The greatest athlete

This is an odd topic for me. I don't care about professional sports and care little about sports in general, but I'm stilling writing this one.

Pick the greatest human athlete ever. Who is your pick? Why?

Before I tell you my pick, which will surprise you, let's look at what makes a great athlete.

Stamina - Got to be able to go the distance and then some. Overtime matters.

Talent - Well, yeah. Gotta have that in extremely large amounts.

Dedication - Frankly dedication will cover gaps in talent to get an athlete to certain places, but without talent, the athlete will never rise to the very top.

Coaching - Yep. Gotta have a good coach. Been covering high school sports now for nearly 30 years. Coaches matter. I rank coaches as important as talent. All the talent in the world won't get you anywhere if you don't know how to use it. At the same time, a truly great coach can develop innate talent to the full extent.

Intellect - Don't have to be a rocket scientist, but an average IQ? Maybe. But the top athlete must have a very high "sports IQ" or he's not going to get far.

Size - Size matters. But what matters more are the above items. Of course the top echelon can't be missing one meal from starvation nor can they be the size of a mountain.

Determination - I see this as different from dedication. Determination is the willingness to sacrifice. Dedication is the willingness to practice.

Physical ability - By this I mean able to get knocked down, get up and keep going and deliver punishment in return.

Camaraderie - A truly top athlete has to know he's not getting there by himself. He's part of a team effort.

Coordination - Well, yeah, but it's important below, so I list it.

Probably more need to be listed, but that's as far as I'm taking this.

Lemme give you one criteria that is not reflected above - the ability to perform well in other sports.

So my top pick?

Wayne Greztsky. He is the greatest pro hockey player the world has ever seen.

Why? Look at hockey.

It combines heavy physical activity and impacts (football, wrestling, rugby).

It combines endurance and stamina (running sports, basketball, lacrosse).

It has hand-eye coordination (baseball, basketball).

It has strength and physical agility. It's done on ice with skates!

As for the other qualifiers, anyone who says Greztsky doesn't have those in abundance does not know much about the man.

In the world of sports, very few have managed to cross from one to another and be a success. Many have tried. Babe Ruth was great at baseball and wrestling. Basketball? I seriously doubt it.

If you took Greztsky from hockey and moved him to another sport, I believe he could adapt and be one of the few who could cross over and be very good. I also say he could move to yet a third sport and be very good. A fourth? Yes.

There is no other sport that combines and demands as much from an athlete as pro hockey. Remember, Hockey has no regular breaks in the action like so many other sports. Yes, it has stopped for penalties and timeouts, but so do other sports. 

Basketball is nonstop action, but basketball does not see players body-checked nearly as hard as hockey.  The physical violence in hockey is on par with pro football. The necessary stamina is on the same level as marathon runners.

Ok. Argument started. Gimme your pick and the reasons!

Jack & rack

It's not universal, but a lot of people say the best weapon for home defense is a shotgun. Of those who agree, most say a pump shotgun is best.

I'm in that crowd for non-lethal reasons.

You read that correctly. Non. Lethal. As in no one dies.

Before I go any further, I ask how many of you who poo-poo the idea or say I've lost mind have killed another human being?

Ah.

How many of you have been involved in an actual gunfight?

Ah.

How many of you have had to use a gun, whether fired or not, in self defense?

Ah.

Could you kill someone? How would it affect you? It is seriously NOT easy to get over forcing someone to take a dirt nap.

This is why I say non lethal, even with a shotgun.

Listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2Gz-A-XO8w

Jack & rack. That sound is not something you hear in nature. So far as I know, it's a found made by only one device, a pump shotgun being cycled.

A burglar breaks into your house. He hears that. He either has a fecal hemorrhage or keeps coming. If he needs to change his pants, then you have eliminated the threat, no shots fired. If you hear screams, you yell instructions, based on what you hear.

You might be drawing on a family member. Think about that.

If he keeps coming and you hear nothing, you know you are committed to killing someone.

You shoot to kill. Anyone who hears that sound and keeps coming is not there for good reasons. They intend harm.

You shoot to kill. Dead people cannot shoot back.

You shoot to kill. Dead people cannot testify in court.


