A new religion is created

Stranger in a Strange Land. SISAL to those of who read it.

Today is 15 Monday 2025. (I am editing this on 19 Sept. 2025)

This afternoon I finished a blog about violence -https://porkbrainsandmilkgravy.blogspot.com/2025/09/violence-last-resorts-and-necessities.html

Over at Quora, this question JUST popped up in my feed: JD Vance will guest host the TurningPoint USA podcast. Should Vance sit in Charlie's chair or use a different seat? Should he use Charlie's microphone or a different microphone? Thoughts?

These are important in the context of this blog. Lemme link 'em together for you.

IMMEDIATE REACTION

On hearing of the death of Charlie Kirk and finding out more about him, my first reaction was, the dude is now a martyr. I immediately jumped to SISAL and thought about of Mike being ripped to shreds by the crowd and Jubal Harshaw immediately setting plans in motion to buy the ground where Mike was killed. 

I wondered who would try to buy the place where Charlie Kirk was when he was shot. I wondered what kind of shrine will be built to this conservative icon. I wondered and wondered.

Heinlein's magnum opus ranks just below Dune as a commentary on humanity. The Grand Master said he wrote a book to make people think, challenge assumptions and question, hopefully to learn.

Whoa. Now I wonder if Charlie Kirk read SISAL.

RAH's seminal work in his fictional universe also set the stage for a new religion built around the young Valentine Michael Smith. In the book, Harshaw saw it coming and took steps to push the concept forward.

The similarities here are eerie. Of course, there are a metric ton of differences in the specifics. Space travel, real Martians, etc. But the underlying thread... it's just uncanny.

31

Jesus, son of Joseph, was killed in his early 30s.

The first record we have of Jesus doing His ministry was when he was around 12. According to the protestant Bible, there is a gap until he was around 30. That gap is covered in some of the recently discovered scrolls. A lot of people discount those works. Of course, a lot of people discount the entire Bible.

Charlie launched his work around age 18.

Charlie was killed at age 31.

The Charlie Kirk radio show started in 2020. His first TV appearance was in 2012.

He died in 2025.

Trying to tie all that together into something that clearly joins up is also something out of conspiracy theory handbooks. Even stretching the point, the numbers do not line up.

And? Too many "conspiracy" theories are proving true for me to be a complete atheist about 'em.

What if, as Lara asked, this was meant to be? Christians believe Jesus was meant for death even before He was born. And Charlie? If there is a being in charge of creation, we have to accept that possibility.

VIOLENCE

Jesus, like so many other leaders in history, was persecuted by both the government and by the people around Him. His message was radical, offensive to many and presented a very real challenge to the status quo.

A lot of people disagreed with Jesus. They wanted nothing to do with him. They wanted him gone, as in leave town or die.

So it is with true bastions of peace and change. Those who really sought the least violent ways of change, those who wanted people to really look into themselves, they were pariahs to the intelligentsia and the leaders.

Charlie? Much Exactly the same thing.

Conspiracy theorists started almost immediately. This was some kind of plot by a group to kill this man. Some pointed to an actual government conspiracy. No evidence, but evidence doesn't matter to true believers. Some say it was part of a national left-wing or right-wing group. Some say the killer was really acting alone.

2000 years later, we know there was a conspiracy to kill Jesus. We know the government was complicit. 

Oh. You thought I was writing about Charlie. 

You are correct. I wrote about both.

As of this writing, we don't know all the particulars. About which one? Both.

Just as a religion grew around Jesus, well, the stage is certainly set, as Lara says. Centuries from now Charlie Kirk and his legacy and record certainly may become the stuff of religion.

When I heard he was killed and did a bit of research, I immediate concluded some people will turn this man (you pick which one) into a saint. Is he a saint? Jesus is not; He is more than a saint. Charlie? Ehhhh. 

The Catholic Church has a process for canonization. Jesus was not a Catholic. Charlie, not being a Catholic, won't be honored by the Church of Rome. Of course, the Catholic Church also does not speak for all Christians. It does not even speak for a majority of Christians. Increasingly, it does not speak for all Catholics.
https://www.ncronline.org/news/opinion/opposition-pope-francis-rooted-rejection-vatican-ii

WRONG

He appealed to people to provide real evidence that he was wrong. If he was wrong, he promised to change.

Look at how he talked to with people. I have talked to people who said they did not agree with everything he said. These people did say they loved the way he talked, drawing in people from everywhere and having a kind, forthright and honest discussion with them. No insults, no invective, just two friends finding common ground and building on that.

No wonder he was killed.

Which one? Yes.

Charlie challenged people to think. Charlie challenged people to look at the real world, the real facts and most importantly, themselves.

No wonder he was killed.

Charlie gave hope to many people. Some people will not tolerate that. 

No wonder he was killed.

