Two hogs and a deer

Out of the woods. Rollin' down Highway 41 as the Allman Brothers sang. About 500 yards from the entrance to the Rec Dept.

An explosion of profanities (OK, 1 mild one) as I see a deer leaping in front of my Cherokee and feel the impact. Another car is on my butt, probably close enough to see the slow drip of water from the cooler on the back where a wild hog is soaking.

Slow down. Pull off the side. Check for damage. Whew.

This old Cherokee has suffered an exploding tire, been shot three times by the guy who was trying to kill me, sideswiped by a pine tree on the back of a logging truck, blown out transmission hoses and water lines, had the front end replaced, gone into a swamp and had to be pulled out, pulled out vehicles out and now it takes out a deer with only a few pieces of broken plastic to show for it.

My kinda ride.

Turn around. Slowly drive back the way I just came. There's the deer beside the road. Load him up, yes him. A button buck. Head on into town for the Board of Education meeting. Cover the meeting and go home. Buck gets quartered out and iced along with the hog.

Wednesday, I finally find time to head to one of the stands with significant hog activity. Plan IlludiumQ32 calls for setting snares. 7 snares, each baited with just enough corn to draw some interest. Figuring I'm in the woods anyway, I slip inside the ground blind stand, the old pump shotgun with some Italian 3" 00 buck.

I get the best naps sitting in a deer stand.

About dark I look up. Yep. Dark. Time to get a move on. Gotta get back to town and prepare for Wednesday night Bible Study lesson at church.

Cherokee and I slip around the edge of the orchard, hugging the woods.

HEY! HOGS! Two of 'em. If they won't spook...

I ease forward just a bit more, turning into the woods and grabbing shotgun.

The black hog steps toward the woods and I loose it in the night. The half white half blue hog stands there looking at me.

Click.

Don't have to swear as I jack around into the chamber.

The shotgun sends a 1300 FPS invitation to be the guest of honor at a future meal. The hog accepts, announced with a squeal. It bolts into the orchard. I shuck the hull and another 00 invitation is loaded. In a cloud of dust, the hog hooks around. Dunno if that one connected.

I check the orchard. No hog. A bit disappointed, I get back in the Cherokee, consoling myself with the thought that there's one less eating machine vacuuming up pecans.

Killing wild hogs with buckshot is difficult. For one thing they are smaller than deer. Less target area. For another, boars have a shield over the ribs that will stop bullets. I put a black powder .45 ball into a wild hog at 10 feet in Florida once. Wound up killing it with a shotgun slug. In the butchering, the ball was found in the shield.

Cherokee and I bounce along the edge of the woods wondering if the hogs will visit the stand tonight and try the corn.

HEY! DEAD HOG!

There in the headlights, the hog. Cheyne-Stokes breathing, but I'm still careful as I approach. Equally careful loading it. One last gasp and it's gone. Strap it down, and off to church. This is not the first time I've headed to God's house with blood on my hands, clothes and a dead animal on the back. Here's to prayers that it won't be the last.

Joseph, the pastor, came and helped me quarter it after services. Then, ran over to Miz Mac's house to hose down as the shower is out of commission until next week.

Up this morning to drive the bananananana. Call the office and leave a message that I won't be in until after lunch. Too much to do. Checked snares (nothing) and processed the deer and the hog.

Making some jerky from the deer, including some violently hot (Call the Moore brothers hot!) jerky. Ground up the hog that'd been soaking since the weekend.

Now back in the office.

Opening a new line of discussion

Found this meme and posted it on Facebooger.


Got lots of snarky replies. I strongly suspect a lot more people saw it and got bent. Got one "No" as an answer with no explanation.

No one else bothered to offer an explanation.

The only reason I can see for saying "no" to the first two questions is the matter of age. Is age a biological function? Hrm. I don't think so. Rocks age, but there is no biology involved. But yes, it is too. Those same rocks can be eroded away over time by lichens which dissolve the rocks to extract nutrients.

arg. arg. arg.

FINDING A LIMIT

So to the third question - where do we draw the line? Based on the first two questions, the line in the sand is age.

An arbitrary marker, in other words. A construct. A fiction. Yes, it is fiction because it was invented to create division. Age discrimination is built into the laws of the United States and a lot of other countries. Why do we determine that one Terran evolution around the sun is 1 year of age? Why not age by seasons? Why not age by two revolutions?

Why?

So why do we have such division? Why can an 18-year-old fight and die in war, but not buy a beer at the corner store in the US?

Maturity level? Please, dump that BS in your rose garden. You and I both know people at 17 who are more mature than some people who are 35.

KICKING YOU OUT

Is a better question: why do we draw a line? I know! I know! The answer is because we must have artificial markers, fake boundaries and created limits. Bring order to the chaos! Tame the wilderness.

Tell that person they can't belong!

Yeah. That's why we have these lines. So we can intentionally and with malice aforethought prevent certain people from belonging. Period. Don't think so? Then you tell me why.

WORM SANDWICHES

This is an age where gender and sexuality, traditional markers for an individual human, are more flexible than a rubber band on a hot day.

If these two markers are now considered flexible, why does age have to be fixed and immutable? More accurately, why must our reaction to age be so fixed and immutable?

