The Gross National Debt

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Epic

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When it comes to drinks of an alcoholic nature, I am known to imbibe from time to time.  And then, and then, and then, there's the one I got ahold of very recently.

Read on.

First, a disclaimer. Jesus didn't turn the water into Tang.

I have also read with massive amusement the serious wine drinkers who can be fooled by the appearance of the bottle. Apparently, the appearance of the packaging matters more than the actual contents where wine is concerned. Well, mosta the time anyway. If you serve a vibrant blue wine, expect to get a bad review from the serious connoisseur. Watch the vid. The last one is hilarious.

Me? Never touch the stuff. Someone told me wine was made from rotten grapes and that was all I needed to know.

I do drink a beer from time to time and there are a few I will not drink, including the US' most popular brand. I prefer lagers and stouts with Guiness being my favorite.

I also like distilled spirits with bourbon and sour mash being my favorites. To this point my favorite has been Maker's Mark followed closely by Jim Beam. I have also developed a sense of appreciation for Jack Daniels of recent years.

And then.

And then.

And then.





You read right. Aged 26 years. This is the recent offering from Orphan Barrel, along with Barterhouse. Orphan's mission is to find old barrels of distilled spirits which were probably forgotten and bring them to market. Both are very limited edition.

As you see, it comes in a square bottle. What you don't see is that's a natural cork stopper inserted into a real wood cap. No plastics except for the seal around the cap.

Yeah.

I sipped.

How to explain this one ...

Asa Baber, the longtime Men's Page columnist for Playboy magazine is a recovering alcoholic. He's sober now. But he described his descent a while back. He said the first time he had an alcoholic drink, he lit up. Not as in drunk lit, but as in a switch inside him flipped and it energized him somehow.

So, yeah. I sipped.

It was as if enlightenment had suddenly been showered down on me. Maker's Mark suddenly jumped from first place to so far back in the pack, it could not be seen. Old Blowhard took first place through, oooo, say 35th. Crown Royal you say? Phhhbbbtttttt.

I know how Asa felt.

Yeah.

I caught a taste of chocolate and dark cherries. I caught a wonderful burn, the kind that makes you appreciate winter days. I caught smooth. I caught a massive 10 point slipping along side a pond bank with a 15 pound largemouth eying the old buck from the shallows.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what distilled spirits are meant to be. This is a true sipping whisky. I now understand why Scotch drinkers can rave about aged single malts. Except this is better. It has to be.

You think epic? Try again

This is a whisky that can cause grown men to fight, without being drunk. Grown men could weep after trying this and still be counted manly.

Helen of Troy's beauty may have launched a thousand ships, but they'd have turned around for a bottle of this.

I understand one reviewer said all he got was a "soap" taste. Either the man is a blithering idiot who should be vigorously rubbed with sandpaper before being tossed into a shark tank or he got a truly bad bottle. I do not know which. I do know if he had sampled from the same bottle I tried and complained, I'd have shot him on the spot and gotten off for justifiable homicide.

If you buy a bottle of this, please invite me over for a shot when you open it. Please.

Old Blowhard, like all the Orphan Barrel offerings, is limited. I do not know the price and do not want to know the price. But it was worth it.

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