The Gross National Debt

Saturday, November 5, 2016

A lil story about Bob and Fred and Joe and Marvin and ...

—This is a true story. The names are changed to protect the guilty, the innocent and those who status remains to be seen. Quotes are modified, but the semantics are 100 percent accurate.—

Fred runs the place. —You can call it a feudal society, if you like. That's not 100 percent accurate, but it's so close you're going to need an electron microscope to see the difference.—

Fred gets up one morning and decides that everyone has to give him part of everything they own. A small fraction really. Not much.

But they have to give it to  him.

Bob says, "Nah. Ain't gonna do that. Don't want to. Don't need to."

Bob and Fred are best of friends.

Fred goes to Bob and says "Where's my stuff? You owe me. I want what you owe me."

Fred says, "Bob. How long have we known each other? I'm not giving you my stuff just because you tell me I have to. That is freekin' stupid."

Bob says, "Well, yeah. You're right."

And Bob keeps everything he has.

Fred goes to Joe. "Give me my stuff," he says. "Give me what I told you to give me."

Joe sees what happened to Bob and also says no.

"Well, I'm going to give you time to think about it," Fred says.

He goes to Marvin. "Give me my stuff," he says. "Give me what I told you to give me."

Marvin, who is not stupid, knows what happened to Bob and Joe. He says the same thing as Bob and Joe.

Fred beats Marvin into a greasy spot. Fred then drags Marvin to his house and chains him up in the basement. Fred takes everything Marvin has.

Bob and Joe see this. They approve. Other people see this and also approve. Fred is called a great leader.

—I remind you, this is 100 percent true. It happened. Recently. I could show you this in the news to prove it but I shan't.—


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