Age is not the same artificial marker everywhere in the world. Children are married to children in other countries. Young girls are married to middle-aged men in parts of the world. The drinking age in some countries is much lower than in the US or non-existent. 90-year-olds run marathons.

The ability to tap into government resources is not limited by age, even in the US. As for the movie theater offering a discount, that's a private business. Unless you own the business, it's not your concern.

As the meme points out, today gender and sexuality are entirely what the individual wants these characteristics to be. Cool. Really. Not kidding. You do you, as a great friend of my says. As long as you are not harming anyone (harm is not the same as hurt), go. You do not need my permission, confirmation, warranty or acceptance. Go ye forth and be. (And I genuinely hope you are happy in doing so.)

Ever heard of Progeria? Turritopsis dohrnii anyone? Biological immortality? What happens if humans become immortal?

And lo, a can of worms is thusly opened. Sandwiches all around.

RIPPING THE DOOR OFF THE HINGES

Mutable gender and sexuality did not open a door. It ripped the door out of the frame. I'm good with that too. Closed doors bother me. Closed doors represent absolutes and absolutes drive me past reason into the realms of insanity.

Someone is going to say we must have age-defined limits. Why?

"Baker. Stop being obtuse! We can't expect a 9-month-old baby to drive a semi."

Agreed. But is that a function of age or ability? At 5 years old, I was driving vehicles with far more power than the average driver today will ever experience. I was driving passenger vehicles when I was 10-11. I was going off in the family car by myself well before I was old enough to have a driver's license according to the legal age limit. A person can get a pilot's license in this country before they are ever old enough to drive a car. Islamic extremists have used children as suicide bombers.

Please tell me again why age matters more than ability and experience.

AN INDIVIDUAL WITH GROUPTHINK

The problem as I see it is:

People want to be an individual. They want to have the gender they feel is right. They want to have sexual relationships with the people (and things) they feel attracted to. These are feelings. I am not judging right or wrong. I am quantifying. A second of time can be empirically measured. Can a feeling be so tracked? If we are to allow people to live based on a nebulous concept of "feeling," where do you draw a line? Why do you draw a line?

Prejudiced much?

(Again, I say cause no harm and yer good ta go. I'm not here to judge. I am here to ask questions so I can learn.)

But these people also demand to be a part of group so they can exclude other people. Groupthink. Age is a good way to divide people. It just so happens that we all get the same amount of time for one rotation of the earth. This makes a good dividing line because it is Terran (not universal).

Sort these rotations into larger segments. Use the rotation of the earth around the sun as another marker. That works. It can be applied Terranly, which makes it even handier.

But why? Why must we look at people in view of how many times the sun has risen and set, the earth rotated around the sun since they began a non-direct parasitic existence (being born)? Why can't people be individuals? Why can't people be considered on their own merits? Why must people be segregated by age?

Convenience. Pure and simple. We make groups, we segregate, we divide because it makes people easier to handle. Handling a group is easier than dealing with an individual because a group can be dismissed as a nebulous entity. Don't know, don't care. Taking it one person at the time puts a face on the prejudice and that's very hard to deal with. Age is a handy segregation tool.

TAKING THE REINS

After all this writing, I think I have the reason.

Control.

A person, with access to the correct medical processes, can change gender physically. A person can control whom he or she has relationships with.

This artificial marker of age is something that can't be controlled. We all age. We age at the same rate. One Terran year for a gay, left-handed, redheaded, transgendered stepchild from Mongolia is the same Terran year for you and me. We cannot control it. We all age, based on our time units, at the same rate.

No control.

But we want to. We must. We have to. We can effect control by creating segregation, boundaries, exclusionary limits based on age. We've got to have our hand on the reins of this runaway carriage, never mind we ain't got a prayer of stopping it; we're getting older.

The artificial division by age gives you the appearance of control. You aren't in control.

Age allows every one on the planet to point a finger at everyone else and say "You're different."

Age allows you to be prejudiced and baised on this shared reality we call time.

But, does that make being prejudiced right?

In search of privilege

White privilege. I have it. Didn't ask for it. Not sure how I am using it. I am assured on a daily basis that I have it. Also told emphatically that I am using it and it's wrong.

Ask how I'm using it. Get lots and lots and lots of generic examples.

Repeat question. Ask for the answer to be specific to me. Greeted with silence.

OK. In case you missed the second statement, I repeat - I have white privilege. Admitted. Mea culpa. Mea nota understanda completely either, but hey, guilty as charged. Sentence as you see fit. Ignorance of reality is no excuse.

So now let's truck on down this road. Please, read the link. Cool story and you'll need it to follow what I write below..

We shall play linebacker and tackle LL Hutcherson's points point by point. Also, it is necessary to point out the conventions that back me into a corner. Against my wishes, I use the words "white," "black" and possibly other colors to refer to people. I abhor this kind of classification. However, it's the only thing some people WILL understand. To get down to that level of comprehension, yeah, I have to.

Let's talk about Black Privilege. Yup. I just went there.

1) Well, yeah. Welcome to life in the South. We're told do not make a fuss. Bear up. Handle it. Men especially are told to suck it up, shut it up and rub some dirt in it.

