I like Butt Rub and I cannot lie...

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OhmiGawd
Fred! Look at that Rub
It’s so good
It’s like the stuff the pros use
You can’t buy that stuff normally
It’s just so good they don’t want the secret out
I mean it’s rub
It’s just so good
I can’t believe it’s sold
Right there, on the shelf
I mean, it’s just WOW
Look, it’s so good.


I like BUTT RUB and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
When I walk in with a big old jug
and big ol slab of ribs
You get slobberin’
This ain’t gonna be tough
Cause you know that butt be Rubbed
Deep in the meat, make it good
I’m hooked and I can’t stop drooling
Oh Rub, I’m gonna get with ya
and pour you in a pitcher
Yanno them amateurs tried to warn me
but that Rub you got
make me so HONGRY
Ooo rump of hog so fat
Say you wanna get in my grill
Well pour it on, roll it on cause you ain’t that average rub

I’ve seen them trying
To hell with frying
It’s fine, all mine, it gonna blow your mind

I’m tired of magazines
saying you don’t need no rub
Take the average redneck and ask him that
He tell you, you gotta Rub that fat.

So fellas (YO!) Fellas (YO!)
Did you woman buy you some rub (Damn right!)
Well Rub it, Rub it, Rub it, Rub it, Rub that slab of hog
Butt got Rubbed

(Boston Butt with the real Butt Rub)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna take you you home
And UH, Rub it up UH UH
I aint talkin bout no pepper
Cuz that just ain’t gonna help her

I want it real thick and juicy
I ain’t gonna be real choosey
This redneck’s in trouble
Beggin’ for a sammich of that bubble

So I’m looking youtube videos
Bustin’ them grillers cookin like bozos
You can have them no shows
I got my bottle of MoJo

A word to the grilling bros
I got the stuff right here
Rub it on and bring your beer
I gotta be straight when I say we gonna
Cook it till the break of dawn
We got some smokin’ goin on

A lot of posers won’t like this song
Cause them idiots ain’t got none goin' on
But I’m stay and grill
Cause I got the rub and beer
Ain’t gonna move from right here

So ladies (What now?!) Ladies (What now?!)
You wanna roll in my rub (Are you insane?)
Then get over here
Pour it out
Everybody gonna shout
We done got the Rub

(Boston Butt with the real Butt Rub)

Yeah baby
When it comes to rubs
Them TV chefs ain’t got nothing to do with my choice
Salt, pepper, basil
Only if you’re cooking spaghetti

So if your buds throw a Q
And they invited you
But they ain’t got the Rub on their Q
My choppers don’t want none unless it’s got the Rub hun
You can use a marinade or a brine, but please use that Rub
Some bros say they also wanna hard roll
They tell you it makes a sammich whole
Then they can’t eat it
I grab that meat and retrieve it

So the Doc says Rub for me ain’t good
Well I ain’t cooking just with wood
Cause that Rub is righteous and the meat is kickin'
And I’m definitely gonna be stickin'

To them TV chefs on the idiot box
You go boil your ham hocks
Rub me a big slab of meat I can’t resist her
My red beans and rice go right next to her

Some damnyankee tried to dis
Cause Butt Rub ain’t on his list
He can’t cook without the Rub
I seze get outta my face Bub

Yanno if that butt is meaty
and you wanna get greedy
Dial 1-900-BUTT RUB and kick them tasty thoughts
Got Butt Rub
Got Butt Rub
Thick all the way around, pack it with Butt Rub

Baptist youth visit a Mosque to learn

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No. I ain't kidding. It happened right here in my community.

Steve Laughman, who has risen considerably in my estimations, is the youth & family minister at the Ashburn First Baptist Church. He led a youth group in a 4-hour a week comparative study of world religions.

Four hours a week. Two hours on Sunday night after church. Two hours on Wednesday.

Steve spoke to Kiwanis today about this class he taught. As he opened his talk, I was impressed. Comparative religions? Coming from an extended family well-steeped in Southern Baptist traditions and with many family members convinced anyone not a Baptist is going to hell, I was more than intrigued.

