The stupid is strong in these people

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We get a couple of fake classifieds a week at the office. It's always someone with poor English skills looking to hire part time help to work from home, give away some dogs, a motorcycle, etc.

It is, of course, a scam. For the business ad, anyone who bites is sent money orders or checks and instructed to deposit the checks, withdraw some cash and wire it to another address. The credit card they would use to pay for the ad is also stolen information. For the others, wire some money to handle shipping. Either way, bye bye money!

They are amusing to read.

Every now and then, I yank some chains and apply for the job. I always give a Post Office as the address because UPS won't deliver there. This throws them into a tizzy about 60 percent of the time.

If I ever do get the fake checks or forged money orders, I just stick 'em in a folder and forget about them until I get an email wondering where the money is. First reply is always I did not get it. This generates a slightly more heated email. Second reply is I have the MO, but have not had time to get to the bank. Now there are threats to involve law enforcement. I pretend to panic. On the 4th email, the swearing starts. I reply I used the money to buy some drugs and ask if they will send more.

Every great once in a while a real winner comes in.

The best one was someone using the TeleType (telephone communications for deaf people) to run a scam. They claimed to have an office at 106 N. Gordon St. My office is 109 N. Gordon St. I really doubted Bob was going to allow anyone else to run a business out of his coin laundromat across the street.

After I discussed the matter at length with the lady doing the interface work, the scammer finally hung up.

Here's the latest one:

Hello How are you doing…Please I want to Place Below AD on your Newspapers and on your website for 2weeks, Please email me back and let me know how to Proceed

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT
Appointment coordination, Generated reports, invoice documents, Billing Adjustments, Event and meeting planning,setting appointments, send your resume and salary expectations to: js24113@________.com

Jose Sanchez
3**** Stanford Rd 
Ashburn, GA 31714
404-***-0320

Turner County is a small place. But just to be sure, I checked. The 3**** Stanford Road is a field under cultivation. The nearest mail box is half mile away. The phone number is an Atlanta area code, which could be legit considering how cell phones jump all over the nation these days.

A quick Internet search links this number to a variety of scams sent by text message.

But I also used one of my emails to reply to the email, hoping I might eventually be able to trap one of these idiots well enough to catch him or her. Not heard back yet.

Ah the joys of running a community newspaper.