2) Have the Chairman of your County Commission go on TV and call you a liar because you quoted him accurately, in context and fully and he caught political heat over it. Have respected members of your community go before the City Council and call you a liar. Just two of many examples. Then, come talk to me.

1) (again) I grew up in the rural South on a farm. We didn't have neighborhoods. My nearest neighbor was a half mile away. The next, a mile. As a young'un, I played at my friends' homes no matter where they lived or who they were when I could get there. Skin color was irrelevant. Friends is what mattered. 

2) (again) I've received far more racial epithets than I ever hurled. Ms. Hutcherson says, "if you’ve never had a defining moment in your childhood or your life, where you realize your skin color alone makes other people hate you, you have white privilege." Ah. So when "black" people hated on me, I guess that was "black" privilege.

I was on the receiving end of hate plenty of times because I lived on a farm and people thought I was rich and landed gentry. Wasn't. Had to deal with the hate because people (of all colors) resented me. How is this ethnically/racially/geographically/economically hate categorized?

3) Been the "only" one in many situations. It has been pointed out. How is this kind of privilege is categorized?

4) Yep, have been accused of being on the receiving end of something that was taken away from someone who deserved it. More than once. How is this privilege categorized?

5) My intellectual capabilities are regularly and routinely questioned. In college, my intellect was regularly called into question because I came from a rural farm. How is this privilege categorized?

6) Can't identify. I grew up with all kinds of role models. Granny Nancy. Obay. Carey. Grandparents. Parents. Jerry, Jerry and Jerry. These people traced their recent ancestry to Europe and Africa. Was also told to read good books, did not matter who wrote 'em. So, I read good books by authors from around the planet. Is this privilege?

7) Ah. It's only racist when "patronizing and racist assumptions" are directed at "black" people? If that's the case, can't identify. I have been places and had meals where patronizing and racist remarks were directed at the staff, regardless of their skin color.  What kind of privilege is that?

8) Welcome to life. If you ain't been on the receiving end of this, then you ain't worked in the real world I inhabit. I've been put down by pretty much every "race," creed, "color, " ethnicity and most religious groups out there. How is that privilege defined?

9) Well, damn. In my alter ego Superhero identity of Pedantic Man, you got this one. Can't identify.  Never experienced that.

10) Biased media? And she starts a FB page "Good Black News?" What kind of privilege is that? As for the "mainstream media," been there, done that for 30 years. I have used my "editor's privilege" to beat down employees who objected to my use of pictures and words because they wanted things re-arranged to fit their skewed views. Editor's privilege: I have it. When it comes to the news, I treat everybody equally. The use of words like "Black," "White" and other racial identifiers are ONLY used in quotes directly attributed to someone or as you see here. People are people to me. However, if the interview subject chooses to make such distinctions, I'm ethically bound to report it the way they say it. What kind of privilege is that? How do we define that?

Hutcherson says she gets trolled. 

Hug. A. Root. When people try to kill you for what you write, THEN come talk to me. When people physically attack you for what you write, come talk to me. When people try to set fire to the things you own because of what you write, come talk to me. When people physically attack your business because of what you write, come talk to me. When people threaten to sue you because of what you write, come talk to me. When people threaten to shut your business down because of what you write, come talk to me.

How do you define that privilege?

Privilege? Here's the truth. The same stuff Hutcherson accuses "white" people of is also found in "black" people. I've experienced it.

How about acknowledging that?

I suspect that some people who read this article are going to hurl invectives, insults and diatribes. They will resort to insults instead of attempting to explain.

What kind of privilege is that?

A lil story about Bob and Fred and Joe and Marvin and ...

—This is a true story. The names are changed to protect the guilty, the innocent and those who status remains to be seen. Quotes are modified, but the semantics are 100 percent accurate.—

Fred runs the place. —You can call it a feudal society, if you like. That's not 100 percent accurate, but it's so close you're going to need an electron microscope to see the difference.—

Fred gets up one morning and decides that everyone has to give him part of everything they own. A small fraction really. Not much.

But they have to give it to  him.

Bob says, "Nah. Ain't gonna do that. Don't want to. Don't need to."

Bob and Fred are best of friends.

Fred goes to Bob and says "Where's my stuff? You owe me. I want what you owe me."

Fred says, "Bob. How long have we known each other? I'm not giving you my stuff just because you tell me I have to. That is freekin' stupid."

Bob says, "Well, yeah. You're right."

And Bob keeps everything he has.

Fred goes to Joe. "Give me my stuff," he says. "Give me what I told you to give me."

Joe sees what happened to Bob and also says no.

"Well, I'm going to give you time to think about it," Fred says.

He goes to Marvin. "Give me my stuff," he says. "Give me what I told you to give me."

Marvin, who is not stupid, knows what happened to Bob and Joe. He says the same thing as Bob and Joe.

Fred beats Marvin into a greasy spot. Fred then drags Marvin to his house and chains him up in the basement. Fred takes everything Marvin has.

Bob and Joe see this. They approve. Other people see this and also approve. Fred is called a great leader.

