out of Plato's Cave and into reality.

My taxes go to fund government subsidies of poor people.

I'm forced to subsidize people who deliberately get so fat they can collect disability checks.

Why?

Such people exist in the town where I live.

You may say I'm not being held at gunpoint to do this. I ask you, what will happen if I refuse to pay taxes? The revenue collectors will certainly come after me. Some of them carry firearms. Depending on how egregious the non payment of taxes is, guns figure into it more and more.

Al Capone was incarcerated for income tax evasion. As a result, he was surrounded by guns pointed at him. Capone's refusal to pay taxes which was giving his money to poor people against his will, resulted in him being forced at gunpoint to do other things he also did not want to do.

Do not think this is confined to Liarberals. The Cantservative crowd is JUST as guilty. Even the Teabaggers are complicit in taking my money and giving it to people against my will. I have YET to met a Teabagger who didn't have his hand out for something from the government. Doubt I ever will.

The only difference in the groups is who gets the money.

A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.


Alexander Fraser Tytler

The problem with taking my money and giving it to people (causes, programs or events) against my will is this sets a precedent. To be completely fair, you must allow me to take your money and give it to people, causes or events against your will.

You sure you wanna go there?

The only moral high ground when it comes to money is let people spend it how they wish as long as they aren't hurting someone else.

In that regard, I'm far more moral than most of the people who will vote in the coming elections.

Your money

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I ain't here to sell you something. I'm just here to remind you it is your money you are spending.

There's a product you pretty much have to buy. Have to. There are some few and isolated exceptions of course.

Since you have to have this product, how much are you spending on it? If you could save money, substantial amounts, would you?

Most folks won't.

Sad, but true.

Again, I ain't here to sell you something. But I do tell you I had a bill for this product that was nearly $1,400 a year. I shopped around and found not only the exact same thing, but a better one for just a bit less than $600 a year.

That's less'n half the original bill and I got a better product to boot.

Took me about 35 minutes over the course of a couple of weeks to get this. Now I don't have to spend any time on it at all. Dunno about you, but $1,600 an hour is pretty good pay. That's what this worked out to.

What'd I do?

I shopped my insurance policies around.

No, I'm not telling you who I had my coverage with or who it's with now. I will tell you I have a local agent and had a local agent previously.

And that's all you need to know.

It's your money.

We has met the enemy

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Earlier this week I got to talk to a group of 7th graders in a Youth Leadership Class. We ran through the Real Game of Life. Among the topics, we discussed career options.

And you're about to be turned into bass bait.

As this was a severe dose of reality, I told the ladies a career option is stripper. Yes, I did. I also told all of them a career option is dealing drugs.

Simply because YOU object to these things does not mean they do not exist.

I also told these kids the very real drawbacks to those kinds of jobs.

We also discussed the military and how their job is often as simple as killing people.

One of kids raised the point that he has no problem killing the "bad people."

Being me, I immediately asked "Who are the bad people?"

"People who kill children."

Wot Walt said.

"The US military routinely kills women, babies and children with drone strikes and bombs," I said.

One of the students then gave a brief recount of some of her family members who served in 'Nam and who US soldiers there killed women, children and babies.

"Does that make the United States bad?" I asked.

The young student sat back in his chair a bit perplexed. He grudgingly admitted it appears the US is a bad guy.

You can find a lot more of these reports if you bother to look.

So who is the bad guy?

I do not in any way depreciate the people who died in the terrorism attacks and the noble men and women who sacrificed to save others. Billions in damage and thousands dead.

There must be a reckoning.

"The cost of wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Pakistan are estimated at 225,000 lives and up to $4 trillion in U.S. spending, in a new report by scholars with the Eisenhower Research Project at Brown University’s Watson Institute for International Studies." http://news.brown.edu/pressreleases/2011/06/warcosts

When a toddler in Pakistan gets his legs blown off in a bombing attack, have we really served justice or have we turned into the bad guys?

I remind you the current president is the man who specifically orders drone strikes now.

Wonder what he'd think if the Pakistani government came over here with drone and blew the legs off his daughters.

Lead, follow or get out of the way

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A longtime friend asked what keeps you (a group you not me specifically) going or not going.


I ask the same of you this morning.

No I said turn RIGHT, RIGHT!

Something motivates you to get up in the morning and start moving. For some people the motivation is going to the bathroom. Seriously. They appear to have no greater goal in life than to no soil the place where they sit.

Of course there are rare occasions of people who don't bother to move at all. I recall the recent case of a person who sat down in a chair and didn't moved from it for years.

Yeah. What you are thinking. Uhn.

Set aside the people who are too lazy to be bothered with actually having a life. If you are one, quit reading now and go back to find out what Lando Calrissian, or whatever their names are, is up to.

What motivates you? If it's only paying the bills ... I don't know what to say.

What motivates me? Waiting to see what happens next is a large part of it. With two teenagers at home, a lot happens frequently. It's never boring. Sometimes more exciting than I want, but that comes with it.

There are some things I have yet to do. Some of my goals I'll probably never reach, but I'm gonna try.