While I'm here, I also suggest the Mossberg 500 series or the Remington 870 series as the best choice for home defense. The 20 gauge is ideal. My HD is a Mossberg 500 (and I truly believe having this gun is what kept me and my family from being killed 2.5 years ago) in 12 gauge. It doubles as a hunting and sporting shotgun. It's responsible for my only deer kill with a shotgun. Susan prefers it to her own Browning pump for shooting skeet.

Circle the women and protect the wagons! We're being invaded!

Blame today's missive on a recent post by me bud Paul.

I'm terrified of the growing trend of ideological isolationism, and yet swamped with the same urge to protect myself from the constant effluent tide of ignorant ejaculations from so many.

“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

― George Carlin

Very sad...

Very sad indeed. Terrifying at the same time.

Thanks to the Internet, and social media in particular, the human race is now more isolated than it has been in centuries.

Someone will decry this and say "I have friends all over the planet!"

Your friends list is composed of carbon copies of you. Skin tones may differ. Joggerfee will definitely differ. What you drive, what you eat and other things will differ. But when it comes to the fundaments, yeah, carbon copy. You have the same weltanschauung.

You disagree? And what are their views on the world, macro and micro. Do they ever vehemently disagree with you? Do they ever say things that make you want to swear and throw things? (A few of my friends are now pointing at me and nodding. Back atcha.)

How many people have you dropped and blocked? Why?

Ahhhhhhhh. You punt people out of your online life because you won't tolerate their views. They are idiots and should be purged. Sign them up for a Darwin Awards challenge!

How many people have blocked you for the same reasons?

Way to be diverse. Way to be open. Way to expand your horizons and your mind. Didja feel the sarcasm?

You are entitled to ask who I've blocked and why.

I block people who attack other people in the threads on my pages. No ad hominem. Shred the argument, I love it. Make me think. I tolerate attacks on me more than other folks in my threads. Attack me too many times, you're gone.

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." - Attributed without cause to Eleanor Roosevelt.

I block people who won't control their language. Profanity has a place and time. Yes, some research shows that people who swear are creative and have a bigger vocabulary than those who do not swear. Eviscerating animals as part of the butchering process has a place and time too.

Know also, I have blocked one person, after a lot of long and deep thought. This is someone I know personally and have known for many years. This person is no longer welcome in my real life either. I do not share the reasons, but will say this was not a step I took lightly. I'm not interested in hosting a human parasite.

My online friends (and real life) list contains people who are diametrically opposed to my core values. They make me think. I make them think. We learn from each other. I cherish them.

"I never learned from a man who agreed with me." - Robert A. Heinlein

GIMME WHAT I KNOW

Google "travel broadens" and look at the results you get. All of them point to an expansion of the cerebral organ. (Travel broadens the mind.)

Most of the people I know love to physically visit new places. See new people. Experience new food. See new things. Do new stuff. Come back with tales of adventure and wonder and delight. Yes, a few folks I know prefer to never physically leave their caves. I don't get this. It's been explained to me and I still don't get it.

At the same time, too many of these people who love to go off and different places also hate the idea.

They look for the familiar. They demand it. If they don't get it, they get bent.

Steve Martin once quipped, "You never appreciate your language until you go to a foreign country that doesn't have the courtesy to speak English."

And then, there are the complainers who find them furrin parts is just a bit too furrin.

Too many people treat social media the exact same way. Gotta have the familiar. Gotta have the known. Got to have what we know, what we like and what we're comfortable with. Anything else, nope, nope, nope. Can't be having with stuff that challenges the belief structure.

Isolate yourself if you wish. Stay in your cave. Eliminate people who challenge you. Only associate with people who agree with you.

Stagnate.

MIND FOOD

Circle up and prepare your defenses because who knows what those fast-moving riders will do when they get here. They might rape the wagons, pillage the women and burn the sheep.

Gear grinding in 3... 2 ... 1-

The cartoon genius Gary Larson was once described as "anchovy pizza for the mind." How apt.

I'm looking for a place that serves deep-fried anchovy-jalopena-durian. Who's with me?

Ah, there's the clutch!

Those riders coming in fast? I'm gonna go out there and see what they want. Might learn something. Might get killed. I just know that my life is going to be a lot richer than yours because I'm trying to experience that which is truly new to me. They might have deep-fried anchovy-jalopena-durian gyros. 

Slammin'

Dunno where the idea of a "slam" originated when it means to achieve a goal. Not gonna look it up either, but I suspect in baseball with a grand slam homer.