—I remind you, this is 100 percent true. It happened. Recently. I could show you this in the news to prove it but I shan't.—

The greatest athlete

This is an odd topic for me. I don't care about professional sports and care little about sports in general, but I'm stilling writing this one.

Pick the greatest human athlete ever. Who is your pick? Why?

Before I tell you my pick, which will surprise you, let's look at what makes a great athlete.

Stamina - Got to be able to go the distance and then some. Overtime matters.

Talent - Well, yeah. Gotta have that in extremely large amounts.

Dedication - Frankly dedication will cover gaps in talent to get an athlete to certain places, but without talent, the athlete will never rise to the very top.

Coaching - Yep. Gotta have a good coach. Been covering high school sports now for nearly 30 years. Coaches matter. I rank coaches as important as talent. All the talent in the world won't get you anywhere if you don't know how to use it. At the same time, a truly great coach can develop innate talent to the full extent.

Intellect - Don't have to be a rocket scientist, but an average IQ? Maybe. But the top athlete must have a very high "sports IQ" or he's not going to get far.

Size - Size matters. But what matters more are the above items. Of course the top echelon can't be missing one meal from starvation nor can they be the size of a mountain.

Determination - I see this as different from dedication. Determination is the willingness to sacrifice. Dedication is the willingness to practice.

Physical ability - By this I mean able to get knocked down, get up and keep going and deliver punishment in return.

Camaraderie - A truly top athlete has to know he's not getting there by himself. He's part of a team effort.

Coordination - Well, yeah, but it's important below, so I list it.

Probably more need to be listed, but that's as far as I'm taking this.

Lemme give you one criteria that is not reflected above - the ability to perform well in other sports.

So my top pick?

Wayne Greztsky. He is the greatest pro hockey player the world has ever seen.

Why? Look at hockey.

It combines heavy physical activity and impacts (football, wrestling, rugby).

It combines endurance and stamina (running sports, basketball, lacrosse).

It has hand-eye coordination (baseball, basketball).

It has strength and physical agility. It's done on ice with skates!

As for the other qualifiers, anyone who says Greztsky doesn't have those in abundance does not know much about the man.

In the world of sports, very few have managed to cross from one to another and be a success. Many have tried. Babe Ruth was great at baseball and wrestling. Basketball? I seriously doubt it.

If you took Greztsky from hockey and moved him to another sport, I believe he could adapt and be one of the few who could cross over and be very good. I also say he could move to yet a third sport and be very good. A fourth? Yes.

There is no other sport that combines and demands as much from an athlete as pro hockey. Remember, Hockey has no regular breaks in the action like so many other sports. Yes, it has stopped for penalties and timeouts, but so do other sports. 

Basketball is nonstop action, but basketball does not see players body-checked nearly as hard as hockey.  The physical violence in hockey is on par with pro football. The necessary stamina is on the same level as marathon runners.

Ok. Argument started. Gimme your pick and the reasons!

Jack & rack

It's not universal, but a lot of people say the best weapon for home defense is a shotgun. Of those who agree, most say a pump shotgun is best.

I'm in that crowd for non-lethal reasons.

You read that correctly. Non. Lethal. As in no one dies.

Before I go any further, I ask how many of you who poo-poo the idea or say I've lost mind have killed another human being?

Ah.

How many of you have been involved in an actual gunfight?

Ah.

How many of you have had to use a gun, whether fired or not, in self defense?

Ah.

Could you kill someone? How would it affect you? It is seriously NOT easy to get over forcing someone to take a dirt nap.

This is why I say non lethal, even with a shotgun.

Listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2Gz-A-XO8w

Jack & rack. That sound is not something you hear in nature. So far as I know, it's a found made by only one device, a pump shotgun being cycled.

A burglar breaks into your house. He hears that. He either has a fecal hemorrhage or keeps coming. If he needs to change his pants, then you have eliminated the threat, no shots fired. If you hear screams, you yell instructions, based on what you hear.

You might be drawing on a family member. Think about that.

If he keeps coming and you hear nothing, you know you are committed to killing someone.

You shoot to kill. Anyone who hears that sound and keeps coming is not there for good reasons. They intend harm.

You shoot to kill. Dead people cannot shoot back.

You shoot to kill. Dead people cannot testify in court.


While I'm here, I also suggest the Mossberg 500 series or the Remington 870 series as the best choice for home defense. The 20 gauge is ideal. My HD is a Mossberg 500 (and I truly believe having this gun is what kept me and my family from being killed 2.5 years ago) in 12 gauge. It doubles as a hunting and sporting shotgun. It's responsible for my only deer kill with a shotgun. Susan prefers it to her own Browning pump for shooting skeet.

Circle the women and protect the wagons! We're being invaded!

Blame today's missive on a recent post by me bud Paul.

I'm terrified of the growing trend of ideological isolationism, and yet swamped with the same urge to protect myself from the constant effluent tide of ignorant ejaculations from so many.

“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

― George Carlin

Very sad...

Very sad indeed. Terrifying at the same time.

Thanks to the Internet, and social media in particular, the human race is now more isolated than it has been in centuries.

Someone will decry this and say "I have friends all over the planet!"

