FRIDEE FUNEH

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Tired of paying ever-increasing prices of gasoline, one local family has traded in their fleet of OPEC supporting rides for a more traditional mode of transportation.

“We got hay burners,” said Jim Turk. “Horses. Got a horse for the wife, myself and Jim Jr. and a pony for little Sally Mae. Best decision we ever made.”

You're doing it wrong.

The Turk family traded in a Ford Explorer, a Volvo and an aging Crown Victoria for their stable of horses. Mr. Turk declined to say exactly how much they got on trade, only admitting “We got a good deal on this. Got enough money left over to take the whole family out to eat and buy a new saddle.”

Mr. Turk rides a roan gelding and his wife Mary Lou rides a dappled grey mare. Jim Jr., a lineman on the high school football team, rides a Morgan. Sally Mae’s pony is buckskin colored.

Mr. Turk said the decision, made about two months ago, is already paying off. By eliminating gasoline from their daily budget, he estimates the family has saved $500 a month alone. Additional savings come from not having to pay vehicle insurance and routine maintenance on the cars.

Reminds me of a gal I dated in college.

“All we have now are regular vet bills and a little bit of money for sweet feed,” Mr. Turk said. “A horse is about 10 percent of the cost of a car. A pony is a bit less.

“I tell you, have you checked the prices of veterinarians these days? Way cheaper than a doctor at the clinic. I’m looking at switching our health care to the vet as well. After all, the vet is a doctor and he can prescribe medicine. What more do you need from a doctor?”

Sweet feed is costing about $8 a bag at the feed store. One bag lasts a week, according to the Turks. The horses and ponies graze in neighborhood yards, providing an unexpected bonus for the Turk family. No more lawn maintenance costs.

COMMUNITY REACTION

Neighbors so far don’t seem to mind. All interviewed said they are glad to not have to pay illegal immigrants under the table for lawn maintenance. The only drawback is the horses are a bit indiscriminate when it comes to pruning and hedge maintenance.

“They either eat the whole thing right down to the ground or don’t eat at all,” said Turk family neighbor Junie Snodgrass. “While I really didn’t mind them eating the petunias my husband bought, I didn’t much care for them eating my rose blooms. They won’t even touch the hibiscus, which is fine. But the holly bushes really need to be cut back. They are getting so tall I can barely see into anyone else’s house.”

GOING GREEN

Horse apple? You're still doing it wrong.

The equine byproducts, horse apples, are gathered daily and dumped in the family’s compost bin the back yard. A ring of tomato plants surround the bin, supporting Big Boys bigger than a doubled fist.

The compost also feeds a nearby garden, which is fenced off.

“Had to,” Mr. Turk explained. “Horses will get in there and eat everything right to the ground. Not too good! So we put up the fence, horses stay out and we get fresh veggies.

The family describes the taste of the fresh vegetables as amazing and far superior to supermarket produce.

OTHER BENEFITS

16 year old Jim Jr. said riding a horse to school has so far been one of the best things to ever happen to him.

“Girls, girls, girls, Girls are just slap crazy about horses. The first day I rode up to school all my friends were like laughing and making fun of me. But when school was over and I spent the next three hours giving girls rides around the whole school, lemme tell you there were some jealous looks,” he said.

Well, maybe it will work. No. You're still doing it wrong.

Mrs. Turk said her only objection is going grocery shopping. A horse is not exactly conducive to bringing home two weeks worth of food for a family of four. But they have a solution in mind. Thanks to the money the family is saving, next week they plan to buy a wagon. Mrs. Turk will hitch her mare to the wagon, ride to the grocery store and shop without worrying about how to get everything home.

Mr. Turk has received a mixed reaction at work. While his boss doesn’t mind, some of his co workers have objected to the smell and the flies that have mysteriously appeared about the same time as his horse. Mr. Turk brushes it off.

“I’m thinking so far out of the box here, they can’t grasp what I’m doing. Radical, genius-level ideas have always met with strong resistance. This is no different.”

Little Sally Mae? She’s probably the happiest of the bunch.

“I GOT A PONY!” she loudly exclaims to everyone she sees.

Come and get it if you can

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Yes. Ask the experts.

In a FB thread a longtime friend asked me to explore the idea that the Second Amendment was repealed.

Gun control works. Ask China.

The Second Amendment as passed by the Congress:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

As ratified by the States and authenticated by Thomas Jefferson, Secretary of State:

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

That comma is important. Think not? Consider these two statements:

Anyway. Could the Second Amendment be repealed? Sure. When you consider the intellectual level of the United States taken as a whole is on par with a retarded flatworm, anything is possible.

And we shot them again in 1812.

However, it's is unlikely to happen any time soon. A repeal requires a vote of a majority of states' legislatures. 25 or so states now have a State Constitution guarantee that hunting and fishing is a right held by the people. 49 states now have laws in place allowing citizens to carry a firearm. Illinois is the holdout. These regs do vary with Alaska being the freest - You got it, tote it - to some states requiring training and limiting the places where a gun can be carried.