Charlie wanted people to live a better life. Some people cannot stand the idea of people being allowed to chart their own course unless it adheres to what they dictate. These are the people hurling vitriol at the memory of Charlie Kirk.

No wonder he was killed.

Charlie tried to bring joy to a world in desperate need of it.

No wonder he was killed.

Charlie wanted to bring an end to pain.

No wonder he was killed.

Charlie Kirk was the kind of radical that a society of sheep will not tolerate.

No wonder he was killed.

So was Jesus.

All the criticism I have read of Charlie Kirk is from people who twist his words, warp them and insist they really know what Charlie was saying. Put Charlie's words in context and every. single. argument. in these lines falls apart. We have enough of his stuff in his own words to put paid to the naysayers.

Attacks on genuine leaders are the price of being a genuine leader. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gncyDkWWY_w (My all time favorite song.)

POOH-POOH

Today, we may pooh-pooh the idea of all this lining up in a certain way.

200 years from now? 300, 400 years? 

Consider all the records we have of Charlie. What will people centuries from now think about this?

Charlie Kirk stands a very good chance of becoming a religious icon, as Lara said.

WORMHOLES

I was headed that way in my thinking about this. Maybe I'da made it there. Maybe not. Lots of idea germinate, get started and go into a sort of stasis. This blogsite has lots of half-completed ideas. I may finish them. I may not. (I'm done with this, 19 Sept. 2025.)

For this one, thanks to Lara, I rolled through a Lara-cut space-time wormhole of thought process and reached the conclusion I needed to complete this. It is a conclusion I may have never reached on my own.

As she and I talked earlier this same day I said, "I gotta write this."

"Really?"

"Really."

"You'll send me a copy?"

"Of course."

"Wow. I gave you something to write,"

Indeed.

TWO addenda

Got 2 items to add that are only tangentially connected to the above. I wanna say it. My blog. I make the rules.

Today, I saw a Washington Post columnist was fired for remarks she made about Charlie's work. Who was it? You can go look that up.

At first, I was infuriated. So, I did some reading.

My fury abated, turned to confusion, shifted into disappointment and finally into satisfaction.

The fundament of journalism is accuracy.

Get.

It.

Right. 

You can be arrogant. You can even be late (sometimes). You can be opinionated. You can be many things.

You. Can. Not. Be. Wrong.

This columnist was racist. While I do not like that, I would not silence the voice. I know many who want to.

This writer was anti gun. Again, don't like it, but opinions must be shared. I repeat - Opinions must be shared. I know many who would silence such voices.

This journalist was definitely well past the moderate left. Hey. We need people like that just like we need people like Charlie Kirk, that InfoWars idiot and others.

I know many who believe radicals should be shut down completely.

This employee - correction - former employee of one of the nation's most prestigious newspapers had no problem in taking direct quotes and changing them to fit her narrative and offer that as fact. I saw it in her posts which I then went and checked against verified records.

These were not honest mistakes. She crafted deliberate distortions of easily verified facts.

Oh, hell no.

Don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya!

Meantime, this person who used to be a journalist is now spinning the story so she is a victim. If you read her work, you will say, "Yep, knew that was gonna happen."

That she was fired in once place, canceled in another, not her fault. It is oppression in her view.

In other words, she refuses to accept responsibility for her own actions. 

I'll betcha Charlie would have talked with her like they were friends since they were toddlers. She would have tried to tear him down, as she's done in her post-assassination writings. He would have reasoned, encouraged and offered help.

No wonder he was killed.

Free speechifying (19 Sept. 2025 addenda)

One of the late night TV show hosts was also canned. The left is all splodey heads right now over free speechifying

His firing was a business decision. 

Was that decision influenced by the government? Maybe. The government does issue broadcast licenses. Those licenses come with a LOT of controls.
https://govfacts.org/federal/fcc/how-the-fcc-controls-your-phone-tv-and-internet/

Here's something the Left and the Right will not tell you - Gummint control over content on cable, satellite TV and the Internet is massively less, almost nonexistent.. You can stream adult porn online over cable TV the Internet and via satellite. Legal. Can't get that on broadcast TV. 

It is illegal to stream child porn; I really need permission to personally deal with child molesters. I'll need more small caliber, low-power ammo. Donations will cover that.

Anyway, that fired TV person was watched by massively more people over cable, satellite and Internet than via broadcast TV. 

It. Was. A. Business. Decision.

Here's something else they won't tell you. The right to free speech also means government cannot force you to say, produce, publish (whatever) anything. You do not have to provide space for speech you disagree with. You can say no and the speakers have to leave.

Yes. 1A and 5A are in tandem on this. I can prove this to you and will, if pushed.

Also, those bitching about that TV show guy getting canned? They celebrated when Rosanne (however you spell that entity's name) was fired.