Your friends list is composed of carbon copies of you. Skin tones may differ. Joggerfee will definitely differ. What you drive, what you eat and other things will differ. But when it comes to the fundaments, yeah, carbon copy. You have the same weltanschauung.

You disagree? And what are their views on the world, macro and micro. Do they ever vehemently disagree with you? Do they ever say things that make you want to swear and throw things? (A few of my friends are now pointing at me and nodding. Back atcha.)

How many people have you dropped and blocked? Why?

Ahhhhhhhh. You punt people out of your online life because you won't tolerate their views. They are idiots and should be purged. Sign them up for a Darwin Awards challenge!

How many people have blocked you for the same reasons?

Way to be diverse. Way to be open. Way to expand your horizons and your mind. Didja feel the sarcasm?

You are entitled to ask who I've blocked and why.

I block people who attack other people in the threads on my pages. No ad hominem. Shred the argument, I love it. Make me think. I tolerate attacks on me more than other folks in my threads. Attack me too many times, you're gone.

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." - Attributed without cause to Eleanor Roosevelt.

I block people who won't control their language. Profanity has a place and time. Yes, some research shows that people who swear are creative and have a bigger vocabulary than those who do not swear. Eviscerating animals as part of the butchering process has a place and time too.

Know also, I have blocked one person, after a lot of long and deep thought. This is someone I know personally and have known for many years. This person is no longer welcome in my real life either. I do not share the reasons, but will say this was not a step I took lightly. I'm not interested in hosting a human parasite.

My online friends (and real life) list contains people who are diametrically opposed to my core values. They make me think. I make them think. We learn from each other. I cherish them.

"I never learned from a man who agreed with me." - Robert A. Heinlein

GIMME WHAT I KNOW

Google "travel broadens" and look at the results you get. All of them point to an expansion of the cerebral organ. (Travel broadens the mind.)

Most of the people I know love to physically visit new places. See new people. Experience new food. See new things. Do new stuff. Come back with tales of adventure and wonder and delight. Yes, a few folks I know prefer to never physically leave their caves. I don't get this. It's been explained to me and I still don't get it.

At the same time, too many of these people who love to go off and different places also hate the idea.

They look for the familiar. They demand it. If they don't get it, they get bent.

Steve Martin once quipped, "You never appreciate your language until you go to a foreign country that doesn't have the courtesy to speak English."

And then, there are the complainers who find them furrin parts is just a bit too furrin.

Too many people treat social media the exact same way. Gotta have the familiar. Gotta have the known. Got to have what we know, what we like and what we're comfortable with. Anything else, nope, nope, nope. Can't be having with stuff that challenges the belief structure.

Isolate yourself if you wish. Stay in your cave. Eliminate people who challenge you. Only associate with people who agree with you.

Stagnate.

MIND FOOD

Circle up and prepare your defenses because who knows what those fast-moving riders will do when they get here. They might rape the wagons, pillage the women and burn the sheep.

Gear grinding in 3... 2 ... 1-

The cartoon genius Gary Larson was once described as "anchovy pizza for the mind." How apt.

I'm looking for a place that serves deep-fried anchovy-jalopena-durian. Who's with me?

Ah, there's the clutch!

Those riders coming in fast? I'm gonna go out there and see what they want. Might learn something. Might get killed. I just know that my life is going to be a lot richer than yours because I'm trying to experience that which is truly new to me. They might have deep-fried anchovy-jalopena-durian gyros. 

Slammin'

Dunno where the idea of a "slam" originated when it means to achieve a goal. Not gonna look it up either, but I suspect in baseball with a grand slam homer.

Regardless, a slam has expanded. It's now part of the hunting world. There are various kinds of slams. A Grand Slam is getting all of the major variants of a single species of critter.  Some say it has to be done in a single season. I don't. I think if you get at least one of each of the subspecies, then you have a grand slam.

This guy almost got a grand slam. I say almost because he's missing one. This one.

I don't intend to try to beat his accomplishment. I have my own slam in mind - a weapons slam. It's my goal to put meat on the table with one of every major class of weapon. What kind of meat is not important. What is important is the weapons used.

Today, I realized much to my chagrin, I am 4 short of a Grand Slam, not 3.

Lemme run down the accomplishment list and the 3 I previously thought as the only missing weapons. See if you can figure out the one I skipped.

Hands - I have put meat on the table after dispatching the main course with my bare hands.

Knife - Sometimes, ya can't use a gun and supper is too big to take out with with bare hands unless you are Bruce Lee.

Air gun - Yep. Poppped squirrel and rabbits for the pot with a pellet rifle. First rabbit I ever killed. Was sitting on the tractor in the middle of the road. Saw a rabbit in the field. Took him out. Greatly surprised Dad.

Handgun - Rabbits, turtles, hogs, deer, coon. Rimfire and centerfire.

Shotgun - Well, yeah. I gotta shotgun, rifle and a four wheel drive and this country boy can survive. Birdshot, buckshot and slugs.

Rifle - Longest confirmed kill, 130 yards. The 8 point is on the wall and I am looking at him as I type. Kills with rimfire and centerfire. Largest animal I ever killed, 1,500 pounds, dropped in tracks with a single shot from a .22 rimfire.