Regardless, a slam has expanded. It's now part of the hunting world. There are various kinds of slams. A Grand Slam is getting all of the major variants of a single species of critter.  Some say it has to be done in a single season. I don't. I think if you get at least one of each of the subspecies, then you have a grand slam.

This guy almost got a grand slam. I say almost because he's missing one. This one.

I don't intend to try to beat his accomplishment. I have my own slam in mind - a weapons slam. It's my goal to put meat on the table with one of every major class of weapon. What kind of meat is not important. What is important is the weapons used.

Today, I realized much to my chagrin, I am 4 short of a Grand Slam, not 3.

Lemme run down the accomplishment list and the 3 I previously thought as the only missing weapons. See if you can figure out the one I skipped.

Hands - I have put meat on the table after dispatching the main course with my bare hands.

Knife - Sometimes, ya can't use a gun and supper is too big to take out with with bare hands unless you are Bruce Lee.

Air gun - Yep. Poppped squirrel and rabbits for the pot with a pellet rifle. First rabbit I ever killed. Was sitting on the tractor in the middle of the road. Saw a rabbit in the field. Took him out. Greatly surprised Dad.

Handgun - Rabbits, turtles, hogs, deer, coon. Rimfire and centerfire.

Shotgun - Well, yeah. I gotta shotgun, rifle and a four wheel drive and this country boy can survive. Birdshot, buckshot and slugs.

Rifle - Longest confirmed kill, 130 yards. The 8 point is on the wall and I am looking at him as I type. Kills with rimfire and centerfire. Largest animal I ever killed, 1,500 pounds, dropped in tracks with a single shot from a .22 rimfire.

Muzzleloader - Popped a hog with a .45 cap & ball. Wounded it. Finished it with a shotgun. Does that count? OK, then the deer I dropped in his tracks with a frontstuffer will count. As does the buffalo.

Bow - I am one of the few hunters to kill more than one rattlesnake with a bow & arrow and then eat the snakes.

Vehicle - Not a weapon you say? Ok. Not a weapon. Still, I have clobbered various and sundry critters and picked up a few of them for supper.

What 3 did I need before I remembered the 4th? I give you a hint on the 4th. Pneumatic.

Sling - I'm good with a hand spun sling or a rubber-banded slingshot to meet this category. Expect this to be a rabbit or squirrel. YMMV. I am looking at a Whisker Biscuit on a stout slingshot. Shoot an arrow instead of a pellet.

Spear - Hog is #1 on the agenda followed by deer, maybe a gator. If necessary, a big bullfrog. Frog legs are quite tasty. Maybe a fish, flounder, salmon, stingray. Lots of options here.

Sword - Pretty self explanatory. Most likely this will be a hog kill. As I am not into cannibalism, my daughter's ex boyfriends are safe, at least from being turned into BBQ.

Someone is going to say "crossbow." That's just a bow mounted to a gun stock. Got my gun and bow kills. My list, my rules. YMMV.

An atlatl is just a supercharged spear.

Got it yet? It is used for hunting.

As it happens, I do have this weapon around here (somewhere). It is lethal. It is regulated in some places. It is the easiest to make (except for fire-hardened wood tip spear) and very likely the hardest to make a kill with. Hands are not made, so they don't count.

Another hint - whoosh. One more hint:



Got it yet?

The 4th weapon I need to use to achieve a weapons grand slam is - a blowgun. Bonus points to you if you figure out the three clues. If you can't message me. This kill will be a bird, frog or squirrel most likely.

A Super Grand Slam is you make all the weapons and then kill something with 'em. I'd love to do that, but don't have the megabucks to invest in boring and rifling barrels from blank stock for a handgun, shotgun, a rifle and a muzzleloader.

ADDENDUM

29 Nov. 2016

Driving around town today I realized I goofed again. I am just 3 short of a weapons grand slam. I've taken food critters with a spear. Speared fish in a pond.

So just need 3 more.

Tales from the Bananananna - some questions for y'all

Just took a survey at YouGov about school busses. Some interesting questions. So now, I ask you.

What can we do to make busses safer?

We have a disco worth of lights that go off when we flip switches to stop to collect or drop kids off.  People still zoom past. We have digital video cameras. But getting oncoming traffic car tags in the morning before the sun is up is next to impossible. Passing from behind, gottem nailed.

