Pork Brains with Milk Gravy

Your encouragement is helping me get through this. You are the wind beneath my wings. Again, Lori and Allison are the reason I started this. Momma is the reason I continue.

Mom was not much liked by Dad's side of the family.

I think the reason was she had opinions that did not sit well in deep South Georgia. Her biggest run-in with was Mickey, Dad's brother and my uncle.

Dad & Mickey went into business together farming. I think Dad did most of the work. I know I did a lot more work on the farm than Mickey's kids. Mom also worked on the farm far more than Aunt Ann.

Summer always meant watermelons. Watermelons are hot work. Mom got so good grading watermelons coming down the conveyor belt she could tell you within a pound what each one weighed. Telling a ripe one from a green one, I think she could almost do that blindfolded. She stood there in the space between the trailer and the conveyor going into the truck, mercilessly culling the lot.

One year, Dad & Mickey got a government contract for watermelons. The inspector said Mom was tougher grading out the culls than he was.

Along with the heat comes something we call bear caught. It is heat exhaustion. You can get swimmy headed, puke, pass out, etc. Generally it is not too dangerous, provided you find a spot to sit down and cool off while drinking plenty of water. In rare cases it can lead to a hospital visit and a few people have died from it.

I got bear caught, as I usually did at least once every summer. Me & heat do not get along. Ma told me to hit the shade and rest. Mickey, whose own kids were nowhere to be seen, extremely objected to this. Ma got up in his face, told him where the road was and walked off. Uncle Mickey, a hothead to begin with, found that about as intolerable as anything he'd ever come across.

Dad pulled up. Mickey corralled him into a truck. They pulled off to the side and spoke in the truck, AC running, for a good 10-20 minutes. UM stormed off the field. So far as I know, he and Mom never spoke to each other again. Dad made it abundantly clear where the road was as well.

Ma fired some people too. When they complained to Dad, he said "She told you where the road is."

She held some opinions that were deeply rooted in her Catholic upbringing. That was another reason others did not care for her.

Oddly enough, in a time and place where women were expected to "know their place" she didn't care. Raised by a single mother, Ma knew what a determined woman could do and could do it without a man.

She knew who she was. She didn't much care what other people thought of that. Another strike against her. But for those who bothered to learn and could get past that abrasive exterior, they found someone who would be there no matter when and no matter why.

She found who she thought were friends closer than a sister. When she & Dad started having trouble and later got divorced, she felt she was abandoned and betrayed by many of them. In later years, I got to talk with some of her friends from that time. None of them said they were upset or held anything against her. They were, honestly, mystified that Mom broke off all contact.

That was her. If she felt she was wronged, game over. The only person I know she eventually reconciled with was her brother, Buddy, who lives in Parhump, NV. She even spoke of that reconcilation more than once. She said Buddy killed their mother (metaphorically, not literally) but she had to get past that because he is/was her brother. Buddy grew close to her as well over the past few years.

Sher also raised her sons to be independent thinkers and not care much what anyone else thought. Do your best and if other folks think that is not enough, they have a problem. She didn't say that so succintly, but she came very close to it many times.

Grandma always treated Mom well. Ma called her Ma. When Grandma was dying the personal care home, Mom went to see her. Grandma very much appreciated that.