Russian Orthodox ministers.

Steve said he started the class off with Judaism.

"Ah," I thought. "A comparative study of the various branches of Christianity" and I prepared to tune him out.

Then, he said they studied Eastern orthodox Christianity and my eyes opened a bit. When he said they went to a Catholic church in Macon, I sat up and paid attention. I have relatives who believe that since I was baptized a Catholic (I am an American now), I'm on the express train to hell.

When he said they visited the Mormon church in Tifton and a prayer service at a mosque in Albany, I wanted to stand up and applaud loudly.

The class studied a variety of religions and, where possible, paid a visit to adherents of those religions.

redneck unorthodox minister

Wow. A youth pastor at the first Baptist Church in South Georgia took a group of teenagers to a mosque, not to preach at 'em but to learn about them.

I'm still in a bit of shock over this. I'm certain as word of this spreads, Steve is going to catch some of the hell some people will say he's destined for.

Steve pointed out something which bears mentioning. He and the kids he took on the field trips are secure in their beliefs. By understanding other beliefs, they will be able to more intelligently articulate their own, especially if confronted by others of a differing belief.

Imagine that. A pastor who is so secure in his own beliefs that he can study another belief and become even more secure in his own. Wow.

He said he and the students were welcomed in the other congregations, especially when the other congregants found out the Baptists were there to learn, not proselytization.

Even more impressive, adults at the church have asked for the same class. Steve plans to oblige 'em. I Wish my schedule would allow me to go.

I am reminded of John Lennon's classic song "Imagine."

You, you may say
I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine.

I once read that if you fully understand the "enemy" you can no longer consider him an enemy.

Imagine understanding. Imagine accepting people and in turn being accepted.

Imagine learning the truth instead of blindly accepting prejudice.

Dunno about you, but that's what Christianity means to me.

Because right does not mean pleasant

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We have no eternal allies, and we have no perpetual enemies. Our interests are eternal and perpetual, and those interests it is our duty to follow.  

Henry Temple, 3rd Viscount Palmerston

Betcha.

With that in mind, I bring you this news.  I suspect a lot of people are gonna be quite stunned over this. The ACLU, the bastion of liberals (and liarberals) in the United States has taken up the case of a hate group?

Yeah. It's what they do.

As much as I personally do not like the ACLU, I adhere to the viscount's statement and I will take allies wherever I can get them.

I also strongly admire the ACLU for their defense of the KKK here.


I suspect some card-toting members of the ACLU are now tearing up their memberships, resigning and firing off letters to the ACLU, letters which are rather hate-filled too.


So tell me. Why is one person's hate speech acceptable and another person's hate speech is not?

"No hate speech is acceptable," you say.

Oh really? So you can't be hatin' on politicians any more. You can't be hatin' on the churches, the agnostics, the atheists. You can't be hatin' on the people who hate America. 

It's almost OK to hate this.

In fact, if you can't be hatin', I suspect we've just about  halved your ability to have any emotion.

In other words, if you are a typical person, a sizeable percentage of your emotion content is hate.

In other words, if you can't hate then what are you gonna do?

Yep. You CAN'T be hatin' on the KKK and that means letting the KKK have their say and adopt a highway, if you believe hate speech cannot be allowed.

G'head, hate me cause I'm correct and I'm poking  universe-sized holes in your cherished theories of the way the world should work. I'm just asking you to be fair to everyone and make sure the rules you apply to everyone else also apply to you.

Oops. You can't be hatin' on me.

Unless of course you are willing to allow hate speech. Then, fire it up. Gimme those incoherent rants and rip my head off. Call me names. Hate my world baby.  Convince me I'm right with every invective hurled my way.

FEED ME SEYMOUR! FEED ME!

Me? I'm all for hate speech, obviously, especially hate speech directed at armadillos, which is a whole 'nother subject.

I'm not going to hate you. There are a whole bunch of you I don't like, but I'm not gonna hate. I don't have time for that.