Would you like a tracking system? Log on to a website and see where the bus is on the route. GPS tracking.

Would you like live video from the bus?

Should a parent be standing outside before any child 3rd grade (or you pick the age) or younger is dropped off?

Would you like an automatic text message system telling parents if the bus is running late?

How long should a child be on the bus? Bear in mind in some very large rural counties, it may take 30+ minutes of straight driving to get from house to school.

Now how would you pay for all this without taking resources away from educating the chitlins?

Riding a bus today is far different from when I did it. Kids today do things that would have gotten me in SO much trouble years ago. Parents today just ignore it or say their child didn't do it. Show the video, they still say their child didn't do it. How would you handle this?

They are coming

As Rebel recently posted, "Your opinion is invalid or REALITY CHECK!"

Time for a reality check.

For those of you who have problems separating fact from opinion, I have neatly broken this post into sections.

FACT - This is reality. The world in which we live. This is what happens, whether you, I or the clown behind you who just ducked around the corner so you can't see him, like it. You may deny it. Reality is under no obligation to conform itself to your expectations.

OPINION - This is what I think about it. It is based on a fact, but of itself, it is not a fact. Your opinion may differ. I support your right to your opinion. I do not have to agree with your opinion to support your right to have it.

THE OPENING PARAGRAPH/POST - May or may not be fact or opinion. It starts the discussion. In this case, one onus is on me to prove it is fact. Another onus is on you to prove it is opinion.

Saddle up, Pancho. WE RIDE!

OP: Some of them are coming to take our guns. 

FACT: This is public, government-funded housing in Birmingham. That means everyone has an equal right of opportunity and access. Yes, this kind of housing does have income limits and a few other restrictions. This agency cannot infringe on the Constitutional rights of the residents. The Rules.

OPINION: Fair enough. If you can afford a house on the open market, live there and let someone who can't, have the public housing.

FACT: "The Second Amendment protects an individual right to possess a firearm unconnected with service in a militia, and to use that arm for traditionally lawful purposes, such as self-defense within the home." Heller v. DC.

OPINION: A 20 gauge pump action shotgun is the best weapon for home defense.

FACT: People who live in public housing sometimes have their HOME in that housing unit.

OPINION: Home is where the heart is. A building can be a house. A tent can be a home.

FACT: Government has restricted gun ownership repeatedly. The 1934 Firearms Act required a special tax to own a certain category of firearms. The 1968 gun control act added more restrictions. Even more restrictions were signed into law by Ronald Reagan. The "assault weapon" ban did expire, but it was the law of the land. Efforts to renew this ban have repeated cropped up. Bans and restrictions are in place in a number of states.

OPINION: A mountain is not moved in a single day. Over the course of years, it can be flattened. Incremental advances are still advances.

FACT: Government has taken guns away in the past. "The local police superintendent ordered all weapons, including legally registered firearms, confiscated from civilians. But as theTimes noted, that order didn't "apply to hundreds of security guards hired by businesses and some wealthy individuals to protect property…[who] openly carry M-16's and other assault rifles." Mother Jones. Connecticut.

OPINION: An isolated incident? A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

FACT: Yes, Virginia, there are people who really do want to take away guns, all of them. The Daily Beast. Salon. Petitions. An actual bill presented in Congress.

OPINION: These people don't truly understand what they are trying to do.

FACT: Many bills are introduced in Congress. Few ever get traction to get anywhere.

OPINION: Persistence pays.

FACT: You have the empirical evidence. You may treat this as you wish.

OPINION: Martin Niemöller.

Hate on your terms only

Lemme make this clear up front.

I am privileged, but not in the way you happen to be thinking right now. I am privileged because of my chosen vocation. My industry is the ONLY one mentioned in the US Constitution. My business is the ONLY one afforded protections under the Constitution. My chosen way of making a living has stood up more times than I can count to legal challenges from every direction.

Yes. I am privileged. As a professional wordsmith (or as Rebel calls it, a language prostitute. I write you long time), I am privileged. I can write what I want. No one can legally force me to write anything. You come to me and want me to write vows for your marriage? I can tell you to get stuffed, if I want to. You have to accept that. Have to. Want me to write anything for you? I can tell you to fold your writing request and insert it in my choice of your body orifice. You must accept this. Must.

