The Gross National Debt

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

So do it again

If you are an adult, annoying teenagers is pathetically easy.

Annoying them while teaching them a life lesson is also pretty easy.

Annoying them, teaching them a life lesson and making a point all the same time, not so easy.

Here's what you do.

Wait until a teenager does something painful or complains about doing something that was painful. Doesn't matter what it is. Pain must be involved. Bee sting. Stubbed toe. Banged head. Dropped cell phone and cracked screen. Whatever. Emotional, mental or physical pain, it's all good.

When the teen is done ranting, ask question 1:

Did you enjoy it?

The teenager is going to say "No" and probably say it a bit sullenly. Teenagers do a lot of things with a sullen attitude. We did. If the answer is No, proceed to question 2.

If the answer is yes, then reply "Well good. Do it again."

As I've never received a legitimate "Yes" to question 1, I don't know what kind of reaction to expect.

Question 2: Did you learn anything?

This answer will vary. But, the most common reply is "No."

If the answer is no, you say, "Well, do it again."

The teenager will be surprised, shocked and possibly aghast. Certainly the teen will think you have lost your mind. Correction. This will be further evidence that you, as an adult, have no mind and the world should be run by teenagers because they know everything and just need the chance to put their knowledge to work, just as soon as they get done sending a few more gazillion text messages.

If the answer is yes, you reply: "Well good. It wasn't a wasted experience."

More shock, amazement, aghast-ment and etc. Further proof to the teen that they should be in charge of everything and everyone over the age of 30 needs to be confined to a nursing home.

It is, of course, entertaining to annoy teenagers. But there's a much deeper meaning to this. I've yet to meet a teenager who understood it and I've met few adults who got it.

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