Cannot help

 <sigh>

Rolled into work a few minutes after 6. Across the street, she was standing, rocking back and forth. She likely slept there in that small, unheated space.

The space holds a kiosk for people to pay their power bill. That's it. No heat, that I know of. Might be heated. May have AC because this is S. Georgia. Summer temps and electronics do not pair well.

She had to be — no she did not. If the owner arrived before she left, she'd get arrested again.

Then she'd have a warm place to stay and food, for at least as long as she stayed in jail. She is a regular at the Iron Bar hotel.

WHAT WAS COMING

Knowing what was coming, I opened the door, stepped in and locked it behind me.

Yep. 30 minutes later, the door rattled. She was trying to get in.

The crew arrived. Left door unlocked.

She came back. Mumbling incoherently. Obviously wanting something, anything. She'd take it and trade it to someone for money to buy lottery tickets, cigarettes and whatever else struck her as necessary at that moment.

In that moment, I remembered why my desk is behind a wall, away from public view, for those times when people come into the building. At least I get a second or so to react, if needed, before they make it around the counter and back to me.

I ain't paranoid. I have proof. Tangible proof. Come by. I'll show you the bullet holes.

Anyway, the door was locked after she left. She came back a few moments ago. Door still locked.

A LIFE OF FREEDOM

A brief story -

Yakutsk, Russia, is supposed to be one of the coldest cities on earth. Temps regularly hit -50 C. If you wanna believe Google, that's -58 F. You can freeze to death quite quickly.

Yakutsk has homeless people. One gent there has lived homeless there for 20 years. He does not want a home. He prefers his life of ultimate freedom. Wow.

Yes, it is freedom. No taxes, no job, no expectations.

She has the same freedom. She refuses to cooperate with people who try to help. People have gotten her an apartment, a room, etc. Never stays long. Either leaves or gets kicked out. The kicking is far more likely.

MENTAL HEALTH

She probably has mental health issues. I cannot state this for certain. Other people have told me she does.

I hear people yelling, "We need to do more for people with mental health issues."

How? What? When? Where? People like her refuse any and all help. Will. Not. Take. It. Handouts of cash, drugs, food, booze, gladly accepted.

Years ago, we dealt with these people by putting them in "mental institutions." That is now cruel and inhumane. Sometimes, I agree. Sometimes, I disagree. Some people need to be removed from the public.

Is she one? I am not sure. As best I know, she's never harmed anyone. She has yelled at people, including me. Could she harm someone? Sure. We all have that potential.

Potential is not reality. If we lock up people because "they might," then we should all be behind bars.

Anyway, how can you help someone who just walks away every time?

SHE BE SWINGING

She can be rational. She can be as irrational as a toddler denied a cookie. There is no telling who you'll get when you encounter her. Those swings are massive.

According to her, I am either her pastor, a racist, a handout provider or something else found within her personal universe.

Yeah.

I do my best to avoid her, as I did this morning. No good comes of the times we interact.

CANNOT HELP

I cannot help. I do not know how to help.

I am not sure I want to know how to help. It may take too much. It may take something I am not willing to give.

At least for a while, I am pretty much a prisoner in my office. I can leave, maybe. Walk, yes. Drive? No. If I get into the truck, I am genuinely concerned she will stand behind it so I cannot back out. If she does that, then the local constabulary has to be called in. I do not want to do that, even though it means she'd have food and a place at least for a few days.

I am at a loss.

If you have suggestions, I'm listening.