This is a repeat of a column from a few years ago. I bring it up again because one animal has moved from the To Be Eaten list to the Eaten list and a few people have asked about the kinds of critters I've chomped over the years.
I've also added a bit from the original, cause I found something else I needed to say.
|Meat makes bigger brains.|
If you have any animal rights activists in your friends list, please point 'em here. I'm running short of hate mail here recently.
Anyway today's observationins is about the word eat. Add an M to the front and what do you get? Meat. I'm not knocking vegetarians of whatever stripe they are so long as they are knocking my decision to attempt to inhale a double cheeseburger, sometimes one through each nostril at the same time.
You have a right to eat what you want just as I do.
I don't recall ever making a formal list of the kinds of meat I've eaten. Occasionally I have made a list as part of a conversation, but that was as ephemeral as the wind which carried it. Not that this medium is a lot more permanent.
Once I started making this list, I was surprised at the variety of critters I've applied molars, incisors and canines to. Anyway, the various animals which have crossed my plate are:
|Killdeer, sometimes known as a Geoghagan Dove|
Some other ducks, species of which I can't remember
Turkey - wild and domestic
In looking at this list I'm surprised at the length. Rather short, considering the available birds out there. Then I must admit the majority of people reading this have eaten only chicken and turkey, if that. Why? What's wrong with duck? dove? quail? For that matter, if you can eat a dove, why can't you eat a robin, blackbird, or a crow?
|Original cartoon from A Dog Named Nekkid|
Squirrel, gray and fox
Rabbit, cottontail and swamp
Again, the shortness surprises me. Then I ran down the list of small mammals which are native to the South. Exotics and imports are not figured in here. I exclude tiny mamamals - bats, rats, mice, moles, etc - and domesticated pets cats and dogs. That said, the uneaten list is not much longer than the eaten list. Armadillo, oppossum, mink, otter, fox, bobcat. What am I missing? Ferrets? Not part of the South.
Hog - wild and domestic
Leaving anything out which is native to the South? Aside from humans, I can't think of any except the cougar. Given the chance, I will eat cougar, but if I never get to, that's OK.
|Lurch, a Watusi, not a longhorn. But still a cow|
Domestic cattle - cow, steer and bull
Moose - possibly, if so I was very small at the time, but it is highly likely
Leaving any out native to the South? Can't think of any. The cow is not native to the South, but I include it.
Now look back over the mammalian list. How many have you eaten v. what is available to eat? Limit yourself to what is native to the United States (excepting the small ones). I can only come up with a few more - lynx, weasel, another member of the weasel family from up north, wolves (several species), coyotes, javelina, jaguar and jaguarundi.
More to the point, how many mammals are even available whether or not you are willing to eat them? The number is awfully short, at least from the way I look at it.
|Slimehead AKA orange roughy|
Mullet, including both kinds of roe
Spotted weakfish (Speckled trout)
Several other sharks, lumped into non-existence category "Sand Shark"
Grouper, gag mostly, but some others. Species undertain.
|Pink mouth grunt|
Hardhead catfish (not sailcat)
Herring (which includes sardine and anchovy)
Striper (also a freshwater fish, but this one was caught in brackish water)
Salmon - unsure of exact species. Canned, fresh and smoked
|Dolphin or Mahi Mahi|
Orange roughy - actual name Slimehead
Dolphin (no, not Flipper) aka Mahi Mahi
Oddly enough, I have never eat a sailcat
NOT FISH BUT AQUATIC
Mussels (fresh and salt)
|Nuf said, eh?|
Blue crab, including softshell
Shrimp, various species
Barnacle (yes I did too!)
Lions paw clam
Whatever kinda clam is served on seafood buffets in the South
Octopus, not sure of species, probably several
Squid, several different species
Brown bullhead (speckled cat)
|A big bull bluegill|
Crappie (various regional names)
Eel (also a saltwater fish)
Chain pickerel (jack)
Caviar - Ok technically NOT a fish, but I had it, sturgeon caviar and it was horrible.
|Seriously fine eating.|
Rattlesnake - diamond back and canebrake, which some people say are the same species.
Ants - dipped in chocolate
And of course being a South Georgian, I have accidentally consumed untold number of gnats. It's something you cannot help. It just happens. If you ever visit South Georgia and step outside in the summer for than 2 minutes, you too will ingest a gnat accidentally.
Various other bugs. Can't be helped. It was not intentional, but if you eat canned food, eventually you're going to eat some bugs and bug parts.
Before I launch this next list lemme point out this is strictly a wish list and I have NO DESIRE to contribute to the loss of some endangered critters just to satisfy my appetite, so some of the critters I will never get to eat. On my TO EAT list are:
|A musk ox would also look good on the wall.|
Thompsons Gazelle (See here! My name's Thompson and that's my gazelle!)
Wildebeest (the buffet animal of the African Plains)
|Barbirusa. NOT photoshopped and the hog I absolutely MOST want to kill|
Seal - various species
Crocodile - all species
Sea Turtle - all species
Alligator snapper turtle
Gopher - reptilian and mammalian
Crow - I'm told the bird is quite tasty when grilled
Animals I hope I NEVER have to eat
|Gotta support that habit...|