The Gross National Debt

Friday, September 15, 2017

Full bore tac

Remington 870 with mag extension. Yes, pix is rotated 90° clockwise.

For many years (How many? A lot) I've wanted a shotgun with a mag extension that will allow me to carry as many as 10 rounds of 2&3/4 buckshot in the gun.

When I first wanted this kind of shotgun, I was still a teenager, invincible and capable of bending I-beams with the power of my mind, able to carry a pair of elephants on my back through the desert with nothing more than a 48'er of malt liquor to sustain me. I reasoned the extra ammo would allow me to kill every dove in the flock that soared overhead (never mind I could not and still cannot hit these rocket-propelled kevlar-vest coated speed demons) and lay waste to entire herds of deer as the dogs chased them past me in Stewart County. In short, I aspired to be an alcohol-fueled cross between Jerry Miculek and the 1970 Russian female weightlifting team.

Fast forward into middle age and I acquire an 870 with synthetic furniture. I studyify the gun and decide now is the time to get the tactical assault shotgun I always wanted.

Here is how it went:

Item 1 - Synthetics to make it as weather-proof as possible. Already installed.

Item 2 - Sling attachments. Order four from eBay, 'cause two can also go on the 1100 if needed. One sling attachment on the stock. One for the mag extension connection point. Two that double as mag clamps for the barrel.

Item 3 - Mag extension. Order from eBay. Discover the extension comes with one clamp, so cancel order for second clamp. Realize that order is already placed. No worries. Two mag clamps have got to be better than one.

Parts arrive. Set about installing and discover that, dammitall yes, the mag tube indents are still in place. Post a request on FB to borrow a Dremel as mine is burned out. Lots of offers and one actual delivery of a Dremel with a complete case full of tools.

Disassemble shotgun. Various parts fall out and go everywhere. Decide most of them are now irrelevant and forget about them.

Grind out indents in mag tube. Clean mag tube. Make sure everything can slide through, including the shell follower which, SURPRISE!, is one of the bouncing parts that must be put back into the gun.

Re assemble shotgun.

Realize the slotted sling holder is still sitting on desk. Take apart and place sling holder on backward. Take apart again. Install sling holder correctly.

Verify shotgun will accept ammunition.

Remember, BEFORE TEST SHOT, that test firing a shotgun in the office is not a good idea.

Admire shotgun. Take pix for this column. Believe I am 17 again. Ponder other accessories (not installed) such as a collapsible stock with pistol grip, tac rails to hold lights, laser, scope with green light for night hunting atop the scope, ammo holders, drink holder, War Hammer heat guard & pic rail combo, vertical slide grip, door breecher choke and MP3 player to play the predator calls to draw yotes in really close.

Gun porn. Just like human porn. Complete fantasy and totally unrealistic.
Shoulder shotgun as seen in top picture with 4 rounds of buck in the mag tube. Watch in horror as the front end slowly sinks to the floor and I am incapable of stopping this from happening.

Realize I am 50, out of shape and never get invited to dove hunts anyway. Decide to add a sling so I can actually carry the gun to and from the truck on the rare occasions I want to do some weight lifting at the gun range.

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