One thing that motivates me is I enjoy, really and truly enjoy, my job. I get up in the morning and look forward to coming to work. I realize some people don't understand that because they hate their job. Ain't my problem. I was smart enough to get a job I like.

So what motivates you? What drives you? Are you enjoying what you do?

Regardless, it all comes down to you. You are the one in charge of your situation. If you don't like where you are, do something about it or it's just going to get worse.

Imagine a long string of profanity here

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I shall not use profanity in this column, despite being massively pressured to do so.

Pressured why and by whom? You'll see in a moment.

But I'm mad today. I'm not shaking mad, but close to it.

If you REALLY needed proof there is no difference between DAMNOCRATS AND REBOOBICANS - excuse me, I need to calm down. Back in a moment.

Back.

The Immigration Reform and Control Act (IRCA), Pub.L. 99-603, 100 Stat. 3359, enacted November 6, 1986, also Simpson-Mazzoli Act, is an Act of Congress which reformed United States immigration law. Among the provisions of this law:

"• [G]ranted amnesty to illegal immigrants who entered the United States before January 1, 1982 and had resided there continuously."


DIDJA SEE THAT? THE #$%(*)&%^$&^* REBOOBICANS GRANTED AMNESTY TO ILLEGAL ALIENS IN 1986 AND NOW THEY ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE CURRENT PRESIDENT GIVING A TEMPORARY PASS TO KIDS BROUGHT HERE ILLEGALLY BY THEIR PARENTS.
 
In ALL the media reports I have digested about this decision, NOT ONE has brought up the 1986 act and subsequent amnesties by the Washington oligarchy.

I offer no opinion one way or another on the current president's immigration waiver plan. I merely point out the duplicity of the political party arguments.

Ain't the first time they have done this. By "they" I mean pick the myopic $%^&*((* of your choice in Washington. And, the other group.

Each group of sawed off #$%^&*&^%$ does something and the other side complains. Look back a few years and you'll see the roles are reversed.

Change? A difference?

Where? I can't find it and I've been looking for 20 something years now.

The only CHANGE we'll see in Washington by continuing to elect Face Dancers is the continuing erosion of our rights and our wallets. If you don't catch my reference to Face Dancer, then good. Now you have to something to research.

There. Is. No. Difference.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is not only historically stupid (not ignorant, but stupid), but is in danger of being attacked by Egyptian crocodiles cause they are over their head in De Nile. (I'm allowed a bad pun once in a while.)

Your Friday Funny - a personality profile test

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Personality and relationship "profile" articles are one of the main features in women's magazines. Not since the 1970's has a men's magazine featured a "real" Q&A profile article.

After spending a week of research reviewing lingerie ads in women's magazines and every now and then looking at the "profiles" article and studiously poring over hundreds of back issues of Cosmo, I have put together a "profile" questionnaire suitable for every member of the family even your weird brother..

Just choose an answer from the multiple choice answers.


1) Your idea of a perfect evening is:
 
a. A quiet romantic dinner for two, dancing and so forth.
b. Peace and quiet. 

c. An all-night Barney marathon. 

d. Cool movie and no curfew. 

e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank.

f. In bed by 8 p.m. 



2) Your idea of a perfect meal is: 

a. Anything by candlelight. 

b. Anything that doesn't wind up on the floor, walls, ceiling or in the dog. 

c. Mac & cheese, burgers and fries.
d. A buffet.
e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank.
f. Anything easy to digest. 



3) Your dream vacation is:
a. Tahiti, Cozumel, Acapulco, or Bermuda. 

b. A weekend with NOTHING to do. 

c. Any place with giant cartoon characters come to life.
d. Panama City Beach.
e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank. 

f. Somewhere warm with low humidity. 



4) Your ideal "significant other" is someone who: 

a. Enjoys moonlight walks on the beach and poetry.
b. Can handle high-pitched screams, constant yelling and bodily fluids without going ballistic. 

c. Doesn't eat your crayons. 

d. Has a driver's license 

e. Has a 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank. 

f. Can drive at night. 



5) When looking for a long-term relationship, the most important thing is: 

a. Commitment.
b. Everything in a large, economy size. 

c. Shares the juice cup. 

d. Has own vehicle.
e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank.
f. Number of joint replacements. 



6. If give $1 million you would: 

a. Promote world peace, help the homeless, etc. 

b. Buy a bigger version of everything. 

c. Party all night 

e. Buy 12-pack -- heck, a case, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank.
f. Buy a turbo-charged pace-maker. 



7. Your favorite clothes are: 

a. An evening dress or slacks and a smoking jacket with a silk cravat. 

b. Easy to get stains out of.
c. "Favorite" as in clothes? You gotta be kidding. 

d. Jeans, loose fitting shirt, the latest sneakers.
e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank. 

f. Polyester. 



8. You would prefer to see:
a. An opera.
b. The back of your eyelids for 12 uninterrupted hours.
c
. Sesame Street on Ice. 

d. Lollapalooza. 

e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank.
f. Next week. 



