Can I get a witness?

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Jon rolled up to the newspaper that day in a Jaguar.

It was used. He told me what he paid and I was more than surprised. Even in my improverished condition, I could have afforded it.

Not this jaguar, the car. But can you imagine how cool it would be 

to drive one of these?

Doesn't matter, he said. It's a Jag. That's what matters.

Jon Dize, my friend out in Nevada, worked for NASA, National Geographic and ran the premiere photo studio in Las Vegas at the time. Most of the the time he drove a US car or a truck, I forget which. It was not a real new car/truck either.

He told he bought the Jag to make an impression. He explained when he'd go to a location to do a photo shoot, he drove the Jag. When he pulled up, the people say the car and automatically assumed he was a very successful photographer (which he was). By driving the Jag - never mind the cost because he never told his customers what he paid for it - he was able to jack his photography rates up a good bit.

Line graph chart that probably has something to do with this column.

People, he explained to me, are willing to pay a premium for what they perceive as the best. The actual quality matters less than the perception, he said.

Can I get a witness?

'Nother story.

He showed up at the church driving a Mercedes or a Beamer, I forget which. Regardless it was a $60K vehicle.

He musta heard someone muttering about it because in one of his sermons, he mentioned it.

"The car? Someone gave it to me," he said.

Pass the buck this way, why doncha?

A short while later he was asking for money to support his "ministry."

He didn't get any from me. Won't either.

I did not ask him, and feel free to heap derision and scorn on me for failing to do so: Why don't you sell the car, get something economical and use the money from the sale to support your ministry?

Yeah. I wussed out. Can't say it won't happen again, but I can say I have not listened to that man speak since then.

Saying so little in so much. She's an evangelist!

The next "prosperity minister" I come across, I hope I have enough guts to pin him down and ask the kinda questions which so endear me to the churches in my community these days. (and dammit, the internet NEEDS a sarcasm font doncha know!)

Can I get a witness?

I wanna ask him - If I give you X amount of money, are you gonna visit me when I'm sick? Counsel me when I'm depressed? Bring me food if the cupboard is bare? Help me pay my bills if I'm short some month?

"No," is what he will reply, at least that's the reply when I get done cutting out the verbal diarrhea. He'll fancy it up and quote the Bible and give me all kinds of examples which I can't verify. He won't say no, of course. Can't have that. He'll instead say "God will bless you" along with all the other rhetoric.

If you feel the need to fiscally contribute to the Kingdom of God, then give to a local church, a church that helps people who lose their homes, their jobs, need counseling and in general does the kind of ministry Jesus told us to do. Better yet, do all that yourself.

Arg. Rant off. Got derailed because I read Brutal Antipathy's long overdue blog piece from this weekend.

Follow the dead fish!

Anyway, the simple truth is - Perceptions matter. If people think you are a winner or very successful, they see you as someone they want to associate with. They hope to ride the coattails of your success. They seek to participate in your triumphs.

Can I get a witness?

Another way of looking at this - Winners breed hope.  Where hope abounds, people will be in ever increasing numbers.

That's why prosperity ministers must dress in thousand dollar suits, drive a Beamer and have a Rolex. That's why Jon drove a Jag.

Of course you don't HAVE to "dress for success" but if you don't you have REALLY got to be charismatic. If you are charismatic AND "dress for success" the world will beat you down trying to build you up.

Can I get a witness?

Myself, I'd rather consider people in the light of how well they use what they have. I don't always do this, but I should.

Sorry. Sometimes I can be a lemming.

Considering people in the light of how well they use absolutely levels the playing field.

Absolutely.


It takes false perceptions completely out of the picture. It makes you consider quality as well as the quantity and forget about the thousand dollar suit behind the wheel of the Jag.

All that said, consider me however you want to consider me. I'm not here to impress you, but I am here to try and impart what I see as the truth to you. What you do with that truth is entirely up to you.

I don't need a witness.