Muzzleloader - Popped a hog with a .45 cap & ball. Wounded it. Finished it with a shotgun. Does that count? OK, then the deer I dropped in his tracks with a frontstuffer will count. As does the buffalo.

Bow - I am one of the few hunters to kill more than one rattlesnake with a bow & arrow and then eat the snakes.

Vehicle - Not a weapon you say? Ok. Not a weapon. Still, I have clobbered various and sundry critters and picked up a few of them for supper.

What 3 did I need before I remembered the 4th? I give you a hint on the 4th. Pneumatic.

Sling - I'm good with a hand spun sling or a rubber-banded slingshot to meet this category. Expect this to be a rabbit or squirrel. YMMV. I am looking at a Whisker Biscuit on a stout slingshot. Shoot an arrow instead of a pellet.

Spear - Hog is #1 on the agenda followed by deer, maybe a gator. If necessary, a big bullfrog. Frog legs are quite tasty. Maybe a fish, flounder, salmon, stingray. Lots of options here.

Sword - Pretty self explanatory. Most likely this will be a hog kill. As I am not into cannibalism, my daughter's ex boyfriends are safe, at least from being turned into BBQ.

Someone is going to say "crossbow." That's just a bow mounted to a gun stock. Got my gun and bow kills. My list, my rules. YMMV.

An atlatl is just a supercharged spear.

Got it yet? It is used for hunting.

As it happens, I do have this weapon around here (somewhere). It is lethal. It is regulated in some places. It is the easiest to make (except for fire-hardened wood tip spear) and very likely the hardest to make a kill with. Hands are not made, so they don't count.

Another hint - whoosh. One more hint:



Got it yet?

The 4th weapon I need to use to achieve a weapons grand slam is - a blowgun. Bonus points to you if you figure out the three clues. If you can't message me. This kill will be a bird, frog or squirrel most likely.

A Super Grand Slam is you make all the weapons and then kill something with 'em. I'd love to do that, but don't have the megabucks to invest in boring and rifling barrels from blank stock for a handgun, shotgun, a rifle and a muzzleloader.

ADDENDUM

29 Nov. 2016

Driving around town today I realized I goofed again. I am just 3 short of a weapons grand slam. I've taken food critters with a spear. Speared fish in a pond.

So just need 3 more.

Tales from the Bananananna - some questions for y'all

Just took a survey at YouGov about school busses. Some interesting questions. So now, I ask you.

What can we do to make busses safer?

We have a disco worth of lights that go off when we flip switches to stop to collect or drop kids off.  People still zoom past. We have digital video cameras. But getting oncoming traffic car tags in the morning before the sun is up is next to impossible. Passing from behind, gottem nailed.

Would you like a tracking system? Log on to a website and see where the bus is on the route. GPS tracking.

Would you like live video from the bus?

Should a parent be standing outside before any child 3rd grade (or you pick the age) or younger is dropped off?

Would you like an automatic text message system telling parents if the bus is running late?

How long should a child be on the bus? Bear in mind in some very large rural counties, it may take 30+ minutes of straight driving to get from house to school.

Now how would you pay for all this without taking resources away from educating the chitlins?

Riding a bus today is far different from when I did it. Kids today do things that would have gotten me in SO much trouble years ago. Parents today just ignore it or say their child didn't do it. Show the video, they still say their child didn't do it. How would you handle this?

They are coming

As Rebel recently posted, "Your opinion is invalid or REALITY CHECK!"

Time for a reality check.

For those of you who have problems separating fact from opinion, I have neatly broken this post into sections.

FACT - This is reality. The world in which we live. This is what happens, whether you, I or the clown behind you who just ducked around the corner so you can't see him, like it. You may deny it. Reality is under no obligation to conform itself to your expectations.

OPINION - This is what I think about it. It is based on a fact, but of itself, it is not a fact. Your opinion may differ. I support your right to your opinion. I do not have to agree with your opinion to support your right to have it.

THE OPENING PARAGRAPH/POST - May or may not be fact or opinion. It starts the discussion. In this case, one onus is on me to prove it is fact. Another onus is on you to prove it is opinion.

Saddle up, Pancho. WE RIDE!

OP: Some of them are coming to take our guns. 

FACT: This is public, government-funded housing in Birmingham. That means everyone has an equal right of opportunity and access. Yes, this kind of housing does have income limits and a few other restrictions. This agency cannot infringe on the Constitutional rights of the residents. The Rules.

OPINION: Fair enough. If you can afford a house on the open market, live there and let someone who can't, have the public housing.

FACT: "The Second Amendment protects an individual right to possess a firearm unconnected with service in a militia, and to use that arm for traditionally lawful purposes, such as self-defense within the home." Heller v. DC.

OPINION: A 20 gauge pump action shotgun is the best weapon for home defense.

FACT: People who live in public housing sometimes have their HOME in that housing unit.

OPINION: Home is where the heart is. A building can be a house. A tent can be a home.

FACT: Government has restricted gun ownership repeatedly. The 1934 Firearms Act required a special tax to own a certain category of firearms. The 1968 gun control act added more restrictions. Even more restrictions were signed into law by Ronald Reagan. The "assault weapon" ban did expire, but it was the law of the land. Efforts to renew this ban have repeated cropped up. Bans and restrictions are in place in a number of states.