In case you don't wonder, I do not like Rose(whatever), the guy who got fired or any of the late night TV comedian/hosts I've had the displeasure to watch.

I may not agree with them being hired or fired, but that business decision is not mine.

Fired

A few years back I had a columnist at the paper. I fired that person.

The person brought in a proposed column that was obviously copied from somewhere. The columnist denied it. I gave the writer a warning - Do not do this again.

A while later, the person brought in another column, obviously copied from another source. I confronted the writer. The person doubled down. Claimed he/she wrote it.

"Then how could I find this exact same article online?"

Shoulders shrugged.

Columnist terminated.

I did not always agree with what this person wrote. Irrelevant. I am all about sharing views that are different from mine. I may learn something!

I did not and will not tolerate intellectual property right theft, as that person did.

Violence, last resorts and necessities

Is violence necessary? Is it ever necessary? Is  "violence is the last refuge of the incompetent" as Isaac Asimov wrote?

Dad thought so. I guess he was incompetent as he resorted to violence sometimes.

I 'spose the best important needed thing is to define violence. Try this on.

Violence is force that cause pain, hurt, harm, injury and even death to another entity. That violence can be physical, mental, emotional, economic or any combination.

If I am wrong, tell me.

Accepted.

EXAMPLE

Let's look at an example of violence.

In 2024, I had a total knee replacement. That was violence committed on my person. The doc and crew nearly cut my leg off.

I wanted it. I was tired of the constant pain and being unable to walk any distance. I could have live with the deteriorating knee. I chose another path, a path of violence.

If a joint replacement is not violence, then I need want demand request to hear your definition of violence.

Enlighten me.

ANOTHER QUESTION

Here is another question. Is it violence only when it is a human being doing it to another human being? Leave the idea of rights out of this. Just want to know about violence.

Can a human commit violence against or on a wombat? Is it violence when a shark bites a human? When a male lion takes over a pride and kills the kits, is that violence?

Share your insights, please.

RUNNING ON ASSUMPTIONS

Running on my assumptions that violence is pain, hurt, harm, injury and even death to another entity, then I ask, is violence necessary?

At this point someone is gonna bring up MLK, Ghandi and other so-called pacifists. I say so-called because maybe they never threw a punch, fired a gun or tore someone apart verbally. They absolutely engaged in violence.

The famous bus boycott was economic violence. https://blackpast.org/african-american-history/1955-martin-luther-king-jr-montgomery-bus-boycott/ It brought a public transit system to its knees. How did this affect the bus drivers? Businesses along the routes.

A lawsuit was filed.https://www.britannica.com/event/Montgomery-bus-boycott A court order was issued. Dunno about you, but where I am from, defying a court order leads to violence. You get arrested, you get fined, your salary gets garnished and so on. Physical and economic violence automatically. The stress of being arrested, having your money taken away also leads to mental and emotional stress, externally inflicted violence.

Beyond that, MLK issued a call for force when speaking on the bus situation. "Standing beside love is always justice, and we are only using the tools of justice. Not only are we using the tools of persuasion, but we’ve come to see that we’ve got to use the tools of coercion."

The online Dictionary defines the word coercion as "the practice of persuading someone to do something by using force or threats: 'our problem cannot be solved by any form of coercion but only by agreement'"

Mmhm.Ghandi? https://wagingnonviolence.org/2013/02/what-gandhi-really-thought-about-guns/ "In truth, Gandhi did not oppose the use of violence in certain circumstances, preferring it to cowardice and submission. Even though Gandhi’s spiritual philosophy of ahimsa rejects violence, it permits the use of violent force if a person is not courageous and disciplined enough to use nonviolence. Gandhi regarded weakness as the lowest human flaw, and would rather see a person use violent force in self-defense than be passive."

Jesus? He said to them, "But now let the one who has a moneybag take it, and likewise a knapsack. And let the one who has no sword sell his cloak and buy one." Luke 22:36. 

GOVERNMENT 

Government is violence. Period. Anything government does, it then assumes the authority to back up with punitive measures against those who resist. No? Gimme an instance of a government action that either does not have direct violence or is backed up by violence.

I'm not gonna wait.

HISTORIC HYPOTHETICALS

If you could, you would go back in time and kill Pol Pot? Stalin? Genghis Khan? How about today? If you could whack the midget running North Korea today, would you?

Would you kill one to save millions?

Margaret Traylor is now deceased. When she was alive she told me she could not kill someone no matter the provocation. She would try to stop them, but lethal force was not an option for her. She had 2 daughters.

What about you? Someone comes to kill you, will you defend yourself? Would you defend others if lethal force was the only way?

Violence. It is unfortunately necessary only because someone will always want to control you against your will. Some of these people cannot be reasoned with. Some of these people will only understand superior force.

It really is free, the delivery, no

People constantly whine at me that the newspaper I run is not free to read online. I also see this whine about other media outlets.

