An actual, real, no-kidding, genuine column about writing. Except not really

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and it was. I was there and I saw it.

.Aaight. This is a column about writing, but don't expect any "writing" advice beyond this-

Shuddup. Go write.

Wisdom dispensed.

Not long ago Paul and Sabrina (who have appeared in this space previously and left a HUGE mess for me to clean up. No wait, sorry, that was the cat) penned a piece about the numerous MS rejections they've received from publishing houses and agents.

Paul opined that he wished they'd provide some advice. He said he'd also be willing to pay actual cash, real money, dinero, moola, you get the idea if the rejecting person would only provide SOME meaningful feedback, even a paragraph. http://writeryourbabyisugly.blogspot.com/2011/07/i-love-twitter.html

In the comments section, I did post (and it has vanished for some reason) I did not agree. I said such people who'd charge for that kinda thing deserved unpleasant things.

A better option no doubt.

Not long afterward, Paul asked me to edit a MS he and Sabrina are writing. Nonwithstanding the bills Paul and exwife No. 1 left when they weekend highballed out of the house we shared in college (I forgive you Paul), I agreed to edit the MS.

There's just some things you do for friends. Paul is one such. Sabrina, I hope, will become one. I really really want to list the other people here whom I'd call at 2 a.m. and the first words out of their mouth will be "Do I need to bring you a shovel too" but I know I'll leave someone out. But, these people know who they are. If you're not in the list, then you don't need to know who they are.

Damn. I do tend to ramble don't I?

Shuddup. No comments from the peanut gallery needed. Go write. But finish reading this first.

I have now edited the MS. I have learned a few things about horses. I also hoped I improved their MS. Whether I did or not remains to be seen. Judging from the language included in reply emails from P&S, I did improve the MS according to them. Writers don't use language like that about the editing of their work unless it's a good edit. If it's a bad edit, the language is directed at the editor.

If the truth hurts, I'm probably telling it to someone.

It took me hours. A lot. I don't begrudge the work.

Understand I could read a novel of the size they wrote in an evening. But that's reading.

I still do not begrudge the effort.

Canya bleed for me baby?

I was editing. I was looking at each single word, instead of speed reading. I was comparing, contrasting, evaluating and looking at the whole as well as the individual parts and seeing if everything added up to what it was supposed to be.

Did it add up? Not gonna tell you. Is not my place to. Such editing is a private affair between editor and author unless the author chooses to text risque photos about the process so that tabloids can hack the account and publish the lurid details.

What I will tell you is: I have about-face my opinion on editors-for-hire and paying for advice on a MS. Sort of.

I have long believed that editors are needed. I said that before I became one. As an editor, I still need someone to edit my work.

I has 3 typewriters. They work too.

I also believe that editors at publishing houses are needed. They also need to get paid for their work. Always have had that opinion.

My change came about for freelance editing, which is what I did for P&S. Previously, I felt such people were little more than parasites, a step or two above lawyers.

Now, having invested 24 or so hours in editing S&P's (Sabrina, you get first billing too) work, I disagree.

Such editors deserved to be paid. The trick is finding an editor who is worth the pay.

You can, like P&S get non-writer friends to edit the piece. They will likely tell you "I liked it" and not much else. Chances are beyond high that you are not going to get substantive feedback from them. It is not completely useless. It can serve as a bad example. I have plenty of bad examples of that kind. Even from fellow writers.

I deliver

You need substance in your feedback. That can be, as Paul suggested, as little as a paragraph or as much as my edit which took the MS down to individual words and punctuation all the way up to a detailed examination of crucial and critical character developments across the MS.

That kind of feedback deserves pay. It really does. If you expect to get paid for your manuscript, then why do you expect someone to edit it for free? Editors don't get free bread at the grocery store because they are editors. Good editors get paid because their work is worth hard, cold cash. It's just as hard to be a good editor as it is to be a good writer. Both deserve compensation for their work.

Ya gets what ya pays for.

If you paid attention the kind of attention to this which you give to American Idol (which you haven't) you now ask did I edit S&P's MS for free? Until I posed that question for you, I imagine you believed I edited the MS for free. Now you doubt that.

Yep. One of those (the Lahti 20mm) will do nicely.

I did not do it for free. They have the unenviable task of taking apart and reassembling one of my MS. Paul's suggestion. I intended to edit the MS for free. But since Paul offered, I jumped at it. That's how I'm getting paid. After the fact, but still getting it.

I expect them to bleed on the MS. I expect to get the MS back and use language that hard boils the eggs while they sit in the fridge. I expect them to be merciless. Prisoners, to malaprop an aphorism, should be shoved into a cannon and fired back from whence they came.

If they come back with hollow praise and a simple "I liked it" the next MS they ask me to edit is going to require compensation. I'm just simply not willing to invest that kinda effort without something substantial in return.

And generally worth every penny.

I do edit, free, short pieces for friends who are in some writer associations I belong to. But that kinda work can be done quickly and provides a needed break for me from my own wordsmithing.

You want me to edit your MS? Whacha gonna pay me? It doesn't have to be cash, but it has to be valuable to me. And in case you're wondering, I already have one of 'em's phone number. And, I interviewed her. Neener, neener, neener.

So's you know, I won't read poetry unless forced to at nuclear weaponpoint (or I'm being held prisoner by a Vogon and my esophagus won't strangle me), don't like to read romance and don't understand westerns.

What would I consider just compensation? Run something past me. I'll tell you what I think.

In case you missed it the first time.