The Gross National Debt

Monday, April 25, 2011

Yeah, well not really but still yes, but yanno I'm ranting. A bit

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We, that is the offspring and one-generation removed offspring and the mates of the offspring (well, maybe them not so much) are indeed glad that the matriarchal unit has relocated.

In less obfuscatory language, m'self, brother and our families are glad Mom is now living in Tifton. This means we all get to see her much more often. We spent most of Sunday at her house.

Whilst the chirrens played in the pool, Shag and I were visiting Elbonia, land of hip-deep mud and ankle-biting weasels. At least that's what it felt like.

To splain

We installed an outdoor shower.

This was partly done in case any of the grandkids suddenly re-develop an exhibitionist streak (Mom's house is adjacent to a golf course) and to allow anyone who's spent time in the pool to hose down. Mom has a saltwater pool. By hosing off under the outdoor shower, salt-treated swimmers can remove the salt.

That went perfectly.

I am not kidding.

However (and you KNEW there was gonna be one) to install the shower, the water had to be cut off.

Again, that went perfectly.

Turning the water back on also went perfectly.

Neener, neener, neener.

We repeated this several times. Flawlessly.

But in the midst of the work, we found a pipe in the yard which was leaking. This is generally not a problem as I have repaired MANY busted pipes in my lifetime.

This particular leak was connected to a Rube Goldberg system of elbow, joints, and a series of water valves which served no purpose I could determine, other than to provide a plumber with additional revenue.

The leak was in a joint which had not been properly glued, hence the leak.
Yep. It was that tight.

We had about as much space to work in as your dentist does when he is removing your wisdom teeth.

It was about that pleasant too.

After three trips to the hardware store for pipe, each time buying fewer and fewer pieces, we finally cut the #$%^&* line and capped it. That way Mom would have water for in the house but not in the yard sprinkler system, that apparently being what the valves and infinite loop mobius strip network of pipes were for.

Then we went BACK to the outdoor shower, intending to hose the mud off and FINALLY after 4 hours of work, jump in the pool/

No water.

The genius who installed the sprinkler system also hooked the lines at the back of the house to the same network.

At 6:30 p.m., we jumped in the pool anyway. It has a vacuum system.

Going back today to reconnect the lines. If you can lend a hand, lemme know. Mom will buy supper.

2 comments:

  1. Genius, my man, do you know about a fitting called a union? No, not the kind that ruin businesses with impossible wage and benefit demands...the kind you repair a section of leaky pipe with. You uncover the line either side of the leak to whatever extent necessary to remove the offending fitting, cut out the whole section (yes, valve array and all), and install the unions on the ends of the cuts. Since they screw together and seal with O-rings, you don't have to worry too much with how to bend a short piece enough to get it in a fitting in a small area.
    Once you have repaired the leaky parts in the removed section while its out of the ground, and installed the unions on the ends of the cuts, you just drop the whole thing back in the hole and thread the unions together. If they ever leak, you just replace the O-ring. Is sweet like candy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Working space and available terminal pipe ends as of the cap, a quarter inch. Expect I will cut everything out and replumb it with straight lines instead of the labayrinth in place. Will look at unions.

    ReplyDelete

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