Which does not answer the question. If the Second Amendment is repealed by popular vote, this means a fundamental shift in American attitudes toward firearms. Somewhere around 80-90 percent of the populace agree people who be allowed to have a firearm.

An immediate shift is unlikely. A gradual erosion is far more likely.

Embrace truth.

If such a slow shift happens, gun owners will be in a very small minority, so small that any chance of insurrection will be slapped down in a hurry. People will die, yes. 

But people are already dying because of government control over lives. A f'r'instance. A majority of the people in the nation want marijuana decriminalized, but people are still sent to jail for possession.


See Randy Weaver and David Koresh among others. Weaver's wife was killed while she was holding a baby. Her crime? Refusing to surrender to federal authorities. Weaver's crime? Entrapped (according to the courts) into selling a Class III firearm to an undercover agent. The gun was a short barreled shotgun.

OK, posit a quick repeal of the Second Amendment WITHOUT a paradigm shift in thinking.

You will see mass defections from the military and law enforcement when they are told to go confiscate guns. Most of the people I know on the Thin Blue Line and in the military believe in the right to keep and bear arms.

We keep you free. You're welcome.

This will leave a handful of people charged with collecting guns and making arrests. They will now face a larger "enemy" for lack of a better word. They will also face some highly trained opposition. The guys who go into SWAT, SEALS, Rangers, etc are generally the guys and gals who are fervent Second Amendment supporters.

As gun ownership is highest in the South and West, and these legislatures will reject an Amendment repeal, I think a second rebellion is possible. How possible I do not know. Brief aside, if you closely study the history of this nation, a secession attempt was inevitable. If the South hadn't broken away, I believe the West eventually would have.

Anyway, there will be even more bloodshed along the lines of the War of Northern Aggression. I call it the War of Northern Aggression because the Declaration of Independence is either valid document or toilet paper. 


"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation..."
 
 As for myself and people who think like me, we will not go gentle into that totalitarian night.

As for myself, if the government decides it wishes to take my guns, I hope the gun grabbing politicians come for them and me and not my friends in the military and law enforcement. 

I do not want to shoot anyone. But I will if I have to.

They can have my gun when they pry it from my cold dead fingers. I will take some out before I go.

Get more cool posters like the ones I posted here, here.

Where Idiotology doth lead, idiots shall follow

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Brace yerself.

"At a certain point, I've just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married," Obama said.

So said the current president of the United States.

This comes on the heels of North Carolina voters deciding the marriage is between a man and a woman.

It only took him 3.5 years as president to say something that makes sense. That's a better record than some presidents.

Several things need saying.

IDIOTOLOGY

Earning an advanced degree in Idiotology

The president is a damnocrat. Southern damnocrats are hard boiled on the issue of same gender marriage. They are against it.

Those who share one part of the president's recent ancestry are likewise hard set against same gender attraction.

Now if these voters are to remain true to their beliefs, they will vote against the president come election time. However, as they are more bound to Idiotology (a word I invented), they will support him. It matters not what the candidate says or does, only that he is a damnocrat.

You can just as easily insert the word reboobican in the place of damnocrat and come up with the exact same statements. It happened when Dubya was in office.

RELIGION

A personal relationship. Me and Him. NOT me, you and Him.

The idea that marriage is a union of one man and one woman is Biblical, but is specifically for a man who wishes to formally enter the ministry. The Bible does not specifically prevent a man from having more than one wife. Nor have I found any passage which prevents a wife from having more than one husband.

For that matter, I also ain't found anything that says group marriages are proscribed.

I have found a number of references in which divorce is prohibited by the Bible except in specified circumstances. Circumstances which I note are flouted regularly by the very same people who believe their interpretation of the Bible must apply to everyone.

Why is your interpretation of the Bible correct and mine is not?

STATECRAFT

GO RON PAUL!

A major issue yet to be decided is: Is marriage an institution of state or an institution of religion? Pick one. Under the terms of the Constitution of the United States it has to be one or the other. If religious, government must stay hands off. If state, religion has no place in it.

For myself, part of me continues to wonder why anyone wants independent sanctioning of a decision to spend time with another person and engage in the making of the beast with two backs. Shakespeare said that last bit first so go yell at him if you don't like it.

As an ordained minister I will officiate a marriage of two (or more) people of the same or different genders. I can appreciate the need to make a lasting vow before the Creator of the Universe and friends and family and sealed by a person invested with a smidgen of authority from the Creator. But I don't think it's necessary. If two, or more, people want to declare themselves to be married and they are of age and mental acumen to do so, they do not need my permission. Don't need your permission either. They only need to agree among themselves.

I understand the political ramifications behind a state-sanctioned union. I don't agree with the way the state goes about ordering such unions and affecting such joinings. But I also do not agree with a majority of things government does.

Hogs to the trough

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A brief story to set the stage for this discussion.

