The good therein

 Lessons learned today and thanks to lessons from the past, hey!, all is good.

The food bank crew borrowed my truck to use as part of a caravan to head out and bring back as much food as possible. Good enough,

I do state here I had misgivings. Perhaps it was God speaking to me. Perhaps it was general unease. Perhaps it was a combination of factors based on my years of experience in this thing we call life. I had a solid hunch my truck was not coming back all the way.

Yep.

They made it back. Without my truck.

I walked down to the FB, did not see my truck. I inquired as to where it was.

On the side of the road about 15 miles away. Transmission blew a seal.

They got back to the food bank, unloaded a truck and went back to get the trailer hooked to my truck. Or, they called someone to get that trailer and pull it in. Not clear on what exactly happened there. It does not matter.

I am clear that my truck was left on the side of a very rural road. I was not told about this either. This does not matter.

I had the foresight, this morning, to remove some of the items I had in it. The others I left, expecting to unload them this evening. What the items are, is irrelevant. 

A few years ago, I would have exploded. I'd have stormed off swearing. I'da left many hurt feelings in my considerable wake.

This time, I was upset. I did swear, but kept that to myself. I kept hoping someone would ask me about the truck so I could explain a few things. No one did, so I wound up volunteering some information.

That was a mistake. No one needed to know what I said. The information solved no problem. It did not establish any grounds for improving the future. 

As anxiety wore at me, I quit unloading stuff and called for a ride to get to my truck. A stop at the auto parts place. My emotions continued to roil and rule and as a result, I wound up buying a jug of antifreeze instead of transmission fluid.

I caught the mistake after an ounce or two went in. My ride returned to town to get actual transmission fluid. No worries, It leaked out fast enough. Also, I needed to top off the radiator anyway so it was also good.

I sat on the tailgate waiting for the return. Of all the people who passed me - the hood on the truck was up, a universal sign of vehicle distress - only one person stopped to help. He even pointed to his house just up the road and said if I needed help, come get him.

The world needs more people like that. I am trying to be that person.

I fiddled with my phone and thought on the lessons from the Stoics. Their words were already running through me. As we rode out to my waiting truck, I said several times, "There is good in this. I just have to find it." I meant that. I mean that. I will continue to believe it.

I staggered the truck back to the house. It will be collected in the morning by the repair shop.

I have learned some lessons and had some reinforced. To enumerate in no particular order-

• Getting PO'd solves little and often makes matters worse.
• What is done is in the past and cannot be changed.
• Learn from what happened and try to not let it happen again.
• Pay attention to that small, quiet voice that speaks to what may will happen.
• What you seek, you will absolutely find. Look for the good.

One lesson learned, not loaning my truck out any more except to a very select few people. Understand I do not fault anyone in the caravan. The transmission likely would have gone out even if I was driving. What makes the situation different is me and only me. I'da stayed with the truck until it was brought back, the owner contacted and he advised what to do or he arrived. This is me and no one else. I should not expect others to act as I do nor should I hold any ill will because they do not.

And, I do not. What happened is in the past. To move forward is what matters. 

That which cannot be avoided must be endured.

Likely the transmission is fried to a crisp. So be it. I am without a vehicle, uncertain how to pay for the transmission work and so forth. This is good. It has to be.

I shall find the good therein.

Success

How do you define success?

Lemme help you with that.

You are already as successful as you want to be.

Some of you will not like hearing that. Here are a few non-comprehensive reasons excuses you have for not liking hearing it -

I have not achieved the goals I set.

Ok. Are you working on them? Actively working. What do you do when you get home from work (assuming you work). Are you putting effort into achieving your goals? Or, are you flopping down on a chair and moaning about being exhausted?

Some goals require an investment of time. It takes a few years to get an advanced college degree, for instance. If you are devoting ALL the needed resources to getting that degree, then you are successful right now.

I need to unwind. 

Far be it from me to tell you the amount of leisure is needed in your life. But if you are serious about reaching a goal, the effort needed to get there IS the leisure you need. If not, then re-evaluate whether or not that goal is truly worth achieving.

I do not have the time.

How much time do you need? You have 24 hours in a day. How are you using those hours? Do this for the next 48 hours. Carry a small notebook. Every 15 minutes, jot down what you did in those 15 minutes. You may record time napping or sleeping as one block of time. Don't wake up to make the notes. At the end of 48 hours, see how much time you devoted to being successful.

I am being held back,

Yes, you are. By yourself. Here is an example. Got kids? That was 100% a choice, unless you were raped. Regardless, you opted to have the kids when you had other viable alternatives. If you chose to have and raise children and are doing so then you are a success because you are achieving the goal you set for yourself.

You are the only person holding you back. Actions have consequences. Every action you take has a consequence. When you act, you choose to do that. Therefore, that is a success and the consequences are your reward for that. If you say I never expected these consequences then you are still a success. You devoted exactly enough resources to carry out the action and achieve the success you now experience.

Whatever example excuse of being held back you chose to use, I can absolutely point to decisions you made and make that you claim are holding you back.

I never asked for this.

That may be. No one asks to be struck with various diseases. How you react to those problems defines your success. 

I just can't.

Then don't. A person in a wheelchair cannot play major league baseball. A person in a wheelchair may want to play major league baseball, but that is a choice the person made. Pursuing imaginary goals is also success because you know you can never do it and you are absolutely bound to fall short. When you fall short, you have achieved the true goal you set for yourself.

As JMSIII said,"You can have anything you want." The problem is what say you want is not what you truly want.

Where you are right now is success because this is what you have devoted all your resources toward achieving. Again, you may not like this. Reality does not care what you think.