Here is the reality that will cause cognitive dissonance and disconnect in the vast majority of people reading this. Any replies are gonna hilarious.

In other words, splodey heads inbound. 

The information you seek is free. Yes it is. It's 100% free. YOU, yes you, just have to go and get it.

If you want it free, you have to get it all on your own. No help from anyone at all. No resources you do not bring. No resources you did not create from the raw materials you harvested, mined, whatever and shaped into what you need.

This includes the clothes you wear. Yeppers. Someone, not you, had to make those clothes from the raw materials like plant fiber or animal skin.

Aye, there's the rub! No, a little lower. Lower. Lower.

Lemme 'splain this slightly differently. This will also create more splodey heads

IT IS FREE

The water coming through your pipes, that you buy in a store, the electricity powering your domicile, devices and yes, even the fuel that powers whatever you use to get around, all that is free.

Yes. It is. Free. Free. Free. Free.

George, siddown and keep reading.

What you are paying for is the gathering, sorting, storage, delivery and other treatments to and for the things you buy. 

These processes involve a live human being at various points in the supply chain. 

This is what you are paying for, the peoples' work.

You are NOT paying for the whatever it is, unless you hire someone to work. Then, yeah, you are paying for labor.

SUPPLY LINE

Keep up, George. This is not as complicated as you think, or not think as the case may be. Let's follow a supply line.

That electricity is free. It is just electrons. Electrons are everywhere. Your body has more electrons than any thing else down to the atomic level. Lightning and static electricity are electrons.

So why do you get a power bill?

You have to pay for everything that goes into making those electrons flow through the wires. THAT is what you pay for.

An astonishingly short list of what you pay for is:

1. The transmission wires.
2. The poles holding the wires.
3. The pipes for underground wires.
4. Everything at the generating plant.
5. Salaries for people to keep everything working.

This is nowhere near comprehensive. I don't have the inclination to list everything nor are you willing to read an entire dictionary's worth of writing to see that whole list.

SALARY

Splodey head #3 - Salary, wages, pay and even profit.

Eventually everything you are paying for comes down to a salary, wages or profit for someone. In other words, money in someone's pocket. To briefly dip into the evils of Maths, money is the lowest common denominator.

George, you must pay Fred to get and make the things you want to exist.

This is the circle of economics.

Someone is now screaming I am an idiot and have no idea what I am talking about. Likely true.

Prove me wrong.

SPEARMINT

Try this experiment, or spearmint as George says.

Go completely off grid. 100%. 

Do not rely on ANYONE except yourself for everything you need. 

Whatever you think you need, gather the materials yourself and make it.

You can't do it. No. You can't.

Need clothes? Harvest plant fibers and process them. Hunt animals and tan the leather. Each animal, except buffalo and many reptiles, has exactly enough brains to brain-tan the hide. Betcha didn't know that.

Think you need electricity? Build your own generator. Mine the copper and iron ores. Smelt the metals. Cast and draw the parts. Rig the generator to run with flowing water from a creek or a boiler. 

You can exist completely isolated. This is literally possible. It is literally done in the world today.

See Sentinel Island. See the Japanese WWII soldier discovered in islands decades after the war. See the Russian family in Siberia

You can't do what they did and are doing.

Now, show me anything you think is not free, except for labor. I will prove you wrong. 

Workers got bills, yo.

THAT NEWSPAPER

Yeah, the newspaper ain't free to read online.

The information is free.

Another VERY short list of what you pay for with your subscription is:

• Very f'dangin' little profit
• The monthly website fees
• The reporter salaries for gathering the news
• The salaries behind the people doing the website work
• The computers needed to generate the news and transmit it to the webhosting company
• And so on

Eventually all this runs right back to giving another human money to do the work needed to get the information to you.

Everything else is free.

Unless you are slave, in which case your labor is free and your life is forfeit for not working. But that's another Constitution blog, 'cause slavery is still legal in the United States. Yes, huhn. Look it up.

We charge for newspaper access because we have to pay for everything that goes into getting the information to you. The information? Absolutely free. Yer welcome.

Get out of the way already!

D called me this morning. D lives in Washington State. He and I are members of a globe-spanning association. Don't read a lot into that. I am a member of several associations/groups with global membership.

He called to talk about the association, how things are going with it and my role within that association. Mostly he called to talk about what I'm doing and how he wants to help. No complaints, no criticism, just D saying "Lemme help."

Thank you, D.

Anyway, one of the things we touched on is how this association needs to attract younger members. This seems to be an issue everywhere as young folks don't join organized groups as much as their elders did and do. (Egad, it strikes my soul to use the phrase "younger crowd" or "young people.")

One thing he and I agreed on is this association has some older members, around since the beginning, and they are keeping new folks away. Their attitudes are just ... self-righteous, condemning and dismissive.

