Hire me or else!

Color me amused.

First, a story about a young'un I do not know. Shag knows. Shag taught him. Said young'un was in high school with PCV couplings in his earlobes.

Shag asked this person what he intended to do about getting a job with holes in his ears big enough to hold military recoilless rounds.

"They will just have to hire me," the about to be new grad stated in the cocksure confidence of people his age.

They didn't.

Some time later, this unemployed and apt to stay that way unless he changed intrepid defier of convention (insert hyphens as you see fit, I ran out last week) tried to join the military. He had to have surgery to close the holes in his ears. He changed. The business community and the military did not.

Nonetheless, I salute his rebellious attitude. I might have done the same were I in high school today. As to what I did in high school, never you mind until my book comes out and even then I ain't telling everything.

Anyway.

Jump f'ard to Thursday this week and the job fair coordinated by the Chamber of Commerce. More'n 200 people showed up.

By my count, which may be low, two people showed up with resumes. One person stole my pen, just the same as you and I have stolen pens without thinking about it. Some showed up in work clothes, which is not a problem.

I did not bother to count the number of people who showed up to have a job interview with:

• Children in tow. I understand finding someone to ride herd on young'uns can be hard. But if you show up to the interview, then employers are gonna wonder if you can find someone to tend said child while you are supposed to be on the job. Still, this one is more understandable than what follows.

• Wearing house slippers. Eh, what? I'da took pictures, but I also knew I was going to write this blog and access to those pictures could get me in more trouble than I presently want to deal with.

• Wearing shorts and too-short shirts. Hah? I do not believe anyone in the interview room was looking to hire strippers of either gender. I could be wrong.

• A cell phone in hand, using said phone while other people tried to tell the person what forms to fill out and where to step next for more information. Yup.

• Wearing clothes that shouted "I do not want to be here, but this is a good place to have my 'looking for employment' box ticked on my unemployment form and my government aid forms." Not everyone has a suit, but you can have a tucked-in shirt and pull your pants up properly.

• Showing without a bra, a barely long enough shirt and sizeable mammary glands. One of the three can't be helped. You pick.

Me bud Greg regularly chastizes me for what he says is a cruel attitude toward people. Greg works in the nonprofit arena, helping people by giving them a hand up. I support that. What I do not support is a hand out just because the person feels entitled. I find it very hard to take people seriously when they refuse to take themselves seriously.

I'd say a good 30-40 percent of the people who turned up for the job fair fit into the above bullet point descriptions in some manner. I'd offer more exposition, but without video or plenty of still pictures to back it up, I'm gonna pass. Just not interested in the side fight which would erupt.

As always, yer mileage may vary.