Hogs get a bit of a bad rap. They are accused of a variety of things they simply are not guilty of. To narrow this discussion, I point you to hogs overeating.

Mr. Creosote, prior to the wafer thin mint.

Given free range and the ability for forage for themselves and exercise, hogs will put on fat. Every animal will do so when given sufficient nutrition. Some animals intentionally put on fat to carry them through hibernation, but they are not maligned like hogs. Hogs will not overeat in one sitting though. Horses will. A horse will gorge itself until its insides are in danger of rupturing.

Human beings will do the same.

Humans are pretty much unique in that given unlimited food, they will eat themselves into an inability to move independently. Yes, such people do require enablers, but that's beside the point at the moment.

The fact is humans will gorge if given the opportunity.

I have been banned from this place, in case you wondered.

Restaurants have long known  this and have set the prices for All You Can Jam Down Your Piehole buffets accordingly. Cheap food, cheap ingredients and appropriate prices keep such joints in business.

In other words, restaurants crunched the numbers. At the same time, the All You Can Eat is a one-time thing. Come back later, you pay again. It's not a buy once, eat forever deal.

Other companies did not bother doing adequate research and are now paying the price. AT&T launched unlimited cell phones, a decision which is now costing the company some serious bucks according to today's Market Place report on National Public Radio. The AT&T guy who pushed this now massively regrets it.

Every cell phone company around, except mine of course, offers unlimited plans at what most people consider reasonable prices. My cell company does offer unlimited plans, but the price is more than twice that of its competitors. (I stay with my cell company for other reasons and a plan which no other company anywhere offers.)

One way to do it.

Once the cat is out of the bag, getting it back in the bag especially after it has spawned a litter of kittens is next to impossible short of lethal capture means.

American Airlines some time back offered a $350,000 fly first class the rest of your life program. The company is now losing more than $1 million a year thanks to this program.

A now defunct satellite TV company offered a lifetime subscription for $350 ($500?). They lasted a few years. Now the folks who had that service are SOL.

The problem is greed - hogs to the trough in other words, albeit a more correct metaphor is horses to the trough.

These All You Can Use companies certainly did plot their own corporate greed. They failed, epically failed, to take into account the greed of their customers. Anyone who could fork out $350K for unlimited first class flights has no problem in taking a weekend jaunt anywhere American Airlines flies. As little as I know about the airline industry, I can see that's a money loser.

Word to the bosses out there.

The cell phone companies can be excused a bit. When the All You Can Use plans were introduced, cell phone use was NOWHERE near the level it is now. While some predicted the current and rising levels of use, they were not taken very seriously. Gotta admit, I'da been one who didn't take them seriously.

You can bet, wager and but hedges on those gambles on anything and win some and lose some. The only guaranteed bet when it comes to humanity is greed, greed at the corporate level all the way down to the personal level. Bet on that to win and you'll be rolling in whatever return your bet pays off.

Companies offering All You Can Use plans will do well to remember humans are nothing more than horses standing in front of an unlimited supply corn.

Not what you wanted

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For some reason I thought about William Bruce Rose, Jr, also known as William Bruce Bailey today.

Mr. Rose or Mr. Bailey, depending.

The name may mean nothing to you right now, but it will by the time I'm done. Think of this as a Paul Harvey "The Rest of the Story" with my individual twist.


Mr. Rose had a goal, a dream, an ambition. There's little doubt in my mind he achieved this goal. Spectacularly achieved it in fact. His work, in one case, is listed in the worldwide top 10.

Mr. Rose, after achieving stellar heights of stardom, set about destroying the very thing he wanted most by being what he wanted to be.


Arg. Confusing.


Mr. Bailey asked for something. He received that something. No one can question that.

Having received it, Mr. Bailey then reveled in what he'd been given. As he partook of particularly twisted Gift of the Magi, he set about creating yet another near-world record of destruction, possibly only eclipsed by what happened to the Beatles.

What did Mr. Rose/Bailey ask for? Stardom? Quiet incredible heights of stardom. Having reached it, he became the ultimate prima donna star. Fans continue to demand his early work and discuss the amazing abilities he displayed with his partners.

Mr. Rose/Bailey achieved his goal and that goal sent him crashing and burning back to earth where he now rides on the laurels of his past, to pervert several different idioms at once.
The saga of Mr. Rose-Bailey reminded me of another oft turned phrase that is yet timeless.


Be careful what you ask for. You just might get it.

If you ask for strength, prepare to be burdened.


If you ask for patience, prepare to be tested and tried.


If you ask for wisdom, prepare for unimaginable experiences.


If you ask for money, prepare for repeated visits from the IRS and possibly law enforcement.


The easy way to look at this is: When you ask for something, think about what is the most painful and difficult way you can get it. Now ask, will it be worth it? NOW ask, can I really handle it when I get it?


Mr. Rose, Mr. Bailey could not handle it. As to whether it is worth it, only he can say. One thing is true, he certainly never will be the artist who had such a creative hand in the No. 9 rock album of all time.

Do you now know to whom I refer? One last hint.