Potential younger members show up and encounter these attitudes. Their reaction?

"I don't have to deal with this." So saying, if only to themselves, they walk away. Forever.

Reality check time. The old guard ain't gonna be here forever. New and younger people will take over, if this or any other association continues to exist.

THE PAIN

I know the pain of that kind of attitude and even attacks. I ain't young, but I am new and REALLY new to a position within the global group. I took over from a gent who'd been there for 20+ years.

Some of the old guard resent this. They are taking it out on me. They do not like what I am doing.

So be it.

D, whatta guy, offered to step in on my behalf. D was there at the beginning. He knows stuff so many others do not. He just wanted to know who has problems with me. He offered to set them straight.

Wow. Thanks again, D.

I said I'd rather not say who is mad at me as I do not want to cause more division and problems. As long as they are just mad at me, all is good. I realize they are seeing their control slip away and they cannot accept this. I'm just a convenient target.

Cool. Target R Me.

Here's an important item. No one else was willing to step up and do the work I do. No one. They even offered to pay a pretty significant salary.

GET OUTTA THE WAY

It is time for them to get outta the way, sort of. Them who? Pick a group anywhere that has been in control for decades. It is time for them to let go. Let the younger crowd step up. 

If the next set of leaders are not allowed to step up and start assuming leadership roles, the association will fail.

I have seen it happen.

I used to be a member of the Southeastern Outdoor Press Association. I was driven out. I was young (early 20s), new and with some ideas the old guard did not like. At the time, SEOPA was second in prestige only to the national outdoor writer's association. I also did not fit in with the clique running the place. 

I know some of you are shocked to read that (heavy sarcasm).

Some years ago SEOPA folded. A big part of that collapse was the old guard and that clique who wanted things done their way. Doing it differently was simply not going to happen. Rather than relinquish control and accept others, they chose to let SEOPA shut down.

That national association? It had a major split around the same time. Again, the entrenched members refused to move. A second national association was created. Even combined, neither is as strong as the single national association used to be.

So be it.

MOVING ON

Before you get excited and starting pointing fingers at me, know this. I am moving on.

I have backed off. I have stepped down. I have excused myself. I have let other, much younger people take over.

Sometimes I stepped back, knowing there was no one to take over. Things fell and failed. That hurt. It should hurt. Rather, I should feel that the failure was the best thing to happen. Whatever failed did not need to exist.

Sometimes, I did not leave completely. I hung around to help if asked. I am still on the sidelines in some places. I'm there to offer support, advice and input.

If these new folks have new ideas, I give them ideas on how to do it. 

They may come up with something the old guard tried and failed at. Cool. I tell 'em we tried and it flopped but y'all are new so let's see if it works now.

I do not tell them how to do it, unless specifically asked. Even then, I say "This is how we did it. How do you want to do it?"

Mentor. Sage. Old man on the mountain. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, kinda thing. Also, very ready to hand the reins over because it is time someone else jumped on this wagon's driver's seat. I want to sit inside the coach and take a well-deserved nap.

This brings me to another idea.

DON'T TRUST

"Don't trust anyone over 30," is a statement often attributed to a bunch of people. Jack Wienberg said it first. As of this writing, Mr. Weinberg is in his mid-80s. Does he still endorse that statement or has he backed off it. I did not look because I do not care.

His statement is an attitude and opinion I shared in my teens and 20s.

Now nearly double that age, I see the foolishness in it. However, that foolishness is a reaction to an entrenched mindset of older folks who say "Change is bad."

Young folks have always rebelled. They have always challenged their elders. They have always tried to force change. We did when we were young!

“[Young people] are high-minded because they have not yet been humbled by life, nor have they experienced the force of circumstances.
...
They think they know everything, and are always quite sure about it.” 

Rhetoric Part 12 On Youthful Character, Aristotle, 4th Century BC

 And yet, the world has continued to move right along.

I am desperately trying to not be that person on either end of those quotes. I want to welcome the new and see where it takes all of us.

Some days I am better at that than others. I need to at my best every single time. Working on it.

And the truth shall set you free

Or, as I often say, if the truth hurts, yer living wrong.

Such is the case with PBS and NPR and public broadcasting all the way around. Congress is set to cut the "public broadcaster" free. A bill that passed the Senate and likely will pass the house is eliminating funding for these agencies.

Liberals are screaming.

Good.

Unless you think I'm being partisan here, lemme say I rejoice when conservatives start screaming. Why is for another blog some other day. We're here right now to celebrate our tax dollars no longer going to support this outlet for left idiotology.

As a formerly devoted fan of NPR, I listened oviaGeorgia Public Radio. I loved the Saturday morning shows especially. I often just sat in my truck weekday mornings because I had to hear the whole news report. NPR calls 'em "driveway stories."