Back to the hate speech at hand. I do support the Georgia DOT decision to not give this group an "Adopt A Mile" highway, but not for the reasons you think.

I oppose it cause the KKK group ain't gonna do the litter pickup. They may once or twice when the media shows up. After that, nope. They won't. Most every KKK group in the nation which did the adopt a mile thing had it revoked after they would not do a litter pickup, unless goaded into it or the media was present.

Annnnnd the newspaper photog was willing to snap this pix.

Until the adopt a mile is revoked, this hate group will have a nice sign, at taxpayer expense, to announce their presence to the world.

Mebbe I'm wrong. Maybe they will do a trash pickup every six months. If so, more power to 'em and may they live long and prosper in their efforts to make their community look at little better.

If you object to that, then I ask you, when am I gonna see your "elbow and ass" on the the side of the road picking up trash?

If the KKK does the litter pickup and you continue to object, then I say with no hate at all intended, put up or shut up.

The dominos fall

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An online chum recently said that AK47s and similar guns "designed for killing" should be banned.

The BA-K 47!

For the record - I own an AK47. To the best of my knowledge it has never killed anything. It has fired bullets at a herd of wild hogs, all of which escaped.

That being said, what my online compadre was actually saying is that guns designed for the express purpose of killing another human being should be banned.

Being me, I thought for all of a milisecond and fired back a reply.

I personally own a number of guns which were manufactured for the express purpose of injuring and killing human beings. Yes. They were constructed for the sole purpose of bring down another person.

I ask you, should these guns be banned?

Before you answer, let me share this info with you. I also own a rifle manufactured for the express purpose of hunting - deer, bear, elk and so forth.  Millions of this rifle and ones similar to it have been created, all for the express purpose of putting meat on the table and trophies on the wall.

Should this gun be banned? If you say yes, then we have nothing further to discuss. Go away.

If you say no, my deer rifle should not be banned, but guns designed specifically to kill people should be banned, the consider the two pictures below. One rifle was manufactured with the intention to kill human beings. One rifle was manufactured with the intention to kill deer.

Which rifle is the human killer?

Lemme further obfuscate this for you. Both rifles shoot almost the exact same bullet. There is a .002 difference in optimal bullet size. In terms of firepower, they are so close to being identical as make no practical difference.

Each rifle holds 5 rounds and one in the chamber. Each is a bolt action. Owing to the manufacturing process, one of these rifles shoots much better out of the box than the other. But with 30 minutes, some sandpaper and stick, they will shoot equally well.

According to my chum's definition, one of these rifles is a human "killing" firearm and so should be banned while the other is a hunting firearm and is perfectly acceptable. Which one is which?

I own several rifles of the above human-killer type. It is a 100 percent probability that three of those rifles were fired at another human being with intent to wound and kill. I'd say chances are in the 70 percent range that one of those rifles actually fired a projectile that hit a human.

I own a different kind of rifle which was also made with the express purpose of killing another human being and it like was used to kill humans. It is incredibly similar to the above two examples.

Which one you wanna ban?

The original "assault" rifle. About 3 shots a minute maybe, useless in the rain and dangerous to the shooter too.

I do not own one of the above-type rifles, a slow-fuse black powder muzzleloader. Frankly, I cannot afford one of these rifles which was manufactured for the express purpose of killing someone. I could probably buy a replica, designed to be shot at paper, critters or simply hung on the wall.

What's the difference, aside from the original is a few hundreds years old?

It is not the gun which is dangerous. It is not even the hand wielding the firearm which is dangerous. The danger rests solely in the mind operating the hand which operates the firearm.

So, if you seek to ban "human killing" guns, then where do you stop? The very first firearms were manufactured for the express purpose of killing people and destroying castles and boats. Which domino do you push first?

While the AK47 may appear "scary" to some people, others marvel at the engineering which makes this one of the most durable firearms on the planet. Today it may be a human killer. 100 years from now, it may be wall hanger while the real "human killers" are things we cannot even envision today.