And the ones who are really hurt are

I come to you today mad. Mad at myself. Mad at so many other people.

Mad, furious in fact, because kids are being affected. Children, who have no idea what's going on, are suffering. Making matters worse, these kids often don't know they are suffering.

Y'can't miss what you never had. Y'can't miss what you don't know about.

"Quit being vague, Baker," you say.

Right, right, right, right. Examples.

Divorced parents using their kids as a way to get revenge on the ex. This is beyond despicable. I'm leaving it there lest I get any more upset.

I've worked in groups where person A gets mad at person B. Person A decides to stop being involved. I have seen this happen so many times.

The group is there to help kids. Help how? Doesn't matter. Just to help them. Help them be happier, more successful, etc. Just. Help. The. Kids.

But Person B did something. Person A gets his knickers in a twist and walks out.

The kids suffer. They suffer, whether they know it or not. They suffer because one adult put his pride ahead of helping children. The kids suffer because one adult is getting revenge on another adult. They become a political football.

"Well. I'll just show YOU! You can go do that without me because you're a complete jerk," says Person A.

But what about the kids? Why do you let someone dictate how, when, where and why you help kids?

You don't like the coach, so you don't let your kids play.

You don't like the director, so you don't volunteer to help.

You don't like the policies, so you pack your bags and leave.

Who suffers? The kids. Apparently, kids don't matter. Your pride matters more. Your feelings matter more. You matter more.

Really? You want to be that way? You are going to let someone else STOP you from helping children? Really?

If you get mad at an adult, fine, be mad at that person. Don't take it out on kids.

When I got to work this morning, I was one of the "you" people. I was seriously thinking about stepping back from a program in my community aimed directly at the kids, designed for the kids and ALL about the kids.

After writing this and talking MH in New Jersey, I've redirected. I'm going to be there. I'm going to help. I'm going to do what is right BY THE KIDS!
I. Am. Not. A. "You."

If you have problems with that, you have some options.

• Get out of my way or get crushed.

• Help me.

• Do your thing to help the kids. Don't have to be on my team or another team. Form your own team. It'd be better if we could work together, but help the kids no matter what you do.

I'm good no matter what you choose, but I truly hope you choose to do the right thing, no matter where you live or what you do. Set your pride aside. Vent if you gotta (I can't argue against that, can I?) Suck it up and get down in the trenches. Do the heavy lifting and QUIT WORRYING ABOUT WHO GETS THE CREDIT.

The kids deserve it.

Get with it.

If you feel this column applies to you, it probably does. If the truth hurts, yer living wrong.