OPINION: A mountain is not moved in a single day. Over the course of years, it can be flattened. Incremental advances are still advances.

FACT: Government has taken guns away in the past. "The local police superintendent ordered all weapons, including legally registered firearms, confiscated from civilians. But as theTimes noted, that order didn't "apply to hundreds of security guards hired by businesses and some wealthy individuals to protect property…[who] openly carry M-16's and other assault rifles." Mother Jones. Connecticut.

OPINION: An isolated incident? A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

FACT: Yes, Virginia, there are people who really do want to take away guns, all of them. The Daily Beast. Salon. Petitions. An actual bill presented in Congress.

OPINION: These people don't truly understand what they are trying to do.

FACT: Many bills are introduced in Congress. Few ever get traction to get anywhere.

OPINION: Persistence pays.

FACT: You have the empirical evidence. You may treat this as you wish.

OPINION: Martin Niemöller.

Hate on your terms only

Lemme make this clear up front.

I am privileged, but not in the way you happen to be thinking right now. I am privileged because of my chosen vocation. My industry is the ONLY one mentioned in the US Constitution. My business is the ONLY one afforded protections under the Constitution. My chosen way of making a living has stood up more times than I can count to legal challenges from every direction.

Yes. I am privileged. As a professional wordsmith (or as Rebel calls it, a language prostitute. I write you long time), I am privileged. I can write what I want. No one can legally force me to write anything. You come to me and want me to write vows for your marriage? I can tell you to get stuffed, if I want to. You have to accept that. Have to. Want me to write anything for you? I can tell you to fold your writing request and insert it in my choice of your body orifice. You must accept this. Must.

I can refuse to write for any reason at all. There are only a very few other professions that have similar guarantees, but none are ensconced in the Constitution.

This makes me sad.

As a professional writer, I have protections so many other people in business do not have. I think these rights and privileges I enjoy should be greatly extended to bakers, shoemakers, computer repair shops, furniture stores, grocery stores, day care centers, roof contractors and so forth.

Ok, THAT outta the way, here's the grindstone and ax du jour.

THIS AIN'T NO DAMNED CAKE

Redlining.

Redlining as an official government policy is now illegal. As it should be. Government should be equal access to everybody. Government is not private business.

However, redlining still exists. Traditionally it is applied to mortgages. In the Detroit area, it still applies to home loans. It's just not government policy. It is a business decision.

Redlining in a broader sense is, well, broader.

As this story notes, redlining even extends to WHERE people will set up a business.

Whacha gonna do? Gonna sue the mortgage companies? Gonna sue the business owner for NOT putting his operation in a certain neighborhood? Hello?

RALLY THE MOB BOYS! WE RIOT!

Gonna sharpen the torches and light the pitchforks 'cause a baker says no! When the business owner won't even open a business... When a mortgage company redlines a neighborhood...

"Well, that's a business decision," you say.

So is baking or not baking a cake.

"But being gay is not a choice," you say.

Who said anything about being gay or not? We're talking business decisions.

Lemme juuuuuust point out mortgage lenders have reams of regulations they must follow. Bakers have a notebook.

HATERS GONNA CHOOSE

But to the point, is it ok to hate because of choice?

"People should be held accountable for the choices they make," you say.

HUZZAH! Now, we agree.

Is it OK to force someone to do something they are opposed to?

"Yes, if they refuse–"

Careful there! Loose your grip, Damocles, and your head comes off. And, uh, don't bring up "gay" again, m'Kay, 'cause that's a dead issue for me. Peoples is peoples and what two (or more) consenting adults do to and with each other ain't none yo bidnez and ain't none my bidnez.

"Well if you'd let me finish. Yes, if they refuse to serve someone because of their race or religion or gender, that's wrong. They need to serve everyone."

Everyone? Nah. Will let you slide on that one.

But am pointing out your body parts you just lopped off. When will you be storming the mortgage broker offices and demand they start making loans in neighborhoods populated by ethnic minorities? When will you be beating down a businessman's doors because he refused to open shop on "that" side of the tracks?

When will YOU stop discriminating and spread the hate evenly? Or will you keep discriminating and be like the people you claim to despise?

You got time for that?

DE FACTO MEANS THAT'S THE WAY IT IS

This is discrimination, as repeatedly proven. It's de facto discrimination based on non-choice matters of enthicity and country of recent ancestry and discrimination based on choice of where someone lives.

Hate is easy when you have a well-defined target. Ain't so easy when your own views create a smoke screen to hide the other stuff that is far more egregious.

Let's pick on Detroit s'more. Here's the story that sparked me.

“Independents like ourselves have to make a business decision as to whether or not we choose to make that investment in certain communities,” he said. He pointed to a combination of the costs of regulatory compliance, and disinterest from brokers in marketing to areas where the homes are super cheap. “It’s difficult to make a loan of that size and earn an appropriate amount of income.”

In other words "I don't wanna" is the only reason. "I don't wanna" was enough to make so many of you rise in righteous anger to shut down bakeries. But when a person can't get a home...

Ain't nobody got time for that!