9. Your most recent significant achievement is: 

a. Reading the entire works of Sidney Sheldon. 

b. Getting out of bed.
c. A B C D E F G... 

d. Successfully using a fake ID. 

e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank.
f. This morning's trip to the bathroom. 



10. When going somewhere you take: 

a. A portable Nieman Marcus department store. 

b. The entire contents of the house.
c. A suitcase full of Barbie dolls, the entire G.I. Joe set and things that shoot plastic projectiles or water. 

d. Money and/or credit cards. 

e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank.
f. A pharmacy. 



11) If you could vote for anyone for president, it would be: 

a. Hillary Clinton. 

b. Bill Cosby. 

c. Elmo. 

d. Aerosmith. 

e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank. 

f. Ronald Reagan. 

If you answered Justin Bieber, then please, kill yourself now and save the rest of us the trouble.


12) The most important thing to you is: 

a. A good complexion. 

b. Restraining the urge to strangle. 

c. Blue's Clues. 

d. Nothing is important.
e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank. 

f. Living long enough to be a burden. 



13) Your next major goal in life is:
a. A complete facial.

b. Graduation.

c. Extracting revenge from sibling. 

d. Graduation.

e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank. 

f. An afternoon nap. 



14) Your most recent major investment was: 

a. A week-long stay at a health spa. 

b. Groceries. 

c. What's an investment? 

d. A tank of gas. 

e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank.
f. A 6-week newspaper subscription. 



15) You are most concerned about: 

a. Wrinkles. 

b. Permanent damage.
c. Finding Waldo.
d. A reason for anything. 

e. A 12-pack, viennies, some poles and a pond or river bank. 

f. Falling. 


Give yourself 1 point for each a., 2 for each b., 3 for each c., and 4 for each d., 5 for each e., 6 for each f.

If you didn't bother to take this test, you certainly shouldn't be reading the carefully developed and incredibly accurate results.

If you scored 15, you are mentally unstable. You should get out of your house and see what life actually is. You have no friends.

If you scored 30, uh, Mom, why did you take this test?  If you're not Mom, you need help. You need lots of help. May we humbly suggest several full-time assistants.

If you scored 45, you are a very cool, likeable and all-around well-adjusted person. You are not perfect, but you freely admit that someone else did it.

If you scored 60, you are depressed, sullen and very annoying to be around. Fortunately, this will only last a few years, after which you will return to the old depressed, sullen and very annoying person those around you have come to hate.

If you scored 75, you are as close to perfect as a human being can be on this planet. Everyone around you wishes they could be just like you.

If you scored 90, you are a poster-child for Euthansia. Die and make room for younger people.
If you scored anything other than the above scores, you must have taken the test incorrectly. In other words, you failed. You will have to repeat the class to earn credit.

I lied. If you chose any answer other than E for any question, there’s no hope for you as a human being.

The arrogance of journalism

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I heard a news report on Public Radio not long ago in which the station refused to broadcast one side of the story.

Refused. Said no. The other side of the story was willing to be interviewed and willing to present this other side. The station said no.

This is not unusual. It's actually common.

Hearing the other side of the story, in this case, was important I felt.

So why did the radio refuse to let the other side have a say?

Arrogance. Pure, simple, unbridled arrogance. This is not confined to broadcast media either.

The additional information you don't have but need:  The other side agreed to speak but only if his comments were presented exactly as he gave them, in full and unedited.

To me, that sounds fair. As a journalist and newspaper editor, I frequently let people have their say, everything they want to say, unedited and uncut - excepting I remove profanity and libelous items. You can point to letters to the editor (the electronic version being something most broadcast outlets refuse to allow) as an example of this and you are correct.

But I also do it in news stories. On very important issues and controversial issues, I will reprint entire transcriptions. I feel it is important enough for my audience to get the entire story right from the person who said it, without interference by me.

In this blog, I allow unfettered commentary the vast majority of the time. I moderated comments a while back when some idiot began posting to every blog about commercial hog farms. Same post. Every time. I was willing to let Mssr. Idiot have his say, but not the same exact words over and over and over and over.

Attack journalism at its finest.

At the same time, editing is important. Make no mistake, editing is sometimes vital. It keeps journalists out of court. See libel above.

Sometimes editing is needed. A good editing condenses the material without losing anything important. A good editing explains something more clearly than the source did.

Sometimes editing is interfering. If it is that important to the person doing the speaking or writing, I say let the person have their say and let it go.

Broadcast journalists refuse to do this by and large. If this is not arrogance, I do not know what is.

Because of this attitude there are very few broadcast outlets to which I will agree to an interview.

I have been interviewed by TV reporters many times. With a sole exception being Channel 51 in Cordele, more than 90 percent of the times I've been interviewed, the reporter took my comments and distorted them and wound up giving out factually wrong information. Channel 51 has never done this to me.

My ire with one station in particular reached such a boiling point that the station management banned me from being on TV. Yep. I am BANNED from appearing on one S. Georgia TV station's broadcasts.

I consider that to be a signal distinction and one of the highest honors I have ever been afforded.