Now, not interested. I cannot stand the hard left agenda being pushed there. I also cannot stand a hard right agenda being pushed.

Don't take my word for it.

THEY WORK FOR NPR

So how about taking the word of some people who work for NPR?

"I didn’t use to count myself among them. But over the past year, under the leadership of a divisive new CEO, instead of taking criticisms of its coverage to heart, NPR instead doubled down on agenda-driven journalism. So, as someone who had spent most of his career at the network, I didn’t support defunding. I instead suggested that NPR could build back credibility by voluntarily giving up federal support. Obviously that didn’t happen."

Uri Berliner, longtime senior editor at NPR

https://instapundit.com/732620/

I used to listen to Uri. I found his stories to be great journalism. I'd listen again, if I could find a nonpartisan place to hear him or at least a place that gave equal coverage to both sides.

So you do not want to believe Uri. Cool.

"You know the stereotype of the NPR listener: an EV-driving, Wordle-playing, tote bag–carrying coastal elite. It doesn’t precisely describe me, but it’s not far off. I’m Sarah Lawrence–educated, was raised by a lesbian peace activist mother, I drive a Subaru, and Spotify says my listening habits are most similar to people in Berkeley. 

"I fit the NPR mold. I’ll cop to that.

"It’s true NPR has always had a liberal bent, but during most of my tenure here, an open-minded, curious culture prevailed. We were nerdy, but not knee-jerk, activist, or scolding. 

"In recent years, however, that has changed. Today, those who listen to NPR or read its coverage online find something different: the distilled worldview of a very small segment of the U.S. population. "

https://www.thefp.com/p/npr-editor-how-npr-lost-americas-trust

Listened to Sarah Lawrence too. Was not as impressed with her as I was Uri.

THE SEPARATION BEGINS

My departure from public broadcasting was not overnight. The separation began slowly. It sped up.

Turner County had an important story, one with national and perhaps global significance, an ethanol plant. The plant went belly up. Beside the point.

I called Atlanta to Georgia Public Radio to brief them. I even did a short segment for that day's news cast. It aired.

I offered to do more, free! No charge. Call in once a week with major news from Southwest Georgia.

The news director at GPR said "It's not important enough." That is the policy to this day. If it does not happen in Atlanta, Savannah, Columbus and sometimes Macon, it just ain't news to GPR.

The first crack formed.

Over in Irwin County, a major news story came out thanks to the Ocilla Star and editor Luke Roberts. A federal investigation looked into the illegal immigrant detainees at the privately run prison. The feds were looking at what they said was an unusually high number of hysterectomies in the women there, among other things.

That should be national news. GPR? Nope.

For that matter, it was not worth of the attention of our Congresscritter Austin Scott. Another blog for another day.

If this was native-born Americans, the place would have been shut down.

And the crack widened.

NO TIME 

Increasingly, I noticed GPR had no time for the rest of Georgia. If it happened below the Fall Line, it was not news.

I get that. GPR's money mostly comes from the big cities mentioned above. That's where the biggest audience is.

Except according to  the very business model of public broadcasting, that is just flat wrong. Public broadcasting is meant to bring information to everyone, equally. Money was not the issue, the semi-annual fundraising campaigns aside. They gotta get money from someone to keep the lights on.

And the crack widened.

THE MAUL HITS HOME

A maul is tool used to split logs. It is really heavy and it is more of a wedge than an axe. I've used them.

NPR slammed that maul home a while back reporting on another "mass shooting." Rather than give straight information, the reporting crew interviewed people who whined about how bad guns are.

That was it. On that day, I turned off NPR and walked away. Ain't been back and don't plan to go back.

CONSTITUTION

It comes down to a matter of rights and Constitution. That grand old document says nothing about taxpayer funding any media outlets. Well, I can't find it anyway. If you can, please point it out.

So, eliminate it.

If you demand taxpayer funding for such media, cool. Work to Amend the Constitution. I'll fight you over that. If it passes, I will fight to repeal it.

FREEDOM

This is freedom for public broadcasting across the nation. If this passes, public broadcasting outlets are no longer tied to the capricious whims of an elected body that does not truly represent constituents. Ahem. Is anyone at PBS reading this?

PBS is now free to find its own way and its own source of revenue.

Taxpayer funding, as those at PBS constantly point out, is a very small percentage of their income.1% to 10%. The rest comes from donations and, yes, advertising. PBS will tell you it is not advertising, but recognizing the support these companies provide. PBS does not accept advertising, they say.

Looks like a duck, talks like and duck and walks like a duck, pretty sure it ain't a rhino.

Cut those "support" announcements and see how long those companies would continue to give money.

YOU GIVE

Like PBS, NPR, GPB or whatever it is in your state? Give 'em money direct from your wallet.

YAY! Good'un onya mate. You go! Go shawty, go shawty!