 Considering the violent reception Chinese Democracy got, I seriously doubt he wants it any more. Mr. Rose, better known these days as Axl Rose, got what he asked for.

This matters too

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Ask me, these more than two decades later, what happened on a given day in school and chances 99.99 percent are I won't have a clue.

The most dangerous things on earth.

That I learned valuable things in school is a given. Without school, I'd not be able to pen this column, write the books I've authored and run the newspaper where I am hijacking the internet feed for personal purposes, i.e. these ramblings.

School was incredibly valuable and I do not in any way demean the value of a solid scholastic education when I tell you the following.

But everything you need to know, you will not learn in school.

I suggest to you, the majority of things you need to learn are not learned in a classroom setting. You do learn a number of these things at school, but not through direct teacher-to-student instruction.

I skipped school a few times in my life to go hunting or fishing. What'd I miss by not being in class those times?

Intellectual content of the average political party faithful.

Not a thing.

Nothing.

Zero.

Zip.

Nada.

What did I gain by giving school the brush off?

Memories that last to this day. Walking miles through fire breaks in Colquitt County with a loaded shotgun while Jerry Sumner and Dad panicked 'cause they couldn't find me.

Seeing my Mom write a note to school asking my absence be excused as I had come down with a case of "buck fever."

Hitting pond after pond after pond and catching bass after bass after bass.

One happy young'un!

Figuring out that if I skipped school to have a stereo installed in the truck and didn't bother to bring a boat, fishing gear or hunting gear with me, I had a whole day to kill and NOTHING to do cause I couldn't go home either. I was in class at 11 a.m that same day.

There's more, but you get the idea.

So I tell you I am proud of what I relate next.

I took my kids out of school Thursday and Friday of last week and hauled them to the Northeast Georgia mountains. Up yonder, they played on a beach, saw some giant rainbow, brook and brown trout, handled a leopard frog, leopard frog tadpoles and a leopard frog string of eggs. Jesse rafted a river. Susan caught striped bass, several, for the first time. They both got to see, for the first time, a fish cooked with the head still on.

They got to see mountains up close and personal.

They learned things that can only be learned in a classroom with trees for walls, rushing water for a floor and sky above for a roof. While their classmates pored over textbooks, my kids were getting wet and sun-dried. They were putting their hands on wild things, some of which strenuously objected to being handled.

Considering the activities we engaged in, you can even say my kids were in harm's way. People are injured and killed in river rafting. Striped bass have pulled people out of the boat they fished in, including our Nottely Lake guide Jeff Garrison, a combat-wounded veteran.

Coming later this month.

But crossing a street is also dangerous. Riding in a car is dangerous.

I absolutely do not want my kids to be hurt, but when the pain comes and come it must, I want my kids to be experiencing life to its fullest. That means rafting white water and rassling giant fish and handling toads.

As much as I and my kids love to read, books are only vicarious living. I say read what others have done and then go out and make your own adventures for your own stories.

I note here, both my kids are on honor roll and are respected by the faculty and staff at the school they attend. If that wasn't the case, I cannot be sure they would have made the trip to the north Georgia mountains.

But they went. They made memories that will last beyond the memory of missing those two days of school.

They learned the kind of lessons that we all need. This planet is what we have, all we have and it has treasures and wonders beyond anything our imaginations can generate.

Josh and a monster striper.

My kids are learning to look beyond.

If you are a parent, what are your kids learning?

Take your kids to tangle with some big stripers.

Josh Garrison
www.fishgarrison.com
404-308-1863
706-745-4802

Occupy protestors don't get it because they can't

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Yesterday I played beer god for the Chamber of Commerce golf tournament. In cruising the course delivering hydration to the golfers, I passed a man in the pine trees.

Manual pine straw baler. His did not have wheels.

He had a wooden compactor. He was baling pine straw by hand.

I offered him a beer. He accepted.

A while later I rolled through again. Offer and accept. This time he talked. He spoke of how hot it was, how demanding the labor was and how uncomfortable it was.

He also said he was paying his bills.

This man appeared to be a good bit older than me. There's no doubt in my mind he's old enough to be the father and probably grandfather of most of the "Occupy" protestors.

As I understand it, these protestors are demanding wage equity.

What they ask for and what they really want are far different things.  They have not lived long enough to understand the difference.

As I watched the old man bale pine straw, which will sell for $2,50 a bale, I wondered how much he was making an hour. Minimum wage? Probably. Possibly a tad bit more. Not a lot more.

Real work.

Nonetheless, he was making his way in the world.

I've been there. Done that, sorta. I never baled pine straw. I have pulled onions, cut collards and cabbage, pulled turnips, laid miles of irrigation pipe, thrown watermelons and cantaloupes. My first job, wherein I actually got paid, was daily labor. I was paid a varying amount for the day. I think the lowest I ever made in a day was $6. That was for more than 8 hours of work. Less than a dollar an hour.

At the time, pay by the day was legal on farms.