I may be wrong – correction, based on what so many of you show by your actions, I am wrong – but I happen to think that a home to live in is more important on the order of galactic magnitudes than any cake. Yet this story about the mortgage business and redlining has been knocking around the news for longer than any freekin' cake. Outrage much?

Nah. Because it has to be hate on your terms. Hate the baker, stage protetsts, shut 'em down and make their lives hell. But take on the mortgage companies?

"Ummm, we've gotta go over here and whine about Middle Eastern refugee rights. Can't be concerned with folks who can't get a mortgage," you say.

HATERS GONNA HYPOCRITE

Hate, but on your terms. Hate those who are different with different opinions and a different belief structure. Hate those who do things that really don't matter. Hate over a cake? But you can't be bothered when someone can't get a mortgage to buy a house BECAUSE OF WHERE THEY LIVE?

(insert your choice of string of profanities here)

PAGING MR. SWIFT, PAGING MR. JONATHAN SWIFT

Yassee, as with most things, there is a simple solution here.

YOU open a bakery.
YOU open a mortgage company.
YOU offer the services and goods you keep whining about.
YOU be the difference you want to see in the world.

Rather than demand someone else do it, YOU do it.

Money talks. Bullshit walks.

Keyboard warriors? What ya gonna do?

Hate on your terms? Or say "Ain't got time for hate, gotta make a positive difference in this world" and then GET UP AND DO SOMETHING!

Y'ain't gonna do it staring at a screen.

Next time you decide to rip someone a new one because of their discrimination, ask yourself "who am I discriminating against?" Hate is hate, no matter who spews it or in what direction.

Me? I am officially discriminating against people who rise in ire over the idiotic cause du jour while completely ignoring the real issues. Conduct yourself accordingly and go find someone else to write your stuff. I ain't got time for that.

The woo factor

Back in 2011, I was hired to write a press release for "the enlightened K u n d a l i n i    K r i y a    Y o g a     Master    Y o g i r a j    G u r u n a t h    S i d d h a n a t h."

I spelled his name with spaces so Google won't trip on his name and show this blog. Can't be having clients track me down later to rip my head off because I expose them as Uri Geller types.

Woo Master Yogi Smith, as I call him cause I cannot pronounce his names, promised that 2012 was a "year of change."

Among the quotes in the article is this one:

“It is time for the second advent. It is time for the second advent of the Christ who was one with Krishna,” he says. “The 5,000 year cycle is complete and it is time for him to come to clear the negativity of the world and balance all creation.”

I did not make up that quote. Every quote in that press release (which has inexplicably vanished from the Internet) was supplied by Yogi Master Woo Smith. This is odd. Normally when I write press releases for hire (I am a word hooker. I write you long time), I make up quotes. Not this one.

Yogi Master Swami Smith also said 2012 was the end of 350 million year cycle and a 5,000 year cycle.

Lotta cycling going on there.

He said it would take a few years for things to get straightened out and those years would be marked by "turmoil." Some "souls" have to leave earth. Only said the souls would be "taken." Did not say how.

Makes me wonder if he was predicting the 2016 presidential election.

Here is some babble I generated from the information he sent about a psychic hoedown he planned in NYC - " Participants can expect to reach into the fifth dimension on a journey of blissful tranquility and crystal clarity. The experience will deliver a thoughtless awareness of the mind."

Yeah. I wrote that bit.

So, did anyone attend the free mental shindig in NYC? Did anyone get "thoughtless awareness of the mind?"

Other than Trump and Clinton, that is.

The woo factor

Back in 2011, I was hired to write a press release for "the enlightened K u n d a l i n i    K r i y a    Y o g a     Master    Y o g i r a j    G u r u n a t h    S i d d h a n a t h."

I spelled his name with spaces so Google won't trip on his name and show this blog. Can't be having clients track me down later to rip my head off because I expose them as Uri Geller types.

Woo Master Yogi Smith, as I call him cause I cannot pronounce his names, promised that 2012 was a "year of change."

Among the quotes in the article is this one:

“It is time for the second advent. It is time for the second advent of the Christ who was one with Krishna,” he says. “The 5,000 year cycle is complete and it is time for him to come to clear the negativity of the world and balance all creation.”

I did not make up that quote. Every quote in that press release (which has inexplicably vanished from the Internet) was supplied by Yogi Master Woo Smith. This is odd. Normally when I write press releases for hire (I am a word hooker. I write you long time), I make up quotes. Not this one.

Yogi Master Swami Smith also said 2012 was the end of 350 million year cycle and a 5,000 year cycle.

Lotta cycling going on there.

He said it would take a few years for things to get straightened out and those years would be marked by "turmoil." Some "souls" have to leave earth. Only said the souls would be "taken." Did not say how.

Makes me wonder if he was predicting the 2016 presidential election.

Here is some babble I generated from the information he sent about a psychic hoedown he planned in NYC - " Participants can expect to reach into the fifth dimension on a journey of blissful tranquility and crystal clarity. The experience will deliver a thoughtless awareness of the mind."

Yeah. I wrote that bit.

So, did anyone attend the free mental shindig in NYC? Did anyone get "thoughtless awareness of the mind?"

Other than Trump and Clinton, that is.