Where's Einstein when I need him? Oh yeah, dead.

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There are times when I truly wish I had much better grasp of mathematics than I do. In case you're not wondering, Dad was a Georgia Tech structural engineering graduate and one of the 5 smartest people I've ever met. I met Dr. Edward Teller if that tells you anything.

There's a point in here, but I need to say a few things first. Feel free to skip to the header below.

And so when I was but a junior in high school, the PHS Class of '85 (GO EAGLES!) was given a series of aptitude tests. I scored out at a 6th grade level in math.

Dad was beyond aghast. Mom, who developed an ulcer learning calculus without Dad's help to spite him, 'cause he said she'd never learn it, was much more understanding.

Mom and I have a development condition called Dyscalculia. Mine is a lot worse than hers and fortunately, my children did not inherit this. Mine is so bad I have problems dialing phone numbers, really. Ask the crew at the office. Most of the time they have to punch in the fax numbers for me.

RESUME READING HERE

So when I get my monthly edition of Popular Science, I sit down to read with much anticipation, delight and more than a little trepidation. This month's edition was one of those where I was really apprehensive. The main feature store is on Dark.

SCIENCE!

Not as in the absence of light, but Dark Matter, Dark Energy and as one of the scientist types hypothesized, Dark Life.

The problem with Einstein's model of the universe and everyone else's is that when they explain all the matter which can be seen and accounted for, it's not enough. Yeah, brain sprainer. There's just not enough to account for the universe continuing to expand, rotation of the various galaxies and so forth.

Brief rant. So, what did science do? This is what is hilarious to me. They made up something to make the equations fit. I note when the non scientific community "makes up something" to explain anything, they are ridiculed. Science does it and it becomes sacred. Rant off.

The Pop Sci article tries to bring down the idea of dark matter into terms the readers of the magazine can understand. In other words, they dumb it down.

This bothers me. As something is always lost in translation, any time you try and reduce a very complicated subject to a less complex level, something is lost. As I read this article on the Dark Side (interpret however you wish, you're just as correct as the "scientists"), I wondered constantly what we readers were missing. How much was left out? How much was distorted? What couldn't be reduced to English?

Throwing yet ANOTHER mental monkey wrench into this story is the statement toward the end.

If you add all the Dark which scientists, leaning on faith say exists (do not ridicule them!) with all the Light (matter and energy we can see), it only accounts for about a third of the sum total of Everything.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Well, OK. So what this means is Science (note capital S) is going to have to make up EVEN MORE stuff. I will continue to read dumbed down versions and wonder what's missing.

Hey! A thought just struck me. I can be like a scientist too! I'll just make up stuff to explain what I don't understand and whatever is left out of their explanations. It works for them, it'll work for me and I get to be a scientist!

Yanno, I'm now thinking this science stuff rocks and despite my inability to read a string of numbers longer than four digits. I too can be scientist. Correction, I am a scientist. Now I just need to put a bunch of gibberish down and join the secret scientific cabal so the rest will secretly approve of my work why publicly supporting it and tearing it apart.