Over time, the pay scale shifted to either hourly pay or by the piece, as we call it. By the piece means you get paid based on how much you produce. Good workers can earn more than $100 a day in some seriously heavy duty physical labor.

Myself, I REALLY REALLY like this kind of pay. The more you work, the more you can earn. Don't work, don't get paid.

Are you willing for work for that kinda pay?

The occupy protestors could learn a lot from this kind of wages. They'd learn they really don't want pay equity.

If they really wanted this, the old man baling pine straw would be making just as much as a bank vice president. And that means the cost of maintaining their elegant yards would be the same as their mortgage payment.

They'd learn something else. They'd learn what real work is.

Bet you the "protestors" could not hold out until lunchtime in a cucumber field. Bet you they are not willing to protest on behalf of the old man baling straw. When they eventually get a high-paying job, they will turn their back on the protests. Betcha.

They are not protesting for wage equity. They are protesting because they do not know how to work.

I have cousins who grew up next to me, throwing watermelons (right Masa?) and picking tobacco. Their children will not work in the fields. They say it is too hard.

When I grew up I didn't have that choice. I worked in the fields. I learned what hard work is all about.

If my kids join these "protest" movements, I'll bring that to a grinding halt. They will spend their summers in the watermelon and tobacco and cabbage fields of my cousins who still farm. They won't be able to quit and they will get paid what they earn.

They will learn what the other occupy protestors will not.

Some things that need sayin

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Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.

Racism is social arson.

A rebellion is always legal in the first person, such as "our rebellion." It is only in the third person - "their rebellion" - that it becomes illegal.

One man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist.

There is a reason totalitarian regimes shut down free speech and restrict people's access to information.

None is so blind as he who will not see.

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.

Where you see valid achievements or virtue being attacked, it’s by someone viewing them as a mirror of their own inadequacy instead of an inspiring beacon for excellence.

Read Levitcus 18:22

Now read Lev 25:44

Exodus 21:7

Lev 15:19-24

Exo 35:2

Lev 19:27

Lev 19:19

Lev 24:10-16

Lev 20:14

When ya gets done, read 2 Timothy 2:14. Never mind, I give it to you.  Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.

And 1 Corinthians 1:10
I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose.

Required Reading for the Intelligent Among Us

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http://blatherword.blogspot.com/

The path to a redder neck

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Redneckin'


A few lessons for the non redneck readers I have.

1) A 4x4 is useful for two things.

A. Going bogging. This is when you intentionally find large numbers of deep mud holes and you try to get through them. Generally you have a bunch of other rednecks also in 4x4s running around the same place and you have plenty of chains to pull each other out when you get stuck. Getting stuck is part of the fun.

By the end of the day the truck will be supporting a few hundred pounds of mud that sticks harder than a Damnocrat to a campaign contributor. This is supposed to happen. Do not wash the mud off until everyone you know has seen it.

If you are a teenager you must drive the truck this way until your girlfriend announces she is too embarrassed to be seen in public with you in that mess. Wait until Sunday and then wash the truck.

B. Not going bogging. This may sound like a contradiction, but it's not. If you are in a place and you suddenly need to shift to 4x4, you do so to back out and then not go into that place. Four wheel drive prevents you from having to walk for what may seem like the rest of your life to find someone to pull you out.

2) When you see a mud hole, accelerate as you go through it. Do not enter the mud and take your foot off the accelerator. You will get stuck. You will have to walk out. You will have to walk uphill. Against the wind. It will be 105 degrees or 10 below. It could snow. It could rain. All at the same time.

At some point you will also have to cross an electrified barbed wire fence. You did not have to negotiate this fence when you entered wherever it is you got stuck. But when you leave you will have to. This is an unwritten rule of the universe.

You may have to outrun a bull while crossing this electrified barbed wire fenced pasture. The bull was not there when you drove past and when you come back later to pull the truck out, the bull won't be there again. No one knows who owns this bull, where it comes from or where it goes. It is just something we have to accept, like Congress and fire ants.

As you walk out, you have two ways to go to the nearest road. Across a freshly plowed field or at least five times as far by walking the packed dirt at the edge of the field. Sir Issac Newton's physics states you will be able to walk the edge of the field much faster and with less effort than walking through the field. Whether you cross the field or walk around the edge is directly related to how old you are and whether or not you know Sir. Issac Newton invented gravity and not the fig newton.

3) When you get stuck, do not stop. Do not put the truck into reverse, attempt to back out and stop and put truck into drive and attempt to drive out. You will get stuck even worse. You must RAPIDLY shift between forward and reverse. Braking between these shifts is useless, unless your objective is to get stuck worse than a Reboobican facing ethics charges.

4) When a more experienced redneck says "Yer stuck, quit spinning the wheels" do not get behind the steering wheel, put the truck into drive and floor it. You merely dig the truck in deeper and wear out your tires.