I can refuse to write for any reason at all. There are only a very few other professions that have similar guarantees, but none are ensconced in the Constitution.

This makes me sad.

As a professional writer, I have protections so many other people in business do not have. I think these rights and privileges I enjoy should be greatly extended to bakers, shoemakers, computer repair shops, furniture stores, grocery stores, day care centers, roof contractors and so forth.

Ok, THAT outta the way, here's the grindstone and ax du jour.

THIS AIN'T NO DAMNED CAKE

Redlining.

Redlining as an official government policy is now illegal. As it should be. Government should be equal access to everybody. Government is not private business.

However, redlining still exists. Traditionally it is applied to mortgages. In the Detroit area, it still applies to home loans. It's just not government policy. It is a business decision.

Redlining in a broader sense is, well, broader.

As this story notes, redlining even extends to WHERE people will set up a business.

Whacha gonna do? Gonna sue the mortgage companies? Gonna sue the business owner for NOT putting his operation in a certain neighborhood? Hello?

RALLY THE MOB BOYS! WE RIOT!

Gonna sharpen the torches and light the pitchforks 'cause a baker says no! When the business owner won't even open a business... When a mortgage company redlines a neighborhood...

"Well, that's a business decision," you say.

So is baking or not baking a cake.

"But being gay is not a choice," you say.

Who said anything about being gay or not? We're talking business decisions.

Lemme juuuuuust point out mortgage lenders have reams of regulations they must follow. Bakers have a notebook.

HATERS GONNA CHOOSE

But to the point, is it ok to hate because of choice?

"People should be held accountable for the choices they make," you say.

HUZZAH! Now, we agree.

Is it OK to force someone to do something they are opposed to?

"Yes, if they refuse–"

Careful there! Loose your grip, Damocles, and your head comes off. And, uh, don't bring up "gay" again, m'Kay, 'cause that's a dead issue for me. Peoples is peoples and what two (or more) consenting adults do to and with each other ain't none yo bidnez and ain't none my bidnez.

"Well if you'd let me finish. Yes, if they refuse to serve someone because of their race or religion or gender, that's wrong. They need to serve everyone."

Everyone? Nah. Will let you slide on that one.

But am pointing out your body parts you just lopped off. When will you be storming the mortgage broker offices and demand they start making loans in neighborhoods populated by ethnic minorities? When will you be beating down a businessman's doors because he refused to open shop on "that" side of the tracks?

When will YOU stop discriminating and spread the hate evenly? Or will you keep discriminating and be like the people you claim to despise?

You got time for that?

DE FACTO MEANS THAT'S THE WAY IT IS

This is discrimination, as repeatedly proven. It's de facto discrimination based on non-choice matters of enthicity and country of recent ancestry and discrimination based on choice of where someone lives.

Hate is easy when you have a well-defined target. Ain't so easy when your own views create a smoke screen to hide the other stuff that is far more egregious.

Let's pick on Detroit s'more. Here's the story that sparked me.

“Independents like ourselves have to make a business decision as to whether or not we choose to make that investment in certain communities,” he said. He pointed to a combination of the costs of regulatory compliance, and disinterest from brokers in marketing to areas where the homes are super cheap. “It’s difficult to make a loan of that size and earn an appropriate amount of income.”

In other words "I don't wanna" is the only reason. "I don't wanna" was enough to make so many of you rise in righteous anger to shut down bakeries. But when a person can't get a home...

Ain't nobody got time for that!

I may be wrong – correction, based on what so many of you show by your actions, I am wrong – but I happen to think that a home to live in is more important on the order of galactic magnitudes than any cake. Yet this story about the mortgage business and redlining has been knocking around the news for longer than any freekin' cake. Outrage much?

Nah. Because it has to be hate on your terms. Hate the baker, stage protetsts, shut 'em down and make their lives hell. But take on the mortgage companies?

"Ummm, we've gotta go over here and whine about Middle Eastern refugee rights. Can't be concerned with folks who can't get a mortgage," you say.

HATERS GONNA HYPOCRITE

Hate, but on your terms. Hate those who are different with different opinions and a different belief structure. Hate those who do things that really don't matter. Hate over a cake? But you can't be bothered when someone can't get a mortgage to buy a house BECAUSE OF WHERE THEY LIVE?

