The right to offend

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Working in a reference to Dennis Rodman visiting N. Korea is easy - I just did it. But making that relevant to a column on offending, offense and being offensive ain't. Now if this were a column on being underqualified for a no brainer task, then Rodman references would be everywhere.

This is a column on being offensive without trying. Sort of.

A number of my longtime friends have cast the gauntlet daring me to offend them. I'm trying, believe me I am trying!

That is easy. I could offend each one of them with just a few words.

However.

I ain't going to do that.

"Baker, you just contradicted yourself," you say.

No. I did not give you all the information.

A kick in the knee is much more effective.

To now elaborate - I can offend anyone. But to offend some people easily, I'll have have be to malicious about it. Bring on the hate, bring on the wounds that won't heal and crank up the heat. Kick 'em where it really hurts.

For instance, go after their kids.

Some people could easily be offended by slinging profanity. Etc.

Too easy.

It's a cheap shot.


Taking the low road to offend someone is not what I want to do.

To my mind, offending someone is an art. Example: slinging the word fuck around mindlessly is the same as giving a two year old a crayon and a wall. Yeah, yer gonna get a result and yeah it is art by a broad definition. From a two year old's perspective it may even be a masterpiece.

But with the weight of decades of living and the experience which comes with that, is that wall scrawl really something to be admired?

I point you to George Carlin who could take the F-word and turn it into high art. That people were offended by his incredibly creative use of the word fuck is a salute to the genius of the man. No cheap shots there. He worked hard to find inventive ways to bring offense. He created high art. It was only in his later years of life that he turned maliciously cynical, and yet his genius remained.

GAAAAAAAAAAH! The right words won't come out in sentence form! Try this:

Art. Offense. Intellect. Cogitate. Gadfly. Amuse. Annoy. The King's Foole. Torque. Comprehend. Twisted. Perspectives. Ruination. Reconstruction. Sapper. Idiot. Humor. Think. Offend. Brilliance. Open. Closed. Direct. Imagine. Estopple. Mock. Foundation. Anger. Commonality. Bridge. Grasp. Concept. Individual. Ridicule. Light. Darkness. Insult. Monument. Invest. Primal. Help.

Ah. Mo better, at least from my perspective.

Finest kind

Yes, I include "insult" in the list because an exquisitely timed, brilliant and piercing insult is a joy to see, especially when it deflates the pompously arrogant and exposes the lies, corruption and denigration of others within the target. It is high art.

And really, that's what I'm after when I bring offense. Art. I want to create something that affects my target in way they never expected. I want to bring something out of them they didn't know was there.

I'm also a surgeon, reaching into the person and hauling out something that, in my opinion, needs to be removed. Once hauled out, I mock it.

And again, I run out of adequate words. Maybe after I've had time to reflect I'll come up with a better description.