5) When the blackberries are ripe. Stop. Pick and eat some. There is no finer food on the planet than wild blackberries picked and eaten right beside the road when you are walking out to find someone to pull your truck free of the mud hole. Your entire body will thank you for this. That you are about to die of thirst and the blackberries are exceptionally juicy is an unexpected kindness.

And just for the record, I found out I can still walk a mile. Uphill. Against the wind. It didn't snow or rain, but it was in the upper 90s.

I'm going back for more blackberries.

I was not driving either.


Ben Baker is the owner of one functioning 4x4 and one on blocks. He can be reached in the blackberry patch just north of the pecan orchard.

Th' high cost of college contained

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On one of the National Public Radio shows I heard a contest for college students. I can't recall all the details because one of the ideas to help corral the cost of a college education floored me.

The idea is simple, practical and will never, ever ever be implemented.

The idea:

A college agrees to educate a student. The student in turn agrees to pay the college 5 percent of his salary for the next 20 years.

Brilliant. Absofragginlutely brilliant. I elaborate.

This invests the college and the student in the education. The college has a serious commitment now to making sure the student gets sufficiently educated so that he will be able to pay the college back for that education.

The college is also committed to making sure the student actually gets an education that pays.

There is a catch, of course, for the student. Fail to complete college, the student is then on the hook for the cost of college. The college is free to go after the student however it deems necessary.

IRS auditor after a successful audit.

Considering the way the IRS operates these days, collections are a minor matter. Get a judgment, hand it over to the IRS and the IRS takes care of collecting the money and paying the college.

As much as I believe the IRS ought to be abolished, this is one enforcement program I support.

The student is invested because if he doesn't get the degree, he's on the hook for tuition and collections will be considerably more than 5 percent of his income.

This makes colleges and universities operate like the real world operates. This is why it will never pass.

It makes colleges accountable. Make an investment and collect a return on that investment. A poor investment returns a poor yield.

This is also why this will never work. Colleges and universities have a vested interest in being stupid. Not ignorant - that is simply a lack of knowledge. Stupid is an admission the information is out there, but refusing to assimilate that information.

I explain.

Dunno how many of you, my readers, have spent time in those hallowed halls of academia. I put my 4 years in as a student and have periodically found my way back as a guest lecturer.

What I learned in my college days and have seen be reinforced is that most of the professors could not survive in the real world. Most. A few of them come from the real world and a few go back to the real world.

The adage - Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach - is ever more true on college campuses.

Colleges put a premium on conformity (despite what they may claim) and on getting educated for their teaching staff. Experience and the actual ability to do what the professors are teaching is far less relevant than most people imagine.

Rather, it has been my experience that experience and ability are mostly actively frowned on.

The exact opposite is the way the real world works. Experience and ability commands premium prices.

Making colleges and universities accountable to the same market forces that rule much of the real world makes too much sense for such places to allow it to happen.

So you wanna write a book...

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It has never been easier to be a published author. You can, quite literally, get a book into "print" at no cost to yourself.

pred-ed.com . A list I will soon be on no doubt.

The new ebook platforms, the Kindle and Nook, have taking book publishing even a step past Print on Demand (POD). I have several books in print, dead tree edition, and several others in the ebook only format. Got several more I'm working on which will be in both formats.

There's no reason you too cannot be a published author, just like me.

This is a good thing.

This is a bad thing.

It is a good thing because I think everyone who can speak can write. There's no trick to it. You just put the words down on paper. The person really doesn't even have to be literate. Just say the words to someone who can put the words on paper. Famed romance novelist Barbara Cartland dictated her novels. Someone else typed them up.

I also think everyone has something to say. What they have to say may not be interesting to you or me, but eventually it will interest someone. But that is not the reason to write. The only reason to write is because you can. What other people think is irrelevant. You are the only person actually qualified to judge your own work.

Cover sucks. Book is awesome.

Hopefully you never get to the point of people like me who have to write. Aside - You either get that or you don't. There's no in between.

Of the 60+ books I judged in a recent book contest, less than 10 were worthy of being put into print. I say that noting it's my opinion only and I am not qualified to judge the other authors' works. One book, An Inconvenient Amish Zombie Left Behind The Da Vinci Diet Code Truth, was absolutely a slam dunk in terms of writing. This one deserves to be on the best seller list.

A couple of others were very very good, just a step below the Amish Zombie. I can't say that a few tweaks would put the books into the same category because the genre simply didn't appeal to me. But the writing was solid quality.

I have read and heard stories of other authors who have gone on to huge success in the independent publishing work. No agents, no contracts and no shared royalty with publishing houses. I have friends who've achieved this kind of success. Marty Beckerman being one. This too is a good thing.

Now for the bad things.

Life is too short to read bad books.

A few other books definitely had potential. This is a bad thing with today's ease of publishing. Writers slam out enough words to fill a book, upload it and they are published author.

If someone had helped the author out with a red pen, the books would have made a substantial leap forward in quality. As Paul & Sabrina have pointed out, everyone needs an editor. We all need someone to eyeball our work critically. Most of the family and friends you have will not do this. They are not going to hurt your feelings or tell you the truth.

