The Gross National Debt

Friday, September 21, 2012

I like Butt Rub and I cannot lie...

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OhmiGawd
Fred! Look at that Rub
It’s so good
It’s like the stuff the pros use
You can’t buy that stuff normally
It’s just so good they don’t want the secret out
I mean it’s rub
It’s just so good
I can’t believe it’s sold
Right there, on the shelf
I mean, it’s just WOW
Look, it’s so good.


I like BUTT RUB and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
When I walk in with a big old jug
and big ol slab of ribs
You get slobberin’
This ain’t gonna be tough
Cause you know that butt be Rubbed
Deep in the meat, make it good
I’m hooked and I can’t stop drooling
Oh Rub, I’m gonna get with ya
and pour you in a pitcher
Yanno them amateurs tried to warn me
but that Rub you got
make me so HONGRY
Ooo rump of hog so fat
Say you wanna get in my grill
Well pour it on, roll it on cause you ain’t that average rub

I’ve seen them trying
To hell with frying
It’s fine, all mine, it gonna blow your mind

I’m tired of magazines
saying you don’t need no rub
Take the average redneck and ask him that
He tell you, you gotta Rub that fat.

So fellas (YO!) Fellas (YO!)
Did you woman buy you some rub (Damn right!)
Well Rub it, Rub it, Rub it, Rub it, Rub that slab of hog
Butt got Rubbed

(Boston Butt with the real Butt Rub)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna take you you home
And UH, Rub it up UH UH
I aint talkin bout no pepper
Cuz that just ain’t gonna help her

I want it real thick and juicy
I ain’t gonna be real choosey
This redneck’s in trouble
Beggin’ for a sammich of that bubble

So I’m looking youtube videos
Bustin’ them grillers cookin like bozos
You can have them no shows
I got my bottle of MoJo

A word to the grilling bros
I got the stuff right here
Rub it on and bring your beer
I gotta be straight when I say we gonna
Cook it till the break of dawn
We got some smokin’ goin on

A lot of posers won’t like this song
Cause them idiots ain’t got none goin' on
But I’m stay and grill
Cause I got the rub and beer
Ain’t gonna move from right here

So ladies (What now?!) Ladies (What now?!)
You wanna roll in my rub (Are you insane?)
Then get over here
Pour it out
Everybody gonna shout
We done got the Rub

(Boston Butt with the real Butt Rub)

Yeah baby
When it comes to rubs
Them TV chefs ain’t got nothing to do with my choice
Salt, pepper, basil
Only if you’re cooking spaghetti

So if your buds throw a Q
And they invited you
But they ain’t got the Rub on their Q
My choppers don’t want none unless it’s got the Rub hun
You can use a marinade or a brine, but please use that Rub
Some bros say they also wanna hard roll
They tell you it makes a sammich whole
Then they can’t eat it
I grab that meat and retrieve it

So the Doc says Rub for me ain’t good
Well I ain’t cooking just with wood
Cause that Rub is righteous and the meat is kickin'
And I’m definitely gonna be stickin'

To them TV chefs on the idiot box
You go boil your ham hocks
Rub me a big slab of meat I can’t resist her
My red beans and rice go right next to her

Some damnyankee tried to dis
Cause Butt Rub ain’t on his list
He can’t cook without the Rub
I seze get outta my face Bub

Yanno if that butt is meaty
and you wanna get greedy
Dial 1-900-BUTT RUB and kick them tasty thoughts
Got Butt Rub
Got Butt Rub
Thick all the way around, pack it with Butt Rub

1 comment:

  1. Sending this to Justin immediately. I think you two can work on so choreography. I will upload to YouTube and we'll all make millions.

    ReplyDelete