Just do not steal from me to fund them. Let me decide where my money goes.

If PBS believes its liberal base is enough to support its mission, then let 'em prove it. Let them live it exactly the same way private media companies around the nation do every single day.

In case you don't wonder, cantservatives are more giving than liarberals. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34429211/

I don't get it

Make this clear from the start-

For too many years I was an angry man, angry at myself, the people around me and the world in general. This anger was something I chose. It was created by me, instilled in me and nurtured by me. No one else.

No one can make mad except me. No one can make you mad except yourself.

It is easy, too easy, to point fingers and say "THIS! This is why I am angry." This being an external source. It's also a lie. I chose to be angry and I chose to let that spill out into other areas of my life. I let other people push my buttons.

I've come to know these buttons too well. A few people can still push them. That old rage bubbles and I have to back off and remind myself -

I ain't that person any more.
What happens now is a good thing.
This will make me better and stronger.

2 AM

And yet despite that seething resentment, because that is all anger is, I have 2 a.m. friends. I have people in my life who are loyal to me as I am to them. I have people I can call at any time, day or night, and we pick up a conversation as if it was interrupted by one of us going to the bathroom. 

Yes. I have people in my life who are not blood kin but are closer than that. These people will ... nuf said. I have done for them and they will do for me. 

Why?

I don't get it.

TRUTH AND PAIN

My daughter Susan asked Robin how she can work for me. 

Damn. That hurts. If the truth hurts, yer living wrong. I have to change. Reality will not adapt to me, I must change to flow with it.

I asked Robin the same thing.

"Well, you do your thing and I do mine. It works," she said.

wow.

I have run other people away from working for me, literally. One lady, a preacher's wife, came to interview for a job. I talked to her. Then, I said as I always do to people who think they can work here, "I'm gonna leave. You talk to (whoever is in the office). Ask what I am like to work for. You decide if you can work for and with me. I do not want to know what you talk about or what is said."

I went for a walk. I came back and the lady was rushing out the door, nearly at a run. She said something about not being able to work with and for me. A few others tried to work here and could not.

That's on me.

Other people worked for me. They left for better jobs and better pay. They told me that except for the pay, they would stay. They told me, "You need me, call. I'll come help."

REGRET

I sit here thinking back on the days when I was a walking bucket of toxicity, a ball of rage, a flamethrower hosing everything.

And yet, there are people who saw this and stood by me. They still do.

I don't get it.

And that is my regret - that I hurt too many people without just cause. That I drove away too many people because I refused to control myself. That I chose to be someone I now look on with sadness and regret.

I cannot undo that damage. If I could, I would. No sacrifice is too big to erase, not just heal for that leaves a scar, but to erase as if it had never been. I would do it.

Maybe.

Then again, erasing will leave a hole, an empty place, a lacunae. What will fill it? Damfino. Would that hole even be noticed? Damfino.

I also wonder about that these people I hurt without cause, will they look at it as a beneficial experience? Will they say, "That too was a good thing."? Will they look on what happened and believe they came out better and stronger for it?

I hope so. I do not know. Still, I wish it had not happened.

BIZARRE

Even more bizarre, sometimes I meet people. We spend a few hours together and they are a 2 a.m. friend.

Why? I don't get it.

Other people I meet, we spend a while together and they walk away never wanting to see me again. That, whether I get it or not, is something I'm used to. 

But those people who hang around, want to come back and so on, I don't get it.

She Who Must Not Be Named is one of those who met me and took an instant liking. Over the decades she has defended me to those who attacked me in her presence. Did not ask her to do this. She did.

"Ben Baker has integrity," she said. "You can tell him something [in private] and it stays there."

Well, yeah. That's the way it is supposed to be. Nothing unusual there, to me anyway. <shrugs>

But why? 

What do other people see in me that I cannot see?

Some of these people say I am a good man.

I am not. I am trying and frequently failing to be better. Don't they see all the pain, hurt and misery I caused in others and suffered my own self?

I don't get it.

Dreams I'll see

My dreams can head off the deep end and start swimming down. I'm too old to believe I'm unique in this, but some times I do wake up and wonder if anyone else is quite as weird.

People who know me are now saying, "Yeah. Gonna have to find people in an mental ward to find weirder dreams than yours."

I also have dreams about people, places and events. I have situations that recur, regularly, with people and places that made a real impact on me. These dreams reflect what happened and how it shaped me into the person I am today.

Not all of these dreams are welcome.

OUT WEST

Spent a year out west living in Henderson, NV., the second biggest city in the state. It shares a City Limits sign with Vegas. It was my first professional job as a journalist. I'd freelanced for the papers in Troy, AL., and worked on the college newspaper. The Henderson Home News and its sister papers the Boulder City News and Green Valley News were the first papers where I made all my living as a writer.