Add to this, most of your family and friends simply don't have the editing abilities necessary to help you pound a manuscript into shape.

As much as I detest, abhor and generally find the idea of hiring an editor to go over your manuscript, I am beginning to believe this is a reasonable step for many authors. The sheer number of books going into publication each year now has put a different reality to the idea of hiring an editor to go over manuscripts.

S. Georgia newspaper editor.

As a full time editor and writer myself, I could easily be buried in manuscripts to edit for other people, if I did it for free. I will not do it for free. I won't charge money, but I am going to extract payment. I have a standing agreement with several author buddies. We edit each other's work on a 1:1 basis. For each MS of theirs I edit, they have to edit one of mine.

This is not a friendly edit either. This is serious and we spare no feelings. The last MS I edited resulted in a pretty substantial revision of the book's main character.

Want me to edit your stuff? Are you tough enough? I have literally and personally driven two people out of journalism. And, I was being nice to them.

The great majority of the books I read for the contest were a waste of trees. As a tree farmer, I'd rather see my trees turned into termite chow than used as pages in some of those books. They were that bad.

In the old world of publishing, these books would have never see the light of day unless the author ponied up thousands of dollars for self-publishing on a traditional press. Now with Print on Demand, these books are available worldwide at no cost to the author.

The problem should be pretty easy to see. Of the 60 books in the contest I judged, less than 10 were worthy of reading (admittedly by my standards). I include the genres I don't care for in the less than 10 worthy of reading.

More than 500 books are hiding the less than 10 books that are worthwhile.

That is the biggest tragedy of book publishing today. The good books are buried until a landslide of compost-to-be. Only a few manage to sprout through the detritus and earn the acclaim they deserve.

One last tip - if you decide to self publish DO NOT PAY FOR ANYTHING EXCEPT THE BOOK. Some companies charge you setup fees, pre-press fees, etc. This is a rip off. Outskirts Press is one of the biggest rips in the business. Do Not Use Them.

Atten Liberals and Conservatives - A minimum wage study

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Minimum wage rates don’t affect hardship among the poor

Athens, Ga. – Americans are poor. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the country’s poverty rate is at its highest point in 20 years; 15 percent of the population lives below the poverty line. A recent University of Georgia study looked at how minimum wage increases can decrease poverty in America. It turns out that they don’t, according to the report.

“By and large, evidence says that minimum wage increases don’t go to the people they are intended to help and that there are other policy tools that are more effective at helping the working poor,” said Robert Nielsen, an assistant professor of housing and consumer economics. He co-authored the study with Joseph Sabia, an assistant professor of economics at San Diego State University.

Ongoing efforts across the country try to make sure people who are working earn enough money to support their families—without having to work multiple jobs. Over time, a person’s wages lose buying power, and every several years there is an effort to increase the wage to recover some of that purchasing power, Nielsen said.
The minimum wage currently earned by U.S. workers is $7.25 an hour. A bill has been introduced to raise the federal minimum wage to $9.80.

“Regardless of who is looking at it, minimum wage increases nearly always result in null findings­— almost no one finds any positive effects for helping families through minimum wage increases,” Nielsen said. “As a policy tool, it doesn’t reach the right people.”

Minimum wage increases are aimed at decreasing the hardships experienced by families in terms of food, health and financial and housing insecurities. The study reveals that most minimum wage earners aren’t family breadwinners, and they aren’t poor. In fact, 87 percent of the beneficiaries from the last wage increase were not poor; instead, they lived in households with incomes at least two times greater than the poverty threshold.
Half of poor Americans age 16 to 64 don’t work, according to the report, so an increase in wage won’t affect their status either.

“The data confirm overwhelmingly that the minimum wage is missing the mark,” Sabia said. “For instance, nearly 54 percent of less-educated individuals who missed a rent payment in the last year were not working. These Americans don’t need a wage increase—they need a job.”

The study, supported by the Employment Policies Institute, looked at minimum wage policy changes from 1996 to 2007 at both the state and federal levels and used minimum wage data from the Census Bureau’s Survey of Income and Program Participation to examine several measures of hardship. In all, the survey constructed 10 measures of family hardship to evaluate the effectiveness of an increase in the minimum wage. Measures included the ability to pay utility bills or mortgage payments as well as having the resources needed to purchase a balanced meal.

“When we look at other policy changes like the earned income tax credit, we do see reductions in poverty and hardship because the program is targeted. It is well-constructed public policy that assists those kinds of workers who most advocates want to help,” Nielsen said.

The study showed a 1 percent reduction in poverty is supported by a 1 percent increase in state supplement to the federal earned income tax credit.

“The rhetoric doesn’t always match the reality of income transfers, because we all receive them,” Nielsen said. “Everyone receives some sort of income transfer from some other segment of society, and the question becomes which forms of those income transfers best help people who are poor. I wish I had an answer for that one.”

