BEHOLD! The most nightmarish weapon ever created. The AR15 with a tactical Bernie Sanders Mount ©™@®.
Fear me!
Let me show you its features.
30,000 round detachable Clip/Mag capable of spewing death at distances to 15 miles and that is when the clip/mag is just sitting on a table not connected to the rifle. Imagine what it can do when attached to the rifle at any point on the firearm!
Collapsible bump/sliding/6-position stock making this killing machine foldable so it can be hidden in a toddler's pants pocket.
Industrial/Military/Espionage grade laser/infravision/xray scope capable of seeing through three feet of solid lead. Also shoots death beams.
Forward picatinny rail system for mounting external hardware: a full dinette set so you can immediately eat whatever you shoot, flashlights to blind the opposition into submission, smartphone-video camera so you can record your shots, Camelback water pack for hydration, cigarette lighter, 12 volt solar-powered charging station, specially engraved 2nd Amendment plaque, diaper changing station for those days when you take the little ones to the range for early training, 4-way lug wrench and floor jack, tuxedo storage and ironing press for formal shooting events, lasers, MP3 player, NRA card holder, bacon frying rack and more.
Please note: Pic rails required for the Bernie Sanders mount.
Please note: Pic rails required for the Bernie Sanders mount.
Scary triangle-looking thing over the barrel.
Mysterious barrel attachment that reduces the sound of the gun to negative volumes. Yes. This gun actually absorbs the sounds of screaming.
Evil black coating the same color as Darth Vader's outfit.
Three-position pistol grip allowing the shooter to use 1, 2, 3 or all 4 fingers on the trigger, enabling this rifle to fire faster than full automatic.
Three-position mag/clip grip allowing shooter to mount as many as four mag/clips at the same time allowing the shooter to fire as many as four rounds simultaneously.
Forward assist allowing shooter to chamber multiple rounds at the same time.
EXCLUSIVE - Bernie Sanders Mount ©™@® attachment.
Simply clip the patent-pending Bernie Sanders Mount ©™@® to the bottom pic rail. Fire the Bernie Sanders at the target and watch him leave a trail campaign promises that even a blind hunter could follow. Watch the shock and awe impact on your target as the Bernie Sanders splatters everywhere creating what appears to be enormous damage, but on closer inspection turns out to be easily wiped off with emails and high-level conferences.
The Bernie Sanders Mount ©™@® attachment's greatest benefit is the sheer confusion is sows. Even the most ardent gun haters are thrown into a tizzy upon seeing a blustering Bernie Sanders fired at them from this non-assault assault rifle.
Coming soon, the Donald Trump Mount ©™@® as soon as we figure out how to keep it from exploding just because it is touched.
Coming soon, the Donald Trump Mount ©™@® as soon as we figure out how to keep it from exploding just because it is touched.
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