(insert your choice of string of profanities here)

PAGING MR. SWIFT, PAGING MR. JONATHAN SWIFT

Yassee, as with most things, there is a simple solution here.

YOU open a bakery.
YOU open a mortgage company.
YOU offer the services and goods you keep whining about.
YOU be the difference you want to see in the world.

Rather than demand someone else do it, YOU do it.

Money talks. Bullshit walks.

Keyboard warriors? What ya gonna do?

Hate on your terms? Or say "Ain't got time for hate, gotta make a positive difference in this world" and then GET UP AND DO SOMETHING!

Y'ain't gonna do it staring at a screen.

Next time you decide to rip someone a new one because of their discrimination, ask yourself "who am I discriminating against?" Hate is hate, no matter who spews it or in what direction.

Me? I am officially discriminating against people who rise in ire over the idiotic cause du jour while completely ignoring the real issues. Conduct yourself accordingly and go find someone else to write your stuff. I ain't got time for that.

The woo factor

Back in 2011, I was hired to write a press release for "the enlightened K u n d a l i n i    K r i y a    Y o g a     Master    Y o g i r a j    G u r u n a t h    S i d d h a n a t h."

I spelled his name with spaces so Google won't trip on his name and show this blog. Can't be having clients track me down later to rip my head off because I expose them as Uri Geller types.

Woo Master Yogi Smith, as I call him cause I cannot pronounce his names, promised that 2012 was a "year of change."

Among the quotes in the article is this one:

“It is time for the second advent. It is time for the second advent of the Christ who was one with Krishna,” he says. “The 5,000 year cycle is complete and it is time for him to come to clear the negativity of the world and balance all creation.”

I did not make up that quote. Every quote in that press release (which has inexplicably vanished from the Internet) was supplied by Yogi Master Woo Smith. This is odd. Normally when I write press releases for hire (I am a word hooker. I write you long time), I make up quotes. Not this one.

Yogi Master Swami Smith also said 2012 was the end of 350 million year cycle and a 5,000 year cycle.

Lotta cycling going on there.

He said it would take a few years for things to get straightened out and those years would be marked by "turmoil." Some "souls" have to leave earth. Only said the souls would be "taken." Did not say how.

Makes me wonder if he was predicting the 2016 presidential election.

Here is some babble I generated from the information he sent about a psychic hoedown he planned in NYC - " Participants can expect to reach into the fifth dimension on a journey of blissful tranquility and crystal clarity. The experience will deliver a thoughtless awareness of the mind."

Yeah. I wrote that bit.

So, did anyone attend the free mental shindig in NYC? Did anyone get "thoughtless awareness of the mind?"

Other than Trump and Clinton, that is.

The woo factor

Back in 2011, I was hired to write a press release for "the enlightened K u n d a l i n i    K r i y a    Y o g a     Master    Y o g i r a j    G u r u n a t h    S i d d h a n a t h."

I spelled his name with spaces so Google won't trip on his name and show this blog. Can't be having clients track me down later to rip my head off because I expose them as Uri Geller types.

Woo Master Yogi Smith, as I call him cause I cannot pronounce his names, promised that 2012 was a "year of change."

Among the quotes in the article is this one:

“It is time for the second advent. It is time for the second advent of the Christ who was one with Krishna,” he says. “The 5,000 year cycle is complete and it is time for him to come to clear the negativity of the world and balance all creation.”

I did not make up that quote. Every quote in that press release (which has inexplicably vanished from the Internet) was supplied by Yogi Master Woo Smith. This is odd. Normally when I write press releases for hire (I am a word hooker. I write you long time), I make up quotes. Not this one.

Yogi Master Swami Smith also said 2012 was the end of 350 million year cycle and a 5,000 year cycle.

Lotta cycling going on there.

He said it would take a few years for things to get straightened out and those years would be marked by "turmoil." Some "souls" have to leave earth. Only said the souls would be "taken." Did not say how.

Makes me wonder if he was predicting the 2016 presidential election.

Here is some babble I generated from the information he sent about a psychic hoedown he planned in NYC - " Participants can expect to reach into the fifth dimension on a journey of blissful tranquility and crystal clarity. The experience will deliver a thoughtless awareness of the mind."

Yeah. I wrote that bit.

So, did anyone attend the free mental shindig in NYC? Did anyone get "thoughtless awareness of the mind?"

Other than Trump and Clinton, that is.