For the full journal article, see http://epionline.org/studies/120228_EPI_CanRaisingtheMinWageReducePovertyandHardship.pdf.
 

Eye to tusk with a killer

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Have you ever been charged by an animal capable of killing you? I mean charged with intent to inflict as severe damage on you as possible and there's nothing between you and the animal except a rapidly shrinking distance.

I have. A number of times. It is why I love wild hog hunting so much. My favorite charge so far is about a 300 pound wild boar. He stopped his charge when my rifle "clicked" on an empty chamber.

I have taken steps to insure that won't happen again.

Saturday, I was charged 3 times by a wild boar. All three charges were turned aside and I did not shoot.

It did unnerve me.

To explain.

First - I was packing a .44 cap and ball revolver - a black powder muzzleloader firearm. Definitely capable of taking down a wild hog, which it in fact did. But not my preferred weapon for facing down a charge. I won't bore you here with the intricacies and issues of C&B revolvers. But they were very much on my mind. Why'd I take it? Because I wanted to shoot a hog with it. I did too.

Second - I was the hunter and behind me was John (Foxy) Fox with the camera. We were recording the hunt for Real Outdoors with Team No Prisoners TV show. As the hunter, Foxy's safety was part of my responsibility. Never mind that he can handle himself and has stood down many charges of his own.

Third - to my right stood the pro guide I was hunting with. On all three charges, the boar broke right. I could not shoot. I had to be aware of where he stood. The guide has stood down more charges than he can count, so I was not concerned about his safety.

The combination was more than I could process in less than second. Had I been packing a shotgun or a .45 ACP , it would have been dead hog at the instant of the charge.  But if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bust his ass every time he jumped.

Whatta rush. Looking forward to doing it again, this time with something a little harder hitting than a .44 C&B.

Some people will say wild hogs are not dangerous. We have footage of a wild boar (the one I killed) which was savaged in a fight with another boar. The hog I shot was dying anyway because of the wounds it had. Dogs are routinely killed by wild hogs. People have been hospitalized after being attacked by hogs.

Frydee Funnee

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I miss Icky

It's not the most manly thing in the world to do, but every time I go quail hunting, I get a little misty-eyed. It's easy to blame it on the dust, smoke, every now and then (when I get invited) the gaseous emissions from the hay burner engines pulling the wagons.

But, I must confess, it's none of that. I'm missing the best quail hunting buddy a person could ever have and it was not a human or a dog, although I have hunted with some finds dogs like Sebastian, Darth Vader, Plato and Quarter.

Nope. I'm missing Icky.

Icky was short for Ictalurus Punctatus. He was the world's only quail hunting channel catfish.

I got Icky when he was nothing but a fingerling, just about the precise size necessary for a good eating catfish. I don't know what came over me that day on the river, but when I hauled Icky up and threw him in the bucket, I just stood and looked him for a long time.

I had not named him yet as I didn't often give names to the main course for supper. The longer I stood there, watching the catfish swim around in the bucket the more I was just convinced I could not put him in the fish fryer.

Finally I quit fishing for the day and just went home with a single little catfish in the bucket. At the house, I drilled a hole in the bottom of the bucket. I stuck a cork in the hole.

Every day I dropped a little corn in the bucket for the catfish to eat. Now I don't know what came over me, but every day I took that cork out and let just a little water run out of the bucket. Every day that water got a little lower and every day the catfish got a little bigger.

Finally, the water was completely gone. That catfish just walked around the bottom of the bucket, as best he was able to.

I had to take him out of the bucket then and put him in a pen. That catfish would rear up on his tail and hook his front fins through the fence. He'd grunt at me and grin when he saw the handful of corn in my hand.

One day I took him out of the pen. Now by this time, I'd named him.

Icky took one look and me and hightailed it toward the pond across the road at the far end of the field. I figured that was the end of it, but Icky got down to the edge of the field and stopped.

His whiskers started twitching and his head was slinging back and forth. I just watched as he scooted along the dog fennels. A few minutes later, Icky stopped. His head went up and one fin stuck straight out.

I just watched as a covey of quail bobbed along in front of him. When the quail would get too far ahead, Icky would ease forward, keeping the covey in sight, but being sure not to spook them.

That was all I needed to see and in a flash I had a shotgun and was down there. The covey busted and I got a double, fully expecting Icky to die of fright.

But no. Icky was tearing through the dog fennels toward where one of the birds was downed. He brought that one to me and went and got the second bird. I'd be lying if I said those birds were brought in with not a feather out of place. He chewed the birds to pieces.

I had a talk with Icky right there about how to handle a bird and I could tell by how his head hung down he was sorry and would not do it again.

When Icky jumped the rabbit, I will admit to finally being surprised beyond belief. You should have seen that old catfish tearing through the briars after that rabbit.

I still get all choked up when I think about that.

Icky and I hunted a few seasons together. We were down on Little River on my uncle's place one day hunting and had to go through a swampy area.

Icky was crossing a log when he slipped. He fell in the water and drowned before I could get to him.