It was good. I learned a lot. I made from friends. Out there I learned the real power of the media for the first time. That was also the first time someone tried to get me to run for office, namely the Henderson City Council.

I did not know while living out there, but I missed the South. I missed trees. I missed being able to grab my canoe and hit a pond for an evening of fishing. I missed being able to grab a gun and step into the woods to get something for supper. I missed so much more.

I really did not know how much I missed. I got the first idea of it when we (wife) and I crossed into Texas. We stopped at The Big Texan in Amarillo, home of the 72 ounce steak. The waitress took our order. She spoke with a Southern accent. I wanted to hug her. It reminded me of a Tennessee family I saw at The Hush Puppy restaurant in Vegas. I heard their accent and it was hard to not run up and hug them.

I got catfish. Real catfish. Real deep fried catfish. I could almost hear the gas burner under the pot holding the hot grease.

I was so happy to get back to the South.

DREAMS I'LL SEE

For years I dreamed of living out there again. It is much less now. For a long time, I dreamt I was back out west either working for or looking for a job with a newspaper. I'd wake up and be angry. Yes. I know I am the only person who can make me mad. These were (are) my dreams and I do not like them. I got angry because my brain apparently feels I need to go back out there. 

Yes. They are just dreams. I do not get angry any more, but I do not like these dreams. I wish they would stop

No. Just no. For years I swore I'd never go back, never go too far past the Mississippi River. Texas, certainly. Past that? Noooooo.

I have visited the northeast part of New Mexico for a freelance job twice and I will go back more, at least as long as I keep the freelance job. It is wonderful there. Live there full time? Don't think I could do it.

Also been to eastern Washington State to hunt with Jesse. I do not consider that to be out west, event though it is geographically. Don't want to live there full time either, but go back to visit and hunt or fish? Absolutely.

FLORIDA

Got into an argument with an editor at the Georgia paper I worked at after returning from Nevada. He was the editor and I was a reporter. Moved to Florida.

Spent 2.5 years working for John F. Lee at the Apalachicola Times and the Carrabelle Times. Unlike the erstwhile Georgia newspaper editor, I have kept in touch with John. 

John Fred Lee taught me A LOT about how work at a newspaper, how to be a boss (both good and bad) and how to do a lot more. I checked with him before writing this. He was an ass at times. Yes, I have his permission to state these things.

Shari actually told him once, "I wish you had lupus."

I. Was. Floored. She told me she'd never wish that disease on anyone. And yet, in a moment of pique, she did. John Fred Lee could do that to people. He was the most divisive person in Franklin County when he ran the newspaper.

JFL shows up sometimes when the Sandman comes. We talk about me going back to work for him. Except as of this writing, he's not at the paper any more and has not been there for years. Still, impressions.

Yes, I met a lot of people there, people who took me and Shari in, protected us, fed us, helped us and even helped pay some of our bills when she had to quit work because of her lupus and the need for a hip replacement. To all of you, thank you. I wish I could tell you how much it meant.

Anyway, yes I dream about being back on the Gulf of MEXICO coast and working at the paper with JFL. Sometimes the dreams are good, sometimes bad. When I recall people who were there for us, wow. Too many to name, but three must be. The Miller Clan, led by Xuripha and the Pennycuff clan led by Charles. They did so much.

Then Jesse. He came up mean and nasty. Drinkin', Fightin'. Womanizing. He'd go to work, get done and spend money on chasing those three things. 

Then he found a Savior. He lived for his Risen God.

For a while anyway. He's gone to his reward.

He found out he had lung cancer. No insurance. He could not afford the expensive treatments. His only work was what he could get there in Franklin County before development exploded the place. He knew his time here was limited.

And yet, he paid to have a telephone installed in the house where we lived. Shari was fresh off a hip replacement and needed a way to call for help. We couldn't afford a phone at the time and this was well before cell phones were affordable and available in rural Florida.

You find a person friend like that, you have something worth more than Elon Musk's empire.

When Jesse comes around in the middle of my snoring, I'm so glad to see him again.

CANADA

Sometimes home is a place you've never seen before. Think of the song Beulah Land.

I could not live there full time. I am allergic to snow. It makes me break out in urges to move to the Equator. Some days I still think I could manage that. I know I could manage it if my beloved South ceased to be.

Will and Maggie.

I frequently dream of going to Canada. I wake up happy and full of joy that I was in the Great White North and then as I wake more, I realize it was just a dream. It has, a time or two, brought me to crying because I was not truly there.

Here's also a place where my dreams derail from reality. One time, I was dreaming about being there and coming back to the US. We rode a golf cart through the border checkpoint which looked exactly like a flea market. Booths, stalls, tables, people lined up on both sides selling about anything you can imagine and some things that defy imagination.

Customs had a small office just a few yards part, the US on the south side and Canada on the north side.

Bizarre.