When I failed the Stoics

This is about deadlines. This is about me. This is about how I react to deadlines. This is how I failed the Stoics, sort of.

For more'n 40 years I have lived with, by, through, for and on deadlines in a way most people won't quite understand.

In my world, missing a deadline is more than just being late. It is losing. Losing exponentially as that distance between the deadline and when the work will actually be done gets greater.

Arg. Complicated.

Try this - In my world, missing a deadline has very real costs. Those costs grows exponentially as time passes.

It is more than just what it does to my wallet. It is more than what it does to the company wallet. Those are bad enough.

Missing a deadline, without a valid reason is worse for a 2-part reason:

1) It is rude
2) It is an inconvenience

These, these, they drive me I allow these 2 things far more control over me than they should have.

Needs work, as one friend in particularly regularly states about himself. That's a reminder to me.

RUDE

It is rude because the people who missed the deadline do not care about other folks and their lives and what they have to do. They are too self-centered. They believe the word revolves around them.

What and when they want is all that matters. Other people are either obstacles to be obliterated, steps to reach higher or something to simply be ignored in the way Cthulhu considers this reality.

I do not like dealing with those kind of people. Where possible, I do not deal with them.

INCONVENIENCE

These people who think of deadlines as something that applies to other people also have no problem being an inconvenience to others. See above.

These inconsiderate people have no problem in making others set aside their schedules, their wants, their needs and everything else.

Deadlines to these people are simply ficticious points on a chronological map. At least until it blows up and they have to start eating the cost.

Ahhhhh.

A LESSON

You might think that is enough to teach a lesson. You are wrong. Humans have a singular ability to tilt at windmills up to their final breath.

Me? I have spent far too much time sounding the charge and demanding Pancho give me the best lance. I am trying to change this.

TIME

Time is apparently an illusion to these folks. They do things when they feel like it.

Round here we call it Turner County Time. I am certain you have a similar saying where you are. The geographic name changes. The idea is constant.

I recall dedicating the High School gym here to the late Ronalda Pierce. Time set. Time started. Moved through the 45-minute ceremony. Done.

As we were shaking hands, remembering Ronalda and such, people were still coming into the gym expecting to see the ceremony. 45 minutes late is still on time to some people.

When these people are the ones being treated rudely or inconvenienced by missed deadlines, the world has come to an end. People responsible must be punished. 

Point out they do the same thing? Insults fly. Cognitive dissonance rules.

FAILED

And this is where I failed the Stoics, sort of.

They tell us everything that happens is good. 

The Stoics also remind me I am not in control of my circumstances, but I am 100% in control of my reaction to them. Unreasoning emotional reactions are not good.

The Stoics tell us to accept our fate and go a step further. Embrace it. Love it. Amor Fati.

They also tell us if we can change things, do it. If we cannot, accept it.

I try to do that. I presently can't won't always do that with those other people who think a deadline is just a word in a dictionary. I am trying to be better.

Where deadlines and other people are concerned ... stoicism is replaced with fury. I explain further.

GREATER THE IRE

The more people who are affected, the greater the ire. This is not just about me.

If it was about me, I'd be a Mt. Vesuvius every time I went to the doctor. Appointment 9:30. Get into the exam room 10:30. Doc walks in 10:45.

This only affects me. I ain't always happy. I am resigned to it. I manage. I have learned to block off the time needed for events like this. Where possible, I do things that need doing while I wait.

Some day I will learn to accept and embrace it. Amor Fati.

Maybe.

Again, it only affects me. I roll with it.

Add more people to the mix, I presently cannot will not handle it in a rational way.

BETTER

I am getting better at handling other people missing deadlines. I am learning to just say, "Cool." and then walk away leaving those who mangled matters to sort it out without my presence.

This is me changing things.

When I have walked away, this has left other people shocked, stunned, outraged and etc.

Their problem. Not mine. They can should become Stoic and enjoy it. Or, learn what a deadline is and stick to it.

Ooooooo.

Unfortunately, walking away is not always reasonably possible for me. It is always possible, but may come with a cost I cannot am unwilling to pay. If you know much about me, you understand that. In those cases, I should must accept the matter with calm dignity. 

I'm trying.

If someone misses a deadline enough times, that person is no longer part of my situations and circumstances. I simply will not acknowledge them. I handled the matter. Costs will be paid.

VALID

Missing a deadline with a valid reason, not an excuse, I can deal with that. Fecal materials are a space-time occurrence.

Need to change the deadline? Let folks know as soon as you can. Let people who are also in the queue know so they can adjust their schedules.

This notice and adjustment recently happened in a matter I was involved with. 

All involved got an update when the matter was pushed back about 30 minutes. Cool! I made adjustments. It worked. The Stoic in me smiled and said "This too is a good thing."

That notice showed:

Respect
Acknowledgement
Awareness

To me, that ain't a lot to ask. To too many others, that is a task required effort beyond measure.

To those people, I offer